Duh moments?

Duh moments? (Full Version)

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allthatjaz -> Duh moments? (12/22/2010 2:53:11 AM)
We have to see the funny side of this as well as the more serious side. For the dominants, what sort of funny reactions, requests or blunders have you had from submissives? and the same question to submissives? My all time best was back in the days when I was a pro Domme. A new client arrived who was unusually confident. I sat him down for my usual 10 minute introductory chat when he hushed me and announced that he saw pro Dommes at least twice a week and he had done the rounds. He liked to score them from 1 to 10. 1 being hopeless and 10 being exceptional. He said, 'if you don't mind I would like to score this session and if we can break off 10 minutes early, I am happy to tell you how you scored' That had to be the most nerve wracking session I ever did!

LoveSparkie -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:15:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz That had to be the most nerve wracking session I ever did! Oh my, It seems to me like he had a bit more control over you then you did of him, Sometimes I wonder if some doms pretend to be submissive but turn the tables just to get a kick out of it. Sometimes it seems that way. lol

LadyConstanze -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:16:46 AM)
Funniest one was a guy who demanded a cruel whipping, no mercy, OWK style, no safe word, and tried to insist on no warm up, claimed to have lots of experience, good thing that I told him that I won't do it without a warm-up and since I don't know him, he will get a safe word but should be aware when he uses it it's game over... Tried to argue with him that it's not a good idea to play like that if you don't know each other, but he was stroppy as hell. End of story I warmed him up, first with my bare hands and then with a paddle, he screamed as if he was skinned alive, safeworded, I thought he was joking (given that "I have so much experience and this is what I really want" talk before) and asked what his problem is, we're not even whipping yet and he's so experienced. He told me that he watched plenty of whipping clips and DVDs and in none of the films it looked very painful. A few years ago but whenever I think of that, I can't help but giggle...

LadyConstanze -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:18:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz That had to be the most nerve wracking session I ever did! Oh my, It seems to me like he had a bit more control over you then you did of him, Sometimes I wonder if some doms pretend to be submissive but turn the tables just to get a kick out of it. Sometimes it seems that way. lol I think a good idea might have been to say "No need to stop earlier, you see I don't really care about your rating..." That would have messed his power trip up a bit.

allthatjaz -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:27:54 AM)
Oh geez LC, I have had one of those! Cyber masochists are a nightmare. Very true LS, though I did have the right to refuse him a session (which I didn't because I was confident enough to dominate him). As a pro Domme you often don't feel particularly dominant towards a client. Domination, at least for me, requires chemistry and chemistry doesn't work with anyone and everyone who walked through my door. That's when becoming a good actress pays off!. At the end of the day he was paying me in big notes and I actually saw his request reasonable and very funny.

allthatjaz -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:29:31 AM)
Finishing ten minutes early was usually a bonus and I actually did want to know how I had scored lol. At the end of the day I'm only human [:)]

crazyml -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:31:22 AM)
And the scores on the doors???

allthatjaz -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 3:47:23 AM)
Darn, I knew someone would ask that! If I scored badly I wouldn't be telling you that! I actually scored ok, though I didn't get a ten and he did come back! I used to go to a lot of clubs and I knew a good few pro Dommes. It was fun finding out who else he had been to and what they had scored!

Michael75 -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 4:18:22 AM)
Note to self: Don't try to whip someone without my glasses on. Didn't go badly, I just missed a couple of times then had to go and fetch them.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 4:32:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze He told me that he watched plenty of whipping clips and DVDs and in none of the films it looked very painful. Hah! I'm grinning now. [:D] I think I've told Lady C about this before, but one time at Subversion I was on a sofa making out with some friends. My head was a bit fuzzy, and I assumed the pressure round my ankle was my friend's ankle hooked over mine, until my other friend looked up and said 'fuck, there's a man on your foot!'. And there was. He was licking my boot, and he'd been there for at least five minutes. My instincts were torn between kicking him in the face and getting my foot away from him as fast as possible. Looking back I kind of wish I'd gone with the first option. Then he just got up and wandered off like nothing had happened. I shudder to think of the state that floor was in, and what he must have picked up off it. Hopefully it gave him a stomach bug, the creep.

81song -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 6:48:15 AM)
Yes humor does help out at times.Its a funny thing but in D/s one never really knows what one will do until REAL time happens. This one time this Domme was whipping me and I suddenly started to laugh. I still do not know why but I was just letting it out loud. She told me to stop and I could not help it but to go on laughing. She threaten me with a very large dildo that had a handle on it. Just one look at that thing made me stop on a dine.

OsideGirl -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 6:54:52 AM)
One of the first few times Master and I were playing together. He puts a ball gag in and then ties me to a post. He smacks my ass.....and I sneeze. I crack my forehead against the post (didn't hurt) and my lips go "bbpbpbpbpbpb" around the ballgag, which cracks me up. Now, I'm laughing, but because of the ball gag it sounds like crying. Master has no idea what happened and quickly cuts me down because he thinks I'm crying. He lays me on the floor and takes the ball gag out and I'm laughing my ass off. It took awhile before I could explain the sneeze.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 7:11:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious I shudder to think of the state that floor was in, and what he must have picked up off it. Hopefully it gave him a stomach bug, the creep. I had this happen to me once, when I'd just walked in and sat down briefly at my computer during a party someone else was throwing in my dungeon space. I looked down and asked him what the hell he was doing. With a smile that wouldn't have melted butter, he said, "Licking your boot, Mistress." Well, duuh. I can see that. I allowed as to how I was not his Mistress and I still had no idea WHY he was licking my boot without orders or even informed consent. He had no satisfactory answer for that, so I explained that he had better go see a doctor for a check-up, as these were my work boots, not my play boots. I had just come from mucking animal pens and butchering roadkill. The boots were covered with dead animal blood, organ juices and animal shit. They'd been briefly hosed off to enter the house, but were definitely not safe to lick. He initially didn't believe me, but the folks who knew where I spent my days set him straight in a hurry. Dude scurried to the bathroom looking green, and was never seen again. Sometimes there is justice in this world.

hausboy -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 4:41:12 PM)
Oh man, there were so many over the years! Along the lines of clueless men in wrong places..... I was fisting my girlfriend who was in the sling. It was very intense, and we were both having a wonderful time. I usually insist, if she can muster it, to maintain eye contact with me while I'm in "there", since after a certain point, verbal communication can be challenging. So we're chugging along, she has a very intense orgasm--she closes her eyes.........and then opens them. And when my eyes meet hers..... I see a look of absolute horror, and she does this eye "motioning" thing--indicating there is something to my left. And there was. A dungeon tourist. Right over my shoulder....any closer and I might have been impaled. I give him a rather icy look. He replies: "Wow. That was absolutely amazing." Says me: "So glad you enjoyed it....but you are entirely too close. Please step back and give us some space.' He argues: "It's a public play space" Says me: "I have one fist still available. If I can reach your ass from here, it's going up it..." He left. :-)

Kana -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 8:15:34 PM)
Huh, you wanna know one of my many Duh Moments? Grins. Here's one Turn the ceiling fan off BEFORE you begin flogging.

LadyPact -> RE: Duh moments? (12/22/2010 8:53:58 PM)
Blunders? Hells bells. Too many to list. You want to talk about nerve wracking though, I have no problem pinpointing that. First time I was topping in front of Archer. I was scared to death that he would see every flaw. If he did, he never said a word. Even complimented Me afterward to say he enjoyed watching. Good man, Archer. Might just be surprised to know how much I think of him.

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