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RedBottomGirl26 -> RE: What is a strict master/mistress/dom (12/27/2010 6:16:40 PM)
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Minotauros, I felt I wanted to point out something in particular about your phrasing, no one else seem to catch on to it, I normally don't like to block quote too much text, but I don't want to take what you said out of context. You said, "quote:
Would you agree if I said a strict master is someone who keeps the sub in a "small mental cage"? Don't give much room to move or for interpretation. Always enforce these rules unless there are good reasons not to do so (e.g. sickness).
This is done by providing a basic set of rules that are "easy" to follow. Add a couple of hard rules. This will keep the sub on its toes. The more rules the smaller the cage.
The rules have to be matched with the particular sub.
Now, I agreed with a few things, so please don't think I'm being "snarky", I agreed that some rules do have to be matched from Dom to sub, not every person is capable of being everything else to one person. Please be careful of your use of the term "it's" when refering to a submissive, this sort of implies that you are dehumanizing us already, and I don't know about other subs that are out there, but I'm always very leery of men who use "it" terms when implying a female is involved. I know you are new, so I'm taking that into account, and I don't want to appear mean, but on the other hand, when I saw the wording used, I could help but feel that was a Freudian slip on your part (perhaps an subconcious desire).
I do agree, a strict master or Dom would be someone who kept someone in a small mental cage, and it would be quite unfair I feel. It's one thing to be kept at arms length phyiscally, but no one likes their mental freedom to be kept in question, people can accept the physical far more than mental bondage and I wouldn't try testing that assumption, for you may end up on the losing end of that one. You are correct in considering the health of the sub, but to say that she should follow all "orders" or commands unless she is sick, kind of implies that you are only thinking of yourself and not the overall picture. If you are not thinking about her well-being all the time, even when you ask something "different" than the usual, then perhaps you should reconsider if you are at a good place right now to be a good Dom to anyone. Taking care of someone else is not for people who are rushed for time [not saying you are, just my general observation] and it's not for someone who is arrogant,brash, or over-whelmed with a flood of emotions. All of us have been there, when we first admitted who we really were, but it's not always a good thing to go jumping off the bridge into shark infested waters, one thing, if you are prepared and are in a steeled caged for doing so [to use a bad analogy haha]. I'm just saying to try to take your time, to figure things out, really think about what other people are looking for, and if you can realistically do the things you think you can. You might find physical application to be much tougher than just dreaming about it.
Again, I'm not trying to offend you, or flame you, but I just wanted you to be a little more aware of how you are coming across to others at times. Though, I think you are getting better, you seem to genuinely want to adjust, and that is honestly a rare thing.
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