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RLMK -> RE: Overly Independent Master? (12/27/2010 8:20:35 PM)
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Long long ago, in the dawns of time, when my family had money, we had staff. The very good ones did not want to be talked to while serving dinner, etc. I asked once, and was told it was a matter of pride that glasses were filled, dishes cleared, beds turned down, decanters filled, etc w.o. ever being asked. HOWEVER, a household like that is very different - theres little privacy, except that a good servant never *remembers* anything they inadvertently hear, and you're dependent on the discretion of the staff - and, certain things are done certain ways to simplify matters. (EG, things will not be left alone, so everything needs to have a particular place, and a set manner, or the entire room needs to be off-limits.)
So, the walls came crashing down, etc we move off to a ranch in the backwoods, and we have hands, and people who help out around the house, but the social gap is, almost, gone. When I go back to the old environment, I commit blunders - I thank people for filling my glass, offer to help the elder staff carry luggage, lose patience w. staff walking into rooms w. closed doors, etc.
Your in the same position, I think. Your sub wants to learn to anticipate your needs, and to do everything in the manner you wish it - you are at the difficult stage now, but you should be able to work through it.
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