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Accused of not liking men? - 4/30/2006 8:38:56 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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I just recently had an experience that has me throwing out a question to other Dommes. I've worked almost exclusively with men the last 10 years in a managerial capacity. Obviously as a Domme I keep boys as pets, maids and toys. I do my best to not objectify any of my subs because they are one of my most precious posessions. But I view them as that a posession...sentient and thinking but less than a full partner.

Unfortunatly this was the persons very point. Their accusation was that I don't actually LIKE men. Thus the reason that I throw the question of has anyone ever said something like this to you out for the masses?

I can't say that this hurts my feelings or made me angry. I think it's the lack of any feeling on the subject that has me concerned.

Post #: 1

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 4/30/2006 9:05:01 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Am often accused of not liking men but don't take any of their negativity on board. If they truly understood dominance and submission, control and subservience, being served and servitude they would realise the d/s relationship takes respect from both sides.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 2

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 4/30/2006 9:13:45 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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Honestly it's my lack of any feelings on the subject that have me more concerned than anything that was said. It was kind of one of those situations where someone says something hoping to get a rise out of you and all you can do is look at them and go...AND?

Was curious if other Dommes had similar experiences.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 3

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 4/30/2006 9:23:54 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

The way I figure it if a rise is what they are after rather than actually been enlightened to d/s as a personal dynamic, 'and?' is a perfectly suitable response.

Lack of feeling on the subject might just be that you are simply resigned to and comfortable in your headspace as fem dom. Feeling like you don't have to defend your lifestyle choices is a good thing.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 4

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 4/30/2006 9:57:54 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
Lack of feeling on the subject might just be that you are simply resigned to and comfortable in your headspace as fem dom. Feeling like you don't have to defend your lifestyle choices is a good thing.

This is at least an encouraging answer. I was starting to think that somewhere along the line I'd turned into a bitch and just didn't care.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 5

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 4/30/2006 10:17:28 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Maybe...but not caring about the arrogance of the uninformed... isn't the same as 'not caring' in your personal life.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 6

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 12:38:42 AM

mechbot972007

Posts: 29
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline

i was on line today talking to a Lady that i would have (will) given anything to have the ability to spend time with her....some of our common interest are CB, Cuckolding, and Femdom...i being the ever pushy sub..thinking that i know what i have to offer and how great that gift is...i mean it was a self evaluation...so being the pompous azz that i am..i sent photos of my self (asking before hand, i do have manors)...thinking that my shere male form would woo her.....lol.....once she saw the pic's she stated that i might need to be in better shape..that she normaly has relationships with men that other women want to flirt or throw into bed (i think she ment pretty boys)men that are in better shape....to further push my own value i sent her a pic of my most prized position....upon looking at that pic...she laughed and stated that it was a "cute lil thing" and that she understood as to why my female partners would want to be in a cuckold relationship (i am para phrazing)...it cut to the bone...put me exactly were i needed to be....she was not mean about it...she was not rude...she was not striking out...she knows what and who i truly am and in one smooth move put me there....i am more enthralled than ever...now she has seared me to her..and i have never even met in person....some would say she was being a bitch because she put herself over me...some would say she doesn't like men..but truth be told she likes real men...men that can met her needs to be filled..why should she have to risk her wants and needs to dodge the "bitch or hates men" labels? these labels came from frightened men
Respectfully
chris

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 7

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 3:07:39 AM

LoneGoddess

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline

No, can't say I've ever been accused of that one. Though I've heard it from the submissive men about other ladies on occasion. I must be too nice, dammit. I must work on my sadistic skills... *evil laughter* No, not man hating, but I have been called, "You evil sadistic bitch" rather loudly on occasion, whereupon I usually inform the submissive that "you evil sadistic bitch" isn't his safe word.

~LG

_____________________________

~*~
"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time.
There are too many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them."~DfaI

(in reply to mechbot972007)

Post #: 8

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 6:10:43 AM

MsDominiquenz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

Hello theRose.
Strange isnt it? Im relaxed about it too..and I have also had the admin position, males involved... and live a 24/7 lifestyle,slave, pets and visitors.
Its a percepetion that folk can have if their pin prick understanding of the world sets that up, and if they are so rude as to let you know they think that..well.
Im out, so Ive had in the vanilla world, you cant dominate meeeeeee..(erm, so I want to ??)
Also.. what you do seems hateful, you must hate men to do this, yeah..i wish i could beat a few men to get my anger out too..*sigh*
I also wondered if it was cold hearted to just go *blink* and I suppose in a way it is..heehee I would reather be cool to the idiots than in My realworld with the BDSMers.
Besides.. its like shouting into the wind and defending what you are...boring.

mechbot said what the Ladies and his common interests were, and that that was what was played out in conversation.. so that humiliation was in context, ok, so just not workable in the street with a stranger, but when it will fizz a bung?..woohoo.
Not unfeeling, just where it belongs.
You cannot last long being a man or a woman hater in this environment..just the opposite I believe, and if observers think you see your subs/slaves as chattels, well you are just in control of how you have people in your life and what you want from that.
Nothing wrong there, s long as you are balanced, empathetic, and truthful.
(From another uncaring unfeeling Bitch)

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to LoneGoddess)

Post #: 9

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 7:04:49 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Yes Ive heard this and I think its because we are dominant and women are *supposed* to be submissive, or so our society says. When a woman stands up to a man she's a *bitch* or a *miltant feminist*, if she tries to be his equal she's a *lesbian* etc etc you get the idea.

I've been told Im a manhater and nothing could be further from the truth. I just expect a grown man to act like a grown man, with respect for himself and for me. I expect him to act intelligently and with some manners. I also expect him to see me as an equal and treat me as such. I don't want to have my behind patted on the job or told "not to worry my pretty little head" about things.

I don't get upset when someone says this to me as I figure its their insecurity thats speaking and has nothing to do with my feelings at all.

~Lashra

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 10

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 7:18:47 AM

MstrssSatin

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I think every strong independent woman has been told she is a manhater. Usually by insecure males. As a result I ignore them. Men who are truly secure and know what they want are all that interest me. I personally appreciate a masculine, self-assured male and enjoy watching and touching the male form (the more masculine the better). I also think that as dominant women we are just more open with our appreciation and our role in regard to men. Not every male is man enough to catch our eye but those who do are in pure bliss. Those who call us manhaters are either insecure or just jealous.

Mistress Satin

< Message edited by MstrssSatin -- 5/1/2006 7:19:53 AM >

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 11

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 7:27:00 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

This is at least an encouraging answer. I was starting to think that somewhere along the line I'd turned into a bitch and just didn't care.

Maybe you have. I'm a bitch.

BITCHOLOGY When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, I am labeled “bitch”. When I stand up for those I love, I am labeled “bitch”. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, I am labeled “bitch”. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am labeled “bitch”. When I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, I am labeled “bitch”. Therefore, being a bitch must mean: I won't compromise what's in my heart. I live my life MY way. I won't allow anyone to step on me. I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and I strive for it! I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I should be. So you can try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it. I am a bitch! Author unknown

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 12

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 7:40:56 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssSatin

I think every strong independent woman has been told she is a manhater. Usually by insecure males.

Mistress Satin

Or by women who are threatened by our status ... because we might shake up their 'perfect little world' if their guy gets wind of what we do (had it happen ... it was weird).

(in reply to MstrssSatin)

Post #: 13

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 8:02:47 AM

WeeIttyBitty

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline

"I was starting to think that somewhere along the line I'd turned into a bitch and just didn't care. "

You say bitch like its a bad thing. If you didnt like men, what would that mean?

Men have a lot of traits that make them difficult to tolerate, let alone like.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 14

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 8:33:34 AM

MstrssSatin

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

SweetDommes said, "Or by women who are threatened by our status ... because we might shake up their 'perfect little world' if their guy gets wind of what we do (had it happen ... it was weird)."

You are correct SweetDommes, I should have included them as well.

Mistress Satin

(in reply to WeeIttyBitty)

Post #: 15

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 9:51:31 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I'm far more likely to be accused of not liking men by folks who find out that I also identify as a radical feminist.

Anyone who sees me with people, be they my husband, friends, students, slave, family, can see that first and foremost I defend those who are connected to me and I defend them on all levels. Anyone tossing out sexist BS of any type is very likely to get my verbal boot up their butt.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 16

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 1:59:13 PM

MistressLina

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/17/2006
From: Montreal
Status: offline

On the subject of bitches, my (soon to be) mother-in-law says a bitch is: a Babe In Total Control of Herself. Lol, she's gotta be a closet Domme.

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Mistress Lina...indulge in your fantasy...

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 17

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 2:11:57 PM

WishHouse

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

*evil laughter* No, not man hating, but I have been called, "You evil sadistic bitch" rather loudly on occasion, whereupon I usually inform the submissive that "you evil sadistic bitch" isn't his safe word.

Oooh, I'm stealing your line. I like it.

As for being called an unfeeling, uncaring, man-hating bitch, yeah, I get it sometimes. What I find amusing is that I actually like men quite a lot. I know a lot of ladies who are pretty damn irritated with the male gender, but I've never been one of them.

It dosen't sound to me like you don't care about your pets, more that you don't give a damn about what some random fool thinks of you or your life. I don't care about them, either- if they wouldn't get off sitting under my dining room table while my roomates and I rest our feet on him, eating the dinner he cooked, I'm not terribly interested in doing that with him.

There are, what, eleven bazillion submissive men out there, who want to please, pamper, and play with us? How is giving a man what he desires and craves more than anything else a hateful act? I mean, I do it for ME, anything he gets out of it is a nice, secondary benifit, but really. Some people have desires that the mainstream will never understand. Filling these desires because they match nicely with yours is hardly an act of hatred or anger. It's FUN.

Some people will never get it, though.

(in reply to LoneGoddess)

Post #: 18

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 5:53:51 PM

Mlicious

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

For anyone who suggests that I respond; "If I didn't adore men, I would not devote so much time to torturing them!" That is usually a loaded enough answer to keep them occupied, they get distracted turning it over in their heads. Personally, if there is a person or subject that I dislike, I do not spend time or energy on it.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 19

RE: Accused of not liking men? - 5/1/2006 10:34:50 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Yes Ive heard this and I think its because we are dominant and women are *supposed* to be submissive, or so our society says. When a woman stands up to a man she's a *bitch* or a *miltant feminist*, if she tries to be his equal she's a *lesbian* etc etc you get the idea.

I've been told Im a manhater and nothing could be further from the truth. I just expect a grown man to act like a grown man, with respect for himself and for me. I expect him to act intelligently and with some manners. I also expect him to see me as an equal and treat me as such. I don't want to have my behind patted on the job or told "not to worry my pretty little head" about things.

I don't get upset when someone says this to me as I figure its their insecurity thats speaking and has nothing to do with my feelings at all.

~Lashra

I've heard almost all of these at one time or another. The funny part is being called a bitch doesn't even bug me anymore. Being told I'm apparently a man hater from someone that really doesn't know me was kind of a puzzler.
I take a lot of heat at work (not out) about my last boy being needy and jokes about maybe I should whip him into submission once and for all...he he if they only knew. The puzzler for me with this situation was not really feeling anything, no need to defend myself or come out and explain just...nothing. I honestly found this kind of disturbing. I'm a rather emotional and feeling person, heck even my fur kids can sense others emotions. This one I just don't get...I guess some boys are just better at the end of a leash with a ball gag. Sit there and look pretty boy if I want any shit out of you I'll squeeze your head.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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