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Genobee -> RE: SLAVES: mindset (1/27/2011 8:01:39 PM)
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Hm, let me compose myself first...
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...
Okay.
Well first of all I would like to state that I've been sub since about age 7 when for some reason I had a urge to get my friends to make me have their foot in my mouth.
I obviously at the time didn't know why, but it felt good in a humiliating sense.
I didn't find out till years later of what a sub even actually was which I think was my freshman year in high school.
Since that time I spent a lot of time mediating about it, as it was important for me to understand how myself worked.
What made me tick, ya know?
Well my conclusions from this time of insight is what best describes the magic behind my mindset as a sub...
With that said though, I do not speak for any other sub and I actually believe everyone ticks for slightly different reasons.
However, this is what I came to understand...
I enjoy the idea of submitting to someone I like because I obsess over every aspect of them that attracts me.
My mind mentally indulges submission as a way of dedicating and showing love and praise to what has caught its eye as desirable and lovable.
It wants me to do things that show my submission to that person and thus drives thoughts and desires to submit despite the humiliation it may bring.
In-fact, my mind reasons the more humiliation in the task, the more profound that act of praise and worship becomes.
This leads my mind to pleasure immensely from submissive acts that boasts in humiliation.
The more time I spend with that person, the more that desire to praise grows.
Everything becomes about praising and submitting to the other person because of that..
However, the things my mind has set apart as physical worship are especially enthralled by me.
Such things involve foot worship as my mind recognized the submission to feet as an extreme physical act of submission and servitude since a very young age.
Thus I'm guessing my mind has a fix on submission as an ultimate way of showing love and praise to someone and thus has based all fundamental conclusions about relationships based on this understanding.
It is because of this mental conception that I pleasure from submission and all things related and strive for it.
This explanation probably raises questions such as to what extent does such a mindset give in terms to personal confidence and the ability to set limits.
To answer them respectively, confidence comes from perspective in which mine gives me the confidence I need and then-some.
An example of this is I take great pride in how my mind has developed.
I feel lucky to be able the to feel things I can because of it...and I often find many other things in life lacking in comparison because of such pleasures that come with my mindset...
Granted, it also has made me a much more sensitive person..as being based in submission means you have to have a strong ability to love to the point of obsession.
Or well, at least I find that true for me.
Limits comes from reasoning and maturity. There are extents I'm willing to go to depending on how much I trust the person I would be with for example.
Also, the closer I get with someone, the further I'd be willing to go because as my interest in that person increases,
my desire to submit does as well, and thus tempts me to give into more humiliating acts as time goes.
Just as any mindset though, you learn things through experiences.
I've become a lot tougher because of going through pain of being rejected by people I have grown very strong feelings for.
Eventually you learn how far you let your love for someone go in accordance to just how close you are with them.
You also learn to get used to the backlash from rejection. It's also important to keep strong confidence in yourself because of this...
If you don't...well, you probably would just commit suicide.
When I was young and completely inexperienced in who I was and how my mind worked, I wasn't ready for the pain associated with it and fell in a very dark place because of it.
My strong relationship with Jesus is the only reason I pulled out from it as it filled me with plenty of confidence and a means to build a better perspective for myself.
Not to bring religion into this of course, but it is the accurate truth to how I got over a pretty hefty hurdle in my life...
Anyways, I think that sums up my current understandings of my submissive mindset.
I hope it has helped you understand what some submissives may have going on in their minds. :3
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