RE: Punishments for subby.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/16/2011 8:09:25 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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If punishment is not working.. Try not using punishment.

For me anyone who would feel the need to put me in the corner or ignore me or hit me because I've done wrong, is going to inspire me to do it more to show them that they just arent getting it.

Sometimes Doms think they have open lines of communication but they truly dont. For example the last person I was considering dating, would simply pull back any type of contact whenever I would tell him something he didnt like subconsciously. He didnt know he was doing it but the effect was the same, I stopped telling him things he needed to know and the relationship died before it started.

For someone who is lying Id simply sit down and talk to them. Explain that nothing they say will incur punishment, and you wont get mad... and STICK to it..... for all you know subconsciously you could be giving cues you dont know about thats encouraging the behavior to lie.

And for the most part people tend to listen when spoken to and things are talked out... Like miss-communicated expectations... or expectations being to high for the situation at present..

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/16/2011 8:11:01 PM

LDVixen

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Joined: 11/28/2010
From: Southern CA
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I think the worst "punishment" a Dom ever gave me was to be made to write an essay stating why what I had done was so bad, why it had disgraced me as well as him by my public act, and why he should forgive me for my transgression and not simply release me. I was made to write, memorize, then recite this to him.

By the time I got to the end of reciting it, I was sobbing my heart out. Heck, before I ever got to the point of finishing writing it, I was sobbing my heart out. It wasn't a power play on his part, it was a learning experience for me. I broke a major rule, knowing as I was doing it that it was not okay, but I was in a pissed off mood and allowed my raw emotions to take over. I knew as soon as I was done that I was way out of line, but even then, I did not stop what I was doing.

If he had beaten me bloody, stood me in a corner, or done anything else, I would probably have rebelled further. By simply telling me what he expected me to do, dropping me off at home, and leaving me alone for a week, I had time to calm down and reflect on my transgressions.

Writing it down, defining why I had done it, expressing why it was wrong, and why he should give me another chance was so much more than just a "mind-fuck". It was what I can only describe as having my very soul flogged, except I was the one who flogged myself. He never lifted a finger. It was then that I realized that disappointing yourself with bad behavior is far worse than disappointing another being. You have to have respect for yourself before you can respect another or be respected in return.

I tend to be a playful sub, but I never, ever again misbehave with malice in mind.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/16/2011 8:11:41 PM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance
Sometimes Doms think they have open lines of communication but they truly dont. For example the last person I was considering dating, would simply pull back any type of contact whenever I would tell him something he didnt like subconsciously. He didnt know he was doing it but the effect was the same, I stopped telling him things he needed to know and the relationship died before it started.

quoted for truth.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/16/2011 8:37:28 PM

LPslittleclip

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for me my Mistress knows that i adore attention so when i am not providing the level of submission that She desires She will refuse to speak to me or allow any contact with Her . i do try my best but there are times that i falter

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/16/2011 10:49:38 PM

TNDommeK

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I think you have a point, although I have tried that before, I think I will include that also the next time she does something like this. she adores attention from Me, be it whatever it is.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/16/2011 10:55:54 PM

TNDommeK

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spirited- I have done the sit down and talk it out situation. the lie was just something that fell out of her mouth. it was something so irrelavant. but I do understand the whole part about you stopped telling things needed to know etc. it can be harmful to a relationship.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/17/2011 3:04:15 AM

MAMandSlave

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@MasterRaven, My girl did this during a kink.com shoot and we found that doing this for an exetened period of time can result in rice sized scars. So be careful regarding this unless you don't mind scarring.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/17/2011 3:46:24 PM

slutsarah18

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Lines are always the worst for me after having to write "i am a useless whore my only purpose is to be on my knees like the slut i am
il never forget that line after 10,000 lines

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/17/2011 4:21:16 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance
Sometimes Doms think they have open lines of communication but they truly dont. For example the last person I was considering dating, would simply pull back any type of contact whenever I would tell him something he didnt like subconsciously. He didnt know he was doing it but the effect was the same, I stopped telling him things he needed to know and the relationship died before it started.

quoted for truth.

ditto absolutely

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Post #: 89

RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/18/2011 10:04:24 AM

ResidentSadist

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. . . try waterboarding. I heard it works rather well.

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/18/2011 4:09:07 PM

kalikshama

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/snort/

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RE: Punishments for subby. - 1/18/2011 6:49:06 PM

XXMystiqueXX

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You didn't specify what your sub has done wrong so I can answer only in generalities. I enjoy thinking up creative, ~never want to repeat THAT one ~ type punishments. Obviously for a pain lover the last punishment they should receive (IMHO) is a spanking, whipping etc. Essays with numbered words are always a good one, cleaning My bathroom naked and kneeling is another good considering they get only a small rag and a mini scrub brush, probably My harshest punishment is lack of attention/affection. If we are not 24/7 then I decide which days that week we will NOT be spending our regular time together. <<<I will admit that one is as hard on Me as it was on My boy>>>

~~not new to CM. Just a new name to protect the NOT so innocent~~

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Post #: 92