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How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 2:54:55 PM   
Tdmstr


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/30/2010
Status: offline 		Not everyone grows up in bdsm lifestyle. So how did you, your partner, or friends find it, and actually do it real life? Curious on the routes others took to get there...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 3:44:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You do it by finding someone who wants to do it with you. Some of us met our partners online, some on a kink site, some on a vanilla site. Others meet in their local community. But I would imagine most people simply date, and when it looks like the relationship may progress to sex, they then tell the other person what it is they like and ask if the other person is interested.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Tdmstr)
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RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 3:59:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~ Fast Reply ~

I was formally introduced to it by a friend I was sleeping with. After our short fling, I began attending various BDSM functions, playing and talking with who intrigued me.

Really, you can get into this just about however feels right for you. I don't think you have to have a partner in crime - so to speak, or someone mentoring you. Just an honest desire to learn and the determination to keep asking questions. In addition there a number of respectable books written on the subject (not erotica/porn) that can help a person out.

YMMV

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:00:27 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Actually was fooling around with a guy I dated way back, he asekd if he could tie me up, things were pretty steamy so I thought "Why not?" and after 10 minutes suggested we swap roles as I got some ideas and due to having done a bit of sailing also good with tying knots... I was rather surprised that he jumped up and down and yelled something like "My luck came in" or such, I was a bit surprised, only later I learned that apparently women who are into tying guys up and torturing them are a bit rare, those girls don't know what they are missing....

Anyway, it went from there ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:13:07 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		I had always been interested in the idea of BDSM.  I had always known that pain pleased me, and that being essentially helpless pleased me even more.  Knowing those two things, it was actually quite easy.
Giving positive responses when boy/girlfriends tried to get rough with me, doing things for the people I cared about...usual stuff, really.
I did not actively start getting involved until I was an adult.  I read a few books, tried some stuff out with the then-boyfriend, made some friends in the local scene, tried out more stuff, and so on and so forth, and here I am!


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Rose-y Pose-y, Puddin' Pie. Kissed Some Dommes and Made Them Cry.

(in reply to Tdmstr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:13:08 PM   
ramzaruglia


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/2/2011
Status: offline 		As of my case, I got turned on by it when I watched a Japanese hentai movie for the first time, that was 15 years back. The idea of tying someone(especially a girl), and gaining control of her being is really a big turn on for me.

After that, I researched more about the topic and it took me to BDSM. There are some delays for my intense studying about the matter but now I'm getting on the track again, reviewing the books about it online. And lurking to websites like this....


< Message edited by ramzaruglia -- 1/5/2011 4:17:45 PM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:18:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Oh hentai... Turning BDSMers into catgirls one X-rated amine at a time. XD

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ramzaruglia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:18:33 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		My then husband was looking for a cock ring, we went into a fetish store, I said, ooooo, this looks like fun, started googling, joined a local group, bought some books, attended munches and events, started practicing, and the rest is history.

(in reply to Tdmstr)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:22:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Truthfully, My first boy knelt in front of Me and asked Me to be his Mistress.  Like with everything else, I was curious.  From that point on, I was introduced to the lifestyle.  I became very quickly aware that I didn't know anything about being a Mistress to anyone.  It was definitely a learning process.

Don't think it was just as easy as that.  When I say I was introduced, that meant that I went to the munches and gatherings.  I read the books that were suggested to Me to read.  I learned how to make the connections, get on the phone lists, and how to get the invites.  Made the trips to attend the events. 

I didn't take to sadism until some time later and did the whole process again.  That time around, it was a little easier because I already knew a lot of folks.  People were already acquainted with Me and My boy.  (Different one than the one I had started out with.)  It wasn't as big of a leap.

It's way easier now.  Books you can order from Amazon rather than go to the bookstore to order them and wait for them to come in.  Most munch groups have a listing somewhere on the internet, rather than having to have someone bring you for the first time.  Darn near every group has educational events and meet and greets.  All you have to do is take the initiative and go.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/5/2011 4:24:00 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Tdmstr)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:55:58 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		Joke answer: I beat up many hookers in videogames.

Real answer: Ex-girlfriend and restraints.

Yep.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 4:59:16 PM   
ramzaruglia


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Oh hentai... Turning BDSMers into catgirls one X-rated amine at a time. XD


That's not true. xD LOL.

And it's "anime" not "amine". Now that's something to laugh about.... He-He-He-He =)

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 7:00:50 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Always walked a little on the darker side. When someone first told me I should look into bdsm I thought "whips and chains? No thank-you" ...and then I learned more.

I met my current partner online and now we live close

(in reply to ramzaruglia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 7:07:47 PM   
InsatiaBULL


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/13/2010
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		My desire to PRIORITIZE SEX in a lifelong, truly loving relationship, led me to explore the possibilities of BDSM vs vanilla.

Is not a relationship GROUNDED upon a mutually shared desire more likely to succeed long term, than a fleeting fancy?

_____________________________

"Beauty is to men as money is to women." - Marilyn Monroe

And all God's people said: "AMEN!"

(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 7:50:21 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I started checking into it while my marriage was in trouble. After it died, I joined alt and started meeting kinksters.  One became my sub and the two of us were welcomed with open arms (because she was very pretty).  After we broke up, I kept in touch with the scene somewhat, and then became much more active upon joining collarme.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to InsatiaBULL)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 8:19:48 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i was playing around with 2 ladies in col and they tied me up and put a blindfold on me. i was interested and so when i got stationed at ft sam i went to the nearest dungeon the sanctuary and started to go every weekend to Dallas and started to play. when i got to ft Gordon GA i met my Mistress and have been collared for over 3 years now

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 8:39:52 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Oh hentai... Turning BDSMers into catgirls one X-rated amine at a time. XD


That's not true. xD LOL.

And it's "anime" not "amine". Now that's something to laugh about.... He-He-He-He =)



Meh, I'm typing on an iPad while gaming. What do you want? ;-)

And we all know that catgirlism is a very contagious condition. It's scientific fact. xD

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ramzaruglia)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/5/2011 8:43:25 PM   
ramzaruglia


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/2/2011
Status: offline 		Well, I play old school games on my emulators.... LOL...

Well, catgirlism or "Neko-ism", yes it is popular and contagious, I sincerely admit that. But I'm not into it, maybe I developed an immunity for it.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/6/2011 1:19:48 AM   
CherryNeko


Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline
quote:

You do it by finding someone who wants to do it with you.

Then you miss it.

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to Tdmstr)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/6/2011 1:20:49 AM   
CherryNeko


Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline 		I love catgirlism, but it's kitty ears for me, NOT Catwoman outfits. I hate those.

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to ramzaruglia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How did you get into bdsm? - 1/6/2011 5:09:41 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CherryNeko

I love catgirlism, but it's kitty ears for me, NOT Catwoman outfits. I hate those.


HA, the other way around for me, the kitty ears don't come with single tails...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CherryNeko)
Profile   Post #: 20
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