How too? (Full Version)

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koejo1 -> How too? (1/6/2011 9:29:39 PM)

How do I send a master or a dom man a message on here. without saying something wrong. Im new to this. Meaning how should i approch their profile. Example. If I send someone message. and said damn you are cute and thats was all. i know that is bad. How do i send someone a message?? any idea's ?

Thanks.



AquaticSub -> RE: How too? (1/6/2011 9:37:59 PM)

MHO - Look at it as you would approaching someone in a coffee shop. Compliment them on something and talk a bit about their profile. Just know that, like in the coffee shop, they may converse with you or they may smile and go about their day.



CherryNeko -> RE: How too? (1/6/2011 10:02:59 PM)

Just relax, breathe, and try to be just like you are in reality. That way if there's a reply, you'll know it IS for the you inside, and if there's not, you won't be wasting time. Trying to be just as you are, even without thinking it much, makes you feel loyal to yourself, and comes out natural. You'll find you're smiling before you send it!

About saying 'hey, you're cute' and all that, well, if you thought that when you saw the profile, there's nothing wrong with saying it. Especially if you really want to. However try to say some other things. If you ONLY say that, it will be so weird.

Please check your message in order to correct any mistake, of any kind, that might have slipped. Especially spelling mistakes.

Say hi, say bye, say thank you... remember people will be spending time in reading your message, so might as well be polite since the beginning.

If I think of something else, I'll come back.

Good luck!



TheRaptorJesus -> RE: How too? (1/6/2011 11:53:02 PM)

Challenge them to engage you in fisticuffs to prove that they are truly dominant. 



Focus50 -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:17:26 AM)

Ask your mum or dad 'cause it really doesn't sound like you're ready to venture out into the world of grownups and adult lifestyle sites unsupervised, just yet....

Focus.



andy2111 -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:23:04 AM)

some of you guys are mean. That was a serious question.



sunshinemiss -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:37:39 AM)

You're question has no real answer except maybe "yeah, and?" or "Thanks" or "Why do I care what you think - I don't even know you."

If on the other hand you read their profile and then respond to something in it, you might get somewhere. Some random person says "you're cute" and it's nothing. However, a random person who actually tries to engage the other person.... well now that can be interactive.

Good luck,
sunshine



BonesFromAsh -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:42:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: andy2111

some of you guys are mean. That was a serious question.


And, for the most part, the OP recieved serious answers.

If he doesn't know how to approach someone he finds interesting, there are more issues than a group of online strangers can address.

*--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

OP, here's an example...using me as your test subject (yeah, I know, wrong demographic...just play along)...

Hi Bones,

I notice you have photography listed as one of your 'likes'. You also have some interesting photos posted.

I like the chair ones in particular. I enjoy shooting in B&W...do you know anything about Lightroom?

Please have a look at my profile, I've posted some of my work. I'd love to hear your opinion on them.

Best,
_______
*----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

This is an example of introduction email I actually recieved from a wonderfully interesting man here. It lead to sharing some amazing photos, a discussion of different techniques and an outstanding invitation to meet for tour of the MOMA.

Of course, this would require you have something of interest on you profile...something of substance....especially if you're looking.




sunshinemiss -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:43:27 AM)

*prances around*

I love the chair photo!

I know-ticed that you used "best" as your signature... ohhhh someone is emulating moi!!! I'm so powerful!!!!



BonesFromAsh -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:49:06 AM)

[sm=lastthing.gif]

*weg*



koejo1 -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:54:05 AM)

Well to let you guys know. Im usually very forward when i like someone i usually tell them right away.. So I told some guy on here is was hot and he told me that was not away to hit him up. He told me to post a forum on asking a master how I should I send a master a message. So I laughed a little and decided to post on here about asking how do I send someone a message on here..  In Public places like a bar im still straight up about it and guys seem to not care, But if you really care. Give me some idea's on sending a first email to someone...

Thanks[:D]
Joe



LadyPact -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 12:55:11 AM)

Mean for not responding seriously on how does a person write an email?????  Are people who are new to this site going to ask us to hold their hands next when they cross the street?  I'm betting that anyone by the age of eighteen (it IS an adult site) should know how to draft a correspondence.

There are literally scores of threads on this site, as well as other meeting sites on how to write an email.  This OP was referred to links to do so as well as instructed by the person that he wanted to contact. 

I'm betting the OP knows how to send polite emails on facebook.  I'm betting he knows how to introduce himself politely to people in real life away from the computer screen.  Why would anybody come here, ONLY HERE, and magically not know how to do this just because the people here happen to be kinky.

(I know.  He's contacting a man, but the basics still apply.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
It's not as hard as you'd think.  I watch specifically for messages that are some version of the following:

Three to four well written sentences, with one of those being a question related to something written in My profile.

The message isn't related to kink or sex.

From someone who followed what I said in My profile - Meaning that if I say local, I mean local. 

There are no naked pics, either sent as an attachment or a primary profile pic.  (Yes, all you submissives with the 'full moon' shot, I'm talking to you.  I don't want to see your ass before I see your face.)

Last but not least, they don't expect to be the exception to the rule.  (When people say no people outside a certain age range, location, no to certain kinks, no to poly, no to married, no to specific hard limits, weight, or anything that they specify......... If that's you, don't write.)



It's really not as hard to get a response as some males around here would like to make it out to be.






Next, I'll teach you how to cut your meat without putting your elbows on the table.




omkfY -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 1:24:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: andy2111

some of you guys are mean.


I know right? Fucking sadists...



DarkSteven -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 1:25:08 AM)

koejo, you live in Denver.  Contact a poster here named LanceHighes and ask him what the gay BDSM scene in Denver is like.

Back to the topic at hand.  I'd suggest instead of "You're cute", something like "I like the way you express yourself on the forums" (if they post) or "<This> in your profile intrigued me."

Edited to add:  I just read your intro and that WAS Lance that you pissed off!

Saying "you're cute" is a bit disrespectful to a Dom.  And it falls on them to pick up the entire conversation after that ud that's ALL you say.  Try asking them where the scene is, what they think of The Sanctuary for gays, etc.



crazyml -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 2:03:01 AM)

Yeah, but Lance is cute... in a super domly way of course.

<just sayin>

[Ed to add "in a domly..."



crazyml -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 2:10:32 AM)

Hey there,

I think that the best advice I can give is that if you think person "X" is hawt, there's a likelihood that others will do to.

While Male doms in general (regardless of orientation) don't get the volume of mail that Females (of either side of the kneel) do, you're still essentially competing for that person's attention.

Simply saying "You're cute" tells the sender nothing about you (except perhaps that you're shallow!) and doesn't give any impression that you've thought about the potential for the two of you to be compatible beyond the fact that you think he's hawt.

So look at the post by BonesFromAsh... fabulous suggestion.

The key is to figure out what it is about their profile that makes you think there might be a connection beyond the merely physical, and to identify and share the things about you that might make them feel the same.

I know this sounds a bit like a "job interview", but in some senses...

[Ed to remove a grocer's apostrophe... mortified]



koejo1 -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 2:13:39 AM)

Well thank you crazyml I apperciate the help.. Problem solved...

Thanks to everyone else who has helped me and Thanks to the funny mean ones tooo. You guys put a smile on my face.


Best of luck to all of you's
Koejo1 [:)]



koejo1 -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 2:16:21 AM)

CASE IS CLOSED!!!

HEHE..



sunshinemiss -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 2:37:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Hey there,

I think that the best advice I can give is that if you think person "X" is hawt, there's a likelihood that others will do to.



For the record, ML, some of the gals have been known to make comments about you in such a vein. Yes, I eavesdropped. Shameful, I know.

sunshine



DesFIP -> RE: How too? (1/7/2011 6:01:44 AM)

Having read your intro post, op, all I can say is wow.
Actually if that was an example of your conversational skills, then it isn't your first email that you need to worry about, but all the follow up ones which get more and more abusive.



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