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new to the domme - 5/1/2006 11:32:08 AM

MsJennifer0814

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Joined: 5/1/2006
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Hello,
I have recently started a new relationship with a sub and am very new to this myself. This is my first relationship in this lifestyle but am all a go with it. I was wondering what is a typical light session and a typical moderate session. My sub has been very informative but I wanted to ask a true mistress on what those two typres of seesions may entail. looking forward to your responses.
MsJennifer

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RE: new to the domme - 5/1/2006 11:59:09 AM

WeeIttyBitty

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Its upto you and your partner, both of you have constraints on time & energy, that will determine what your able or willing todo at any given time.

The only way to figure this out, is experiment and find what works for both of you... A little flogging or over the knee with a hairbrush (or paddle) maybe a light-ish session or making him cook dinner and serve like waiter/buttler may work.

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RE: new to the domme - 5/1/2006 12:31:58 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
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Something you'll probably hear a lot getting into this lifestyle is:
"It depends on you and your partner."

This is a HUGE lifestyle with TONS of different aspects. Even when people have tried to condense the lifestyle down into a checklist of various activities, they still find themselves looking at a list several pages long.
A "light" scene to one person, might make another queasy. One person might refer to a "scene" as one thing, and another might call it a way of life. One suggestion is to narrow your scope at first to one or two things that interest you and your partner and try those before moving on. Others suggest getting to know others in the lifestyle first, and attending munches, seminars, and workshops. Some agree that safety techniques and consensuality should be clearly defined before going forward. Some like formal training for both partners before acting out fantasies.

The feedback you will get on any given topic in this lifestyle will be as varied as the people who do what it is we do. The more broad and general your questions, the more varied and diverse the answers. There are no right and wrong answers, only suggestions for what has worked for others.

My personal advice for a "light" session, would vary depending on what you define as a session. Are you looking for sadomasochistic activities with pain? Are you looking for hot kinky sex activities? Are you wanting to try role-playing? Are you interested in testing the waters for power exchange dynamics? Suggestions as to what you might want to try, depends a lot on what your objective is. If you and your partner are interested in power exchange dynamics outside the bedroom, we could sit here all day long and tell you which kinds of paddles and sex toys we'd suggest and that isn't going to help you & your partner out one bit. (Which leaves us looking horny and you feeling discouraged.)

With that being said, my advice would be to more specifically identify what it is you and your partner are wanting to explore. Then seek out information on that particular aspect. In the process of learning that activity, you'll also start hearing a lot of different other activities. Some will pique your interest. Others will not. The forums here at collarme are a good place to do that. There are also lots of websites out there. Your town (or a nearby larger city) probably has some sort of local group. And there is a plethora of good books out there about the lifestyle. (From my experience here, I've seen Tammyjo to be an excellent resource for pinpointing particular lifestyle books that are beneficial to particular interests, and hopefully she will chime in for you.)

You and your partner have ventured in to a very unique lifestyle full of some wonderful (and some not so grand) people and activities. I think it's great that you are doing this as a team and wish you the best of luck in what potentially can be a very exciting and fulfilling journey together.
Welcome to the boards and keep posting!

< Message edited by Proprietrix -- 5/1/2006 12:32:55 PM >

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

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RE: new to the domme - 5/1/2006 9:26:20 PM

MsJennifer0814

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Thank you for the advice proprietrix.
i will keep on searching and discovering what it is that will make this a good experience for me and my sub.

Ms Jennifer

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RE: new to the domme - 5/1/2006 10:16:00 PM

theRose4U

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Most books by John Warren are useful and you'll see him lurking here from time to time. Mistress Abernathy's slave training manual was useful for my last boy. SM101 was a little different than I like but had it's informative sections.

As for light and medium sections it all kind of depends on what you're into Proprietrix pretty much laid it out for you. Light I prefer hair brushes, paddles and cotton rope bondage where there is some give and take. Wrists tied around a post so that arms can move as I please can be fun. Most people would call this less than an appitizer...I call it breakfast. There is a saying that you'll become well aquainted with, your kink is not my kink. What works well for one couple is not what works for another. Learning your own limits, setting your own rituals, having your own fun is what it's all about.

Pervables are a good and inexpensive way to start. If you see something in a regular store and go humm I wonder what that feels like (spatulas, ping pong paddles, different kinds of rope, brushes)then try it. Some of my favorite toys started out in the housewares section. Just be careful that you don't leave the large chip clips on the balls too long, the teeth start to cut in and leave unintentional marks.The only limits in the perv world are the limits of your own imagination.

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RE: new to the domme - 5/2/2006 10:05:18 AM

MsJennifer0814

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Thank you all for all the inforamtion. There is definately alot out there. I appreciate you all for helping me in getting started.

Ms Jennifer

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