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RE: Body Modification - 5/1/2006 9:17:47 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

At what point durring the relationship, is it viable for the Dominant to demand body modification?
 
i'm not talking drastic changes.  i'm talking about things like shaving the pubis, hair cuts, asking the submissive to lose weight?


There is a pretty big diffrence between  telling you to shave and telling you to lose weight.     The very fist  day I was with my Top He   set  down some of the rules. Such as  when I come to Him I will be shaved.  Over time and as a relationship deepens I can see more   rules set out. It also comes  down to the type of relationship it is.
D/s structure and a Master slave relationship  or even casual play partners can make a big diffrence on how and when it is appropriate to start with  body modification, such as persons, brandings, cuttings and the such.


denika

(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Body Modification - 5/1/2006 10:31:47 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

At what point durring the relationship, is it viable for the Dominant to demand body modification?
 
i'm not talking drastic changes.  i'm talking about things like shaving the pubis, hair cuts, asking the submissive to lose weight?


I personally think that these are things that should be discussed before collaring. The reality is many don't "expect" a dominate to take control of those things. The other issue is as far as some body modifications well those are very personal things and if someone has an issue with them or a certain taste regarding them why not be upfront. I mean if you like shaved genitals why not say "If you take my collar I want your genital area shaved." or "If you take my collar I expect you to work out 3xs a week , stay on a strict deit , and loose that belly your showing off."
 
I know personally before I took Phoenix's collar him and I used to play Q and A game. We asked each other any question we liked and we had to anwer honestly.
 
Silly perhaps but it was an fun and relaxing way to ask blunt questions that we always didn't know how to ask and more importantly it worked for us.
 
Nika{Phoenix}




_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Body Modification - 5/1/2006 11:14:00 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		~nods to Nika~ 
 
Well, that sounds like fun.  i, personally tend to talk my Dominant's ear off...so these things are discussed.  Plus, it helps to define the level of relationship you are at. 
 
(A good  measuring stick for this analysis is in Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns when it talks about levels of Dominant and submission...i believe there are 5)

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Body Modification - 5/1/2006 11:29:47 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		from thr start the potential slave will be iunformed that I will shave her pubes myself and that at some stage she will have a brand tattood on her (untill I get the scalple and cauterisation and ink thing perfected)... Essentiually she will be under no illusions what I expect and what will happen to her..... Hair cuts? I like long hair but can compromise if needs be if the reasons are compelling enough (like her occupation).. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 12:10:13 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

At what point durring the relationship, is it viable for the Dominant to demand body modification?
 
i'm not talking drastic changes.  i'm talking about things like shaving the pubis, hair cuts, asking the submissive to lose weight?


in my opinion, it entirely depends on the relationship.  with one partner/relationship i would not until far into it or maybe not at all... another it may start the very first day.  it depends on the nature of the dynamic (or what direction i want to take it), orientation of my partner and the chemistry between us.

vague answer, admittedly, but as accurate as i can give as it does vary so very much.

(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 12:18:47 AM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		Iron Bear,

How long would you wait after someone was collared to your home before she was branded with the house tattoo?

Curiously

Nika{Phoenix}

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 12:27:03 AM   
apb


Posts: 103
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with you Rumpus ... like many things it entirely depends on the relationship and the interests and desires of those in it.

I came in to my D/s relationship with tattoos and piercings (something we already had in common).  This week I will be getting a tattoo that will depict my interest in the lifestyle and will work MissTress's name and her name for me in to it ...  But this is our choice.  I am also looking forward to being collared.  We have a matching piercing and a matching tattoo already.

As a submissive I truly believe that I would want to do whatever my MissTress wanted me to ....


_____________________________

~ apb

"This is who I am - you can like it or not. You can love me or leave me 'cos I'm never gonna' stop."
~ Madonna

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 10:00:22 PM   
SirGabriel


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/1/2004
Status: offline 		So much negotiation...lol. I can only share what I and my babygirl have done. I have always expected her to be what I want, even from the beginning. But I have never wanted what she is not ready for. How do I know? I know her. I make comments and see how she reacts. She is always willing to do what I wish, but I want her to WANT it. She won't always tell me, she is so anxious to please, so it is my job to know when she is ready. For example, when I wanted her to shave her pubic area completely, I ran my hand over her body admiring and commenting on how smooth her skin is, but never went between her legs. That was putting the idea in her head. After awhile I did not demand, I simply said, "Its time to shave you" And I did, and she was happy genuinly, not just happy because I was. You see, the key is for the submissive to be happy in her heart not just her head. If a dominant wants something, he needs to plant a seed that she doesnt even see.  Then he needs to watch her, be in tune always, and know when the right time is. I wanted her tatooed as soon as I collared her, but I knew she wasn't ready. That was 3 years ago. Last march she got that tattoo, I knew she was ready, I knew her heart. So I didnt' even ask, we just went and got it done. Same with her name, I renamed her, legally, when she was ready.

So I guess my answer is if the dominant KNOWS his/her submissive, and is in a long-term relationship, he has a right to expect body modifications whenever he knows she is ready, even if she doesn't think she's ready, its HIS job to know.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 10:10:26 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		To some a demand to cut hair would be drastic. I have nearly ass length hair and it certainly took longer to grow than most relationships I have had...lol. I have not had it professionally cut since I was 24. But as for the rest of it I do not think it is out of line to ask for simple modification.

Doms and subs should discuss the dynamic of their relationship before they embark upon it. I have a limit with my hair, it does not get cut for ANYBODY...lol. If a dominant does not like this limit he can look elsewhere. If I am his property my hair is his to play with as he likes as long as it remains upon my head.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 10:20:36 PM   
SilverKiss


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm, I would only do edits to my body if I saw the need or I get and honest thought out reason on why its needed I don't do things just for the hell of it. Plus I am not a sub.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 11:11:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't do things for the hell of it, either. 

(in reply to SilverKiss)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Body Modification - 5/2/2006 11:46:33 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

OP, that is a hollow question.  The other person has only as much power as is given to them.  You can demand anything you want whenever it strikes your fancy.  It's up to the one being issued the demand to decide if they will go along with it or not.

- Dustyn



HAR!  I see someone is on the same wavelength - Too funny!



 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Body Modification - 5/3/2006 3:51:56 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa

How long would you wait after someone was collared to your home before she was branded with the house tattoo?



This question was directed to IronBear yet i am adding my two cents.

That for me from a slave’s point of view would depend on the intensity of the relationship. My first "property of" went on the day after i met my previous Master, we were together 18 years.

My current tattoo was just done last night, approximately three months after i was collared. To be honest i would also have accepted this one immediately. Call it a sixth sense or something, i just KNOW if it right or not at the first meeting.

My new ink is a double headed phoenix. Master and Mistress have one half each of this phoenix so that when they stand side by side it makes a whole. As i am collared to both i have the entire phoenix with each head watching over me from each direction.

On a personal note; I LOVE YOU TWO!!!!      



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Body Modification - 5/3/2006 7:02:52 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Reasonable

That would depend on if I owned her or not-I have a bit of my own to run off too-I'd do it alongside of her.

I guess i owe you an apology there. I'm sorry for judgement - it's not like me.

Maybe my 'blubber' made me a little sensitive on this one.
You ever need a running partner let me know or maybe we cud just make that a brisk walk lol.

-------------------------
If this was meant to be,
Don't condemn me to be free.
Something - Shakira.

(in reply to Reasonable)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Body Modification - 5/3/2006 11:24:25 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		Sounds beautiful.
Since the day Phoenix placed his collar on we have been discussing me getting another tattoo. One that signifies him. I have my childrens names on each shoulder I would love to get a pheonix down my spine right in the middle of both names.
 
Phoenix's Nika

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Body Modification - 5/3/2006 4:48:50 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		[Tahoma}I tend to do a lot of talking with people I am involved with, whether they are family or friends or people who come to me for my services or submissives.  In talking with a submissive that I have become interested in, naturally D/s and BDSM get discussed quite a bit.  My opinions on various topics within D/s come out and in this manner, the submissive becomes aware of what I like and don't like.  I happen to like a shaved pubic area.  If she chooses to come to me for our first time together with a shaved pubis because she thinks it will please me, that is her choice.  Given that I have no problem playing with a submissive without her being collared to me (that whole idea of courtship and exploration and getting to know each other so that the relationship either grows or does not (I know; makes me kind of an oddity in some D/s circles), I also have no problem requesting that she do something for me.  I do understand however...as does she...that while for some, domination and submission must be full with all power exchanged immediately (and that works for them), for me there does not have to be this full domination/submission immediately.  I also understand that for some submissives, certain body modifications will always be a "no"...a hard limit.  Since I believe that everyone has a right to limits, no matter the depth of the relationship, that works for me.


(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Body Modification - 5/3/2006 5:17:00 PM   
Areflectionofyou


Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		As soon as i gave him the control in the relationship it became his right to choose how his slave is kept. He knows i am losing weight(hate dieting) and he is willing to help his slave. He chose more piercings and wider guages ...again his choice. Lastly he will tattoo his property. These happen when you give up control and turn it over to your owner. i am property, his slave, not his submissive with limits. His limits are his propertys limits.

(in reply to genvieve)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Body Modification - 5/9/2006 3:21:45 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

...Given that I have no problem playing with a submissive without her being collared to me (that whole idea of courtship and exploration and getting to know each other so that the relationship either grows or does not (I know; makes me kind of an oddity in some D/s circles)), I also have no problem requesting that she do something for me.  I do understand however...as does she...that while for some, domination and submission must be full with all power exchanged immediately (and that works for them), for me there does not have to be this full domination/ submission immediately. ...


Gee...isn't that just like real life?  It absolutely amazes me how many who come to this 'lifestyle' think a girl drops to her knees for any Dominant who tells her so.  I am respectful, but I have a brain and I use it. No 'real/true' Dominant that I know is remotely interested in collaring a girl he's just met.  We're adults, here...who'd WANT someone under (or over) them when they didn't even KNOW the person?

Yup, I'm all about The Power Exchange...but things have to warm up slowly (for me).  I don't hit motels on first dates, but I personally think 'kicking tires' down the line is a really good idea.  For me, collaring is more important than getting married; who gets married on a first date???

Perhaps I'm back to 'everything being relative'.  I'd be tickled pink to 'exchange power' with my new guy'...but I'm quite sure we wouldn't do some of the more edgy stuff that first time either; yanno? 

Personally, I find this responsible, not odd!  ...but that's just me.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 38
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