VaguelyCurious
Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
I'll admit perhaps my lesser familiarity with such meetings might be affecting the perception (and the ones I have attended were almost exclusively when I was partnered), but I find humans tend to (for the most part) create comfort groups and cliques in any locational grouping.
This is true, but at most of the munches I've been to there's also a strong 'welcome the newbie' vibe that plain doesn't exist online - there are designated meeters'n'greeters on the lookout for people who need to be introduced around, and there's often a party atmosphere that makes people feel good (and good about each *other*). I challenge you to type 'the profile side of collarme has a party atmosphere that makes people feel good' with a straight face.
quote:
I think munches and meetings are great for people who have done the whole "passively looking for someone" thing, and can enjoy the prospect of meeting cool people and have that be a benefit on its own, but those don't strike me as the kind of people who starts the threads the OP was talking about.
See, I've been thinking of the OP (both as in the post itself and as in the original poster's follow-up comments) as dealing with people who are scared to go to munches, rather than those with fuck-all in terms of social skills. And if you've got social skills you can hook up pretty fast (or at least you can among the people I know). Certainly it doesn't take more time than scrolling through profiles, writing first contact messages, making someone comfortable enough to meet you, meeting them for coffee, meeting them for coffee again... and then hooking up.
quote:
ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I think human skepticism tends to filter across all methods of interaction. Perhaps you're correct, though, in terms of how people tend to generally treat online interaction as "less real" than face-to-face (as if the sort of people who are prone to engage in certain facades would not have them irl as well).
Not just that, though. If I open my inbox and there are ten emails from randoms in it then I'm scanning through them in a hurry to get to the end. But I can quite easily meet ten people at a munch and give them my full attention for a while. It's not that they're more real, it's that the next one isn't standing over their shoulder with their arms crossed, shouting 'talk to me! talk to me! talk to meeeeeee!' like the little red button at the bottom of my screen does.
quote:
I still think a good chunk of this can come down to extroversion/introversion (and not in a purely polar sense of extremes, but the full spectrum of how outgoing someone is in a social setting). some people are great conversationalists and icebreakers but, after a while, don't really have a whole lot to say and some people are not great at beginning conversations but are good talkers and listeners with people they've already met and developed a certain comfort with.
Sure. Online I just don't have the energy to get to that place with the introverts, though, so they'd probably do better with me IRL too.  People still need to ice-break online; that's why we have an introductions section on the forum, that's why people put so much thought into first messages... that social nicety doesn't really go away just because this is the internet.
quote:
This probably rings true. Even in situation where people are rather poor at irl conversation, basic human pheromones and chemistry is often able to transcend that when two people just seem to click, and it probably is easier to get that reaction in person (although I think the process is psychological, and of projected expectations which, in that sense, can happen no matter what way we meet someone...but irl is probably more likely to be a breeding ground for that).
This is a whole different thread. And I'm not sure it's one my knowledge of psychology and biology will be adequate for, so I'm going to pass. Or poke my significant other with a stick until she agrees to come have this argument with you for me.
quote:
Fair enough (I'd describe myself as rather tactile as well). But even that involves developing an initial degree of comfort, no? I mean, I'd chuckle warmly at an overtly friends person going around sniffing and hugging everyone... ;)
You mean if you're chatting to someone at a munch and you like them on a friend level you don't hug them goodbye? 
You say that and it sounds reasonable, but in reality nobody laughs at me for being touchy-feely (or at least, not where I can hear them). And you don't have to sniff overtly to know if someone smells good...
quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
It's a hell of a lot of work to find that out from someone you're talking to on the internet
Well, we are talking about people who plan on translating their online meetings into irl ones, yes? Eventually, people figure that out.
That was supposed to be fairly tongue in cheek (hence the smiley). But what if 'eventually' isn't good enough? What if those physical/chemical things are your priority, or at least a major priority?
_____________________________
Sthetic on FetLife.
|
RE: So you want to find a Mistress (or slave).... - 
I have met people in my state, some from Colorado and have been out and about when I could be. I am not real interested in groups, but individuals, I am. I have had visitors in my home and have entertained so to speak. I don't advertise it most of the time. 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread