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Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Fighting (5/2/2006 1:09:20 AM)
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I dont like dramatics, they unsettle me with anyone.
Fights with my Dom, god they are dreadful and my need to make everything all right again, makes me pushy for resolution, when i should give space.
No relationship is going to be a bed of roses all the time, a bdsm relationship is no different to a vanilla one. But i do believe that the effect on a submissive, are perhaps more penetrating than on the vanilla partners in life.
If he's in the wrong, and i definately know it, and i cant submit, ill safe word out with a particular safe word saved for such occasions. The consequence of using this word is usually everything stops, we take a break from the issue, usually a day. And then we communicate again, when the feelings have had a chance to settle.
Sometimes, im not that verbally articulate, so i will email him my concerns. And sometimes he'll respond via email or verbal. But there is always a face to face indepth talk of what is really going on.
I would in your case, seek permission tomorrow, to speak freely. If this is given, REMEMBERING that you are his submissive, discuss what it is that is bothering you. Put your case forward objectively and as consicely as you can. Talk, talk talk.
If you feel your anger rising, control it. Because it will sabotage you getting to where you both need to be.
If at the end of the day you still do not see eye to eye. Then you will have to either submit to what you have agreed to, His will, or renegotiate a limit, or get out of the relationship. Depends what you mean by 'a few important things'. Important to who, why etc.
Sorry your feeling so blue. Its far worse to be at odds with a Dom/me, than i have ever found it with a vanilla partner.
I wish you both a speedy resolution.
little1
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