RE: bondage in public (Full Version)

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farmlandsub -> RE: bondage in public (4/14/2007 11:26:18 AM)

Maam and i went to a movie one evening. In the movie i pulled out of my pocket my training collar and placed it in Her hand that was holding my hand. Much to my surprise She placed the collar on my wrist. It is a dog collar so it wrapped around my wrist twice, but i was proud to wear it out of the movie theater as we walked to the car.



Celeste43 -> RE: bondage in public (4/14/2007 12:46:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet

obey your master if he wants you naked and  on leash you said yes master


Only if you agreed ahead of time to be arrested as a sex offender, to be unable to get a job, live anywhere near minors etc. Of course, in this case he should have agreed to pay the lawyers, and provide a home and support for you as long as you may live, even if he releases you after two weeks.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: bondage in public (4/14/2007 8:17:47 PM)

I can see where naked on a leash could easily get someone arrested and I agree with the why as well. But the OP didn't say anything about being naked. And on that note, I stand by what I said earlier... wear the leash, collar, cuffs... whatever, so long as everything that legally HAS to be covered is.
 
Now, before you state that people should be allowed to run around nekkid if that's what their dominant wants... take a look around you, out of all of the people you see how many of them do you really want to see naked? For me, that's just way more then I want to know about my neighbors.
 
Jewel



tulipgoose -> RE: bondage in public (4/14/2007 8:35:52 PM)

Personally, I believe that anything that is obviously out of the ordinary to the general public is potentially being "rude" toward that public. Things like collars and cuffs are a bit much unless discreet and tasteful, which some can be.

For example, I have a family member that if saw any of those types of things would have something like a panic attack. She just wouldn't "get" it... and would be extremely confused and scared. Then, when children are around it is just even more of a NO NO!

Something I heard - actually in a writing class - which I feel is important in all aspects of life: "Remember your audience." - Now, I understand everyone likes to have this whole attitude of "If you don't like me then that's your problem" but.... why force them to see something like this? Maybe they DO need to be walking down that very street at that very time. They should not NEED to see anything that may offend them.

Now... if you are at a play party, or in lifestyle-friendly setting, wear proudly and boldly! Make adjustments to things for public wearing...... build a discreet wardrobe which will please your Master but not scare the general public. After all it is not what you wear that he should care about in owning you, but your actions and acceptance of being owned by him which can be symbolized in ways other than sexually explicit graffiti (which it can tend to become in the wrong places). Again, remember your audience.... as much as you may be able to block them out they may not always be able to block you out.



grlneedstolearn -> RE: bondage in public (4/14/2007 9:38:03 PM)

i think that people should be more accepting of this lifestyle. It is just like any other lifestyle. Many people might argue that it is centered around sex. Not necessarily. my relationship with my Dom is not based on sex. It's based on a power exchange. i think that people aren't accepting of the lifestyle because they don't know or understand it so they're afraid of it. i don't think this is going to be changing anytime soon. Especially considering how the lifestyle is portrayed in the media.

If someone wants to go out in slave attire, i say go ahead. It might turn heads but it's who you are. The more people see it, the more comfortable they will become with it. Seeing you in slave attire is no different than seeing a guy with spiked purple hair and lots of piercings. The reaction will be the same.

i will still shop at Hot Topic for different clothing, and yes i even get some stares when i go in by others, but oh well. Also i attempted at telling my parents, who still don't understand it so i dropped it and now i hide my toys from them. i don't bring it up unless my closest friends who knows about me and the lifestyle wants to see how i'm doing or has other questions regarding it. Otherwise no i don't publicly announce it.



whipingherfeet -> RE: bondage in public (4/16/2007 5:16:46 AM)

if your a slave  you should obey



Celeste43 -> RE: bondage in public (4/16/2007 5:22:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet

if your a slave  you should obey


One, I never said I am a slave
Two, I'm a mother and that trumps slave. And being arrested and having my family forcibly removed is not an option
And three, he doesn't want mindless obedience. He wants an intelligent partner who is not afraid of speaking her own mind. And pointing out to him possible consequences that he may not have thought of.

Oh yes, four. Whipping is spelled with two p's, not one. This is an extremely important item, please note it.



favesclava -> RE: bondage in public (4/16/2007 5:39:36 AM)

how could a master not know that such a thing  might do you harm? your well being should be at the top of  his list
thats the trust that makes me obey him without  even a first thought.i do speak but he has already thought of all tangients. 
i wear a public collar thats a silver circle with adj chain clasp. but if he wanted to attach a collar while we were out i would not be ashamed.
of course he wouldnt do it near schools or in front of my children. thats just common sense in this day and age.but thats just us. whatever floats everybody elses's boat.



OsideGirl -> RE: bondage in public (4/16/2007 7:25:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet

if your a slave  you should obey


My first rule of BDSM is "Do no harm". The potential for harm in this situation are huge. Including to someone who hasn't agreed to be a "slave" or be included in your role playing game. Your "obeying" doesn't trump being a good human being.






whipingherfeet -> RE: bondage in public (4/19/2007 5:22:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet

if your a slave  you should obey


My first rule of BDSM is "Do no harm". The potential for harm in this situation are huge. Including to someone who hasn't agreed to be a "slave" or be included in your role playing game. Your "obeying" doesn't trump being a good human bein
first rule isobey second rule is see rule one



sweetstorm -> RE: bondage in public (4/19/2007 6:32:25 AM)

*sigh*

Can I just say that I think that situations that vanillas may be put into because of this scenario are what give BDSM a bad stigma in the first place?



crouchingtigress -> RE: bondage in public (4/19/2007 7:26:16 AM)

its so NOT cool.

BDSM is scary, ithe idea of slavery is offensive and scary even to adults...

there is simply no reason to take your sexual thrills and put them in total non-concenting adults faces....other then your own selfish egotisical needs.



jaymckenas -> RE: bondage in public (4/19/2007 4:33:29 PM)

quote:

I've seen it in public, but then again, it was New York City.....

So, if you're not living there.... : )

good luck,

rain


Lol. Agreed, there isn't very much of anything that you can't see in NYC. :P

Just adding my two cents to this thread, I agree with the sentiment that if it is in a contained setting where you know for a fact it won't be affecting the surrounding community in an adverse manner; then, while personally I would still have my reservations, it would be more acceptable. I believe it was mentioned that if this was a specific fetish group it would be acceptable, I agree with that sentiment, but if this is to take place in the general public where children and non-lifestylers would be easily subjected to it, I take issue with the general idea. Then again that's just my humble opinion, and I confess I don't have as much experience as many others on this site.

Apologies for not really adding anything new to the discussion but just affirming my agreement with others who have posted before me. Best wishes to all.

Cheers,

Jayson



Erostyle -> RE: bondage in public (2/26/2008 6:18:25 PM)

I am new here (to the lifestyle as well, at least interactively) and just reading this even though it has been ongoing for several years. I have always been under the impression that doing anything that could be concieved as offensive to the public eye should be avoided on the grounds it's bad for the lifestyle in general. Gay men don't fuck in public because if they did they would be less well accepted. This may include being seen in front of children, adults, etc. but it is a consideration of what is appropriate, acceptable or at the very least legally not infringing on anothers rights in a given situation. I will give several examples:

A vanilla friends wedding and you show up with your slave in an outfit that is fetish like.

I am not religous at all but church.

The middle of a shopping center.

The first is unacceptable as a friend to this person and their wishes for a specail day you just fucked up. The second is inappropriate while not to a partiular person but to the situation as a whole. The first two examples have a certain amount of respect for the person/people involved to not be an asshole. Assume for a second that there are not children at any of these events by pure chance. You still would not have the right to be overly offensive there. The first reason is that they are all privately owned places (ie. not the street). If I decide I don't like a business I can not put a pile of shit on my head and sit in their lobby so people are nausiated to the point of not entering. I can not scream fire in a crowded theatre is probably the most commonly used argument for you have freedom in as far as it doesn't infrindge on anothers freedom.

So that pretty much leaves the street/beach/etc. as your only possible outlet. I have heard of people taking their "puppys" to the dog beach. While I guess this isn't legally wrong it does seem in rather pour taste. If I were with my real dog at the beach I wouldn't want some people playing out their fantasies there even though I am a huge puppy/ponyplay fan. Just like I wouldn't want a vanilla couple having foreplay next to me on the beach (even though sometimes they do).


The places where it would seem somewhat acceptable would be places where excentric things are expected. If I am a full blown trans and I like wearing vinyl outfits, wearing one to a nightclub, excentric bar (they don't all have to be gay) certain cities or parts of cities (folsom fair, Las Vegas, red light district of Amsterdam) seems perfectly acceptable because it is expected that certain things will be seen there and if you don't want to see those things don't go there. Even most colleges seem like they would have the right kinds of parties that a watered down version of BDSM would be acceptable in. I know when I was at UF their were a lot of club parties that were either BDSM themed or would at least have been ok to attend as one. This seems to draw a moral line (although not a legal one) as to when the mother is responsible for being a bad parent walking her 6 year old through folsom and when an exhibitionist is being offensive to others walkign through the mall. I'm sure the line gets fuzzy somewhere in the middle but there are enough venues on either side of the continuum between tame and wild that you should never have any reason to violate another persons rights or have yours violated.

On a seperate note I think it would be healthy to have a fear of being persecuted or lashed out at if I did go somewhere BDSM wasn't appropriate because of the lack of acceptance. At a college party it would be a joke and college kids are very open about most things. In the wrong scenario you could get a bunch of homophobes who want to beat the living crap out of both of you. Just doesn't seem worth it.

I am new hear so I hope I am not stepping on too many toes and didn't offend too many people. These are just my opinions (most of it anyway). I also hope the guy who said "if you are a slave you shoud obey" was kidding. If not I would like to be his master so I could tell him to jump off a cliff. lol.



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