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MaamJay -> RE: new to this (1/19/2011 8:41:42 PM)
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Hi OP,
Start reading ... lots of books around, also try Mistress Steel's Chamber, and the albany power exchange is another good general website.
The answer to most of your questions is "what do YOU want him to do?" Do you want him to be a bedroom only (sex) slave? Or do you also like the idea of his being a service slave ie does housework as you train him you want it done, does the shopping etc etc? How much control are you willing and able to take over his life? How permanent a thing do you think this might be?
If you just want to start with some play, then consider things like:
1. having him strip and you giving him a "medical" inspection (make sure he folds his clothes neatly!)
2. light bondage (read up on how and what to watch out for) and shaving his pubes while he is tied (trust exercise!)
3. teaching him a specific greeting that you like ... or different ones for public and private meetings
4. teaching him different body positions and commands
5. teaching him to keep his eyes down (if that's what you prefer) or eyes on your face (if you prefer that as I do)
6. teaching him to never turn his back on you (ie he has to back out of rooms, NOT suitable for small cluttered places!)
7. making him ask every time he wants to go to the toilet
8. making him leave the door open when he does ie no bathroom privacy
9. making him ask for food and drink, better yet, make him ask you if you want something before he asks for himself
10. making him walk behind you when out (if you like that) or in front so you can keep an eye on him and he can part the crowd for you AND carry all the parcels
So there's 10 things you can do with minimal bdsm equipment and only a bit of research on your part. The rest is up to you! There's a couple of good threads on punishment over on the General board, read up on various opinions on that. Some have a punishment dynamic, others don't, or, like Me, reserve punishment only for serious crimes of wilful disobedience. Otherwise a teaching and correction dynamic operates. Some have a "funishment dynamic" where apparently small mistakes (real or imaginary) are used as a basis for impact play such as spanking or flogging. Others of us use those activities as a reward when they are enjoyed by both s and D! Read up a bit on spanking, can be done bare handed, a ruler is stingy, a hairbrush can be used with the flat back or the bristly bit, and My favourite is a nicely-shaped wooden spoon I bought for 50c at an op-shop! You don't have to make big money investments to get started.
Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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