RE: Re-homing

RE: Re-homing (Full Version)

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mnottertail -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 7:43:52 AM)
Consider me Pharoh. When I am transformed, the slave will go with me with mouth firmly planted on my genitalia, where I will come forever, in stiffyville. Selah.

LaTigresse -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 7:47:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I suddenly just pictured Sarah Palin, lost in the Sahara - ransomed for a small re-homing fee. I'd pay em to keep her. Where can I send my donation? As for the topic at hand.......... I understand why there is a knee jerk reaction to snark on the subject but as Sunny already said, there are some M/s relationship dynamics that I seriously can understand the need for some sort of planning. I believe there are a few regular forum participants that have such a relationship dynamic. It's certainly not for everyone and I would never want to insult the intelligence or ability of many s-types I've come to know. However, that does not invalidate the situations where it might actually be a realistic issue. Edited to add.........oh fuck me! I just read what I wrote above and felt like I was reading a transcript from some political speech. I am doomed.

MaxsGirl -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 7:49:56 AM)
Sometimes I wonder if there are really only a handful of people online who are involved in real life BDSM, and the rest are just quoting stories from ASSTR. Rehoming? Seriously? I'm a dog, and I still think that's ridiculous. I'm 30 years old for god's sake, if I need a new home I'll go rent myself an apartment.

mnottertail -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 7:51:11 AM)
Ta Da!!!! Self reliant re-homing. Or is it re-apartmenting? re-apartmentizing? apartheid? is there a separate word for that?

MaxsGirl -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 7:58:22 AM)
Re-apartmentalizing?

mnottertail -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 7:59:30 AM)
Hey, new words for fruity concepts, I am always saying. Again, I am Pharoh, what do I know?

LadyPact -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:00:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl Sometimes I wonder if there are really only a handful of people online who are involved in real life BDSM, and the rest are just quoting stories from ASSTR. Rehoming? Seriously? Oddly enough, the only time I've encountered this was from a M/s couple who didn't even have an online presence. The man passed away due to cancer several years ago. He knew that she was going to be lost as hell when the time was going to come that he was going to pass away. In their situation, it was probably the right decision. It was his way of loving her and seeing to it that she was taken care of. Maybe not everybody thinks that way, but in their case, it was the right thing to do. It wasn't a matter of just picking up and getting an apartment. It was about seeing that someone would be there for her with her grief and not just leave her with her life being completely ripped out from under her.

MaxsGirl -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:12:37 AM)
I had to think about that one for a minute LP, but I see your point. If a 24/7 couple has been together for a while, I suppose it's possible for the slave to reach a point where s/he would be lost without Master around. I can sympathize with that, because I already feel it happening to an extent in my relationship, and we haven't been together all that long. Especially in a case where the Master "leaves" in such a traumatic fashion, I can understand the slave needing some guidance to get through. But I think that depends more on personality than on it being an M/s situation - I can think of some vanilla couples that would benefit from having a helper set up for the more dependent partner in case of an emergency. Also, I get the feeling that the situation you describe is far different than what the OP means. I see "rehoming" as the OP describes as being more based in the kind of fantasy M/s that some people live online, where slaves are actually property that can be bought and sold, and are entirely dependent on their ultra domly owners for "protection" and the like. I could be wrong, but that's what the OP brings to mind. I'd be pretty lost without Alpha. If something happened to end our relationship, I'm sure I'd flounder a bit. But in the end, I'm an adult with a functioning brain and strong survival instinct, and I'd be able to pull myself up and move on if need be.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:18:07 AM)
i don't see "rehoming" as a totally silly thing in theory. when my M died, not only did i lose him, but i lost what seemed "normal" to me. familiar structure and routines. i felt like i was adrift on a paper raft that was sinking fast. i WISHED i'd had someone i knew who i could turn to who understood this part of me because no one in my life, other than M, did. =p i've seen people do this in a sense of "i'll be here for you and help you out so you can get back on your feet" -- i don't see it as a permanent ownership, though people are free to negotiate that -- it's their relationship and only affects them. but mostly when i've seen it, it has been more like the "under protection" scenario. people in the lifestyle like to give different "terms" to things that vanilla people do (how many people know widows who have gone to stay with others after their husbands died? it's not all that uncommon), and i think this is just another example. and note: berating people for their feelings about grief is pretty pathetic. M died in an accident right in front of my eyes, and i didn't cope with it well at all. i DID feel like i couldn't go on, i DID feel like i would waste away to nothing. i was pretty suicidal and wanted the whole world to go down in flames. but with the help of friends, i made it out. being snarky about grief is just ridiculous. you don't know what it is like until you've been there.

lally2 -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:18:44 AM)
im of the opinion its for those sub/slave types who possibly cannot function outside of a relationship and that it is more to do with being taken care of by someone (anyone) than being left alone and unable to function or find someone safely themselves.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:32:24 AM)
I don't think it is about the slave being unable to function on their own. The only situation I know of, was with a friend of mine. Her master had made arrangements that if anything were to happen to him, she was to go to another dominant that was a close personal friend of their family. In his mind, she was property (or a pet) the same way he would will his other property (or pets) to those he wished it to go to. As it turns out, all his planning didn't pan out. She was released back into the wilds, and is now with a new owner, and all without a re-homing fee.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 9:48:00 AM)
i am close to my Mistress and i would apreciate the effort in finding me a Domme to see that i do not fall into depression or worse.i would not see it as a new Master/Mistress but as a caring lifestyle individual to ease my transition in the lifestyle

coookie -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 9:54:44 AM)
I think that like many things in BDSM, the community likes to label things other than what they are the rest of the time. I think that it is important to have a support network to assist those who are left behind by a sudden loss of a loved one. I can see this being viable in that way. If while I am grieving someone wants to use me as a flower vase and fuck me upside down or what have you that may bother me a wee bit. If they are making sure I look after myself for a limited amount of time, that is helping.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 9:57:16 AM)
I can say, that in my friends case, I honestly thought it was a caring and loving consideration for her. To take someone into your home, demand that they not work, not earn income and devote themselves completely to your desires and needs without thought to their future if something happens to you - is pretty self-indulgent and careless of the well being of your property, IMHO. There's different ways of looking at it, of course. I do understand the other perspectives, I just understand this one as well. I guess I'm good at contemplating and accepting conflicting views on a situation.

Lockit -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 3:11:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Oddly enough, the only time I've encountered this was from a M/s couple who didn't even have an online presence. The man passed away due to cancer several years ago. He knew that she was going to be lost as hell when the time was going to come that he was going to pass away. In their situation, it was probably the right decision. It was his way of loving her and seeing to it that she was taken care of. Maybe not everybody thinks that way, but in their case, it was the right thing to do. It wasn't a matter of just picking up and getting an apartment. It was about seeing that someone would be there for her with her grief and not just leave her with her life being completely ripped out from under her. This. It is not that I don't think a submissive of mine couldn't function without me, because if they are a submissive of mine, they can take care of themselves and me. It is all about the grief, the changes, the feeling of being lost, alone and heartbroken. Anyone that has really loved me... has said it was hard to get over me and be with someone else and yet that spot I left was hellish for them. I don't want my man to suffer and yet at some point he will. Everyone at some point goes through this and I have thought about it all because it is a factor in my life and has to be addressed. Sure you can go through loss and grief and all will be well, but if you don't have to go through it alone and have a family so to speak... another who knows you and has been a part of your life, can make it easier. Those spankings that you missed and used to balance you... the time when you are so broken hearted and lonely that you might jump into something too soon to try and feel a little better... are reasons I made the choices I made and will again if I am ever involved again. Though I don't see this as re-homing... I do see it as loving my submissive so much that I don't want him to go through the loss of me, alone. He has some things that he can count on to help him through, with someone I have established something with and has accepted the place in his life, although temporary or at least seen that way at first. lol In fact, when I say I am open to a poly home, many are surprised that I am thinking poly for my submissive more than I think poly for myself. I enjoy poly, but I mostly think of it for whomever is involved with me... down the road when I am not what I am today.

Prinsexx -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 3:36:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I suddenly just pictured Sarah Palin, lost in the Sahara - ransomed for a small re-homing fee. The stuff that dreams are made of.

CaringandReal -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 3:44:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: preytolife I was told that it applies to some of the harder-line slaves. The ones that especially don't deal well without guidance to a point where it's dangerous. It would have helped me when my master died. Support networks tend to dissolve when your master is very sick for a very long time and then even more of it disappears after he dies. I made it through the all the horror and the readjustment to freedom on my own, but it was a close thing. I made a lot of mistakes, and it was very hard to gather the will just to do the basic things necessary for survival, let alone health, when all I wanted to do was follow him. :(

Prinsexx -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 3:47:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cherryunicorn So my question is..... have you ever considered finding your slave a new home? how would you as a slave feel about being found a new home and new dominants? If were re homed how did it work out? My knee-jerk reaction to this as currently a submissive (possibly later down the road a slave) was..... wait "re-homed" I am an adult, i can care for myself, thank you..lol Then I thought about it and realized just because it would not be for me, doesn't mean it isnt perfect for others. I don't think this process deserves skepticism. First of all I have been a slave (and I don't consider it a promotional state of submission) and it was a mind set for me that allowed me not only to keep my financial/housing stability but indeed to be the only breadwinner and the one who was maintaining my Master. Under those conditions it would not have been the home that was lost (as there was children's stability also to keep on mind). It would be the grief, the sense of incomparable loss as such is the sense of bond between a slave and their Master that the Master becomes an extension to the slave's body (within the slave's experience). To have that suddenly cease is a form of grief that thankfully I have never had to encounter and can therefore only imagine. It would be like losing the boundaries of oneself. It's an interesting concept that Masters become interchangeable I know. But the condition of being owned, in my experience, is closer to that of let's say an arranged marriage (read this as arranged relationship) than any other I can think of. I suspect that having such an arrangment made would not necessarily involve the same depth of love/devotion/acceptance but these are feelings that grow within the bond.

LDVixen -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 3:54:57 PM)
I remember the words of a person speaking at a funeral service for a friend. "She will need you, not just in the next few weeks, but in the next month, in the next six months, the next year. Grieving does not stop when the funeral stops and the flowers wilt. Do not forget that as your life goes on, she is trying to re-learn hers without a key person in it." Grieving is so very hard to do, be it due to a major break-up or a death. People forget and think we should "just snap out of it". There are holidays and milestones to get past, every drawer, closet and cupboard seems to hold a painful memory. Just being vanilla and grieving is hard. Being a slave, owned, used to the constant guidance of another, I can see that this would be much, much worse. For some, a re-homing situation, at least as a temporary basis would be a very needed element of healing.

Prinsexx -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 4:00:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Consider me Pharoh. When I am transformed, the slave will go with me with mouth firmly planted on my genitalia, where I will come forever, in stiffyville. Selah. Oh plerrrleze...I just did a mental trip around the Narural History Museum and there was an open casket and your dick sticking bolt upright out of the bandages. (Brilliant conservation job I must say).

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