Are you spoiled?

Are you spoiled? (Full Version)

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BeautyDebased -> Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:12:11 PM)
This has probably been posted dozens of times, However, I'm curious if some slaves here see them selves as spoiled and maybe what their definition of the word means, is it a bad thing? this isn't relating to the princess/daddy dynamic but I have come across some who think a slave should have near to nothing, I see no problem with spoiling personally if the slave knows it's not a right....or maybe if they start taking it for granted and forget their place. I'm told I'm spoilt, and maybe I am, I wasn't always...life has thrown plenty of crap my way, maybe that's why when I am cared for in such a way I don't take it for granted. Beauty.

CeriseNin -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:21:30 PM)
Spoiling a sub is up to the owner, and really, even if he dressed you in diamonds it would be his doing and he's still just as much your master. Spoiled is in the eye of the beholder anyway, I agree, and so long as the sub is keeping his or her master happy, then that's all that matters. To me, owned isn't synonymous with doggy bowls and sleeping on a stone floor; it's about submitting and obedience. Whether the command is to drink from a dog bowl or slip into a silk gown, as long as the sub obeys, they're both just as owned.

BeautyDebased -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:25:05 PM)
That's very true, For me, spoiled can be, spending extra time with him..either near his feet or on his lap, either I'm happy with. In all honesty, I'd rather have him with me more often than material items, I'm not into jewelery anyway so that one doesn't matter to me, it can feel nice being looked after, not the items themselves but the thought behind them, that their given with love, hope that all made some sense, late night last night [:)]. Beauty.

littlewonder -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:25:06 PM)
spoiled? No. Cared for? Absolutely

CeriseNin -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:29:42 PM)
What you see as spoiled, or those who've said so may not know is your master may see that as taking good care of you. Yeah, I know what you mean...it's the thought that counts. It really is. It makes sense; it's the reason he gives you the items that makes them special and not their material worth.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:34:30 PM)
Sir spoils me all the time. Maybe my switch personality has that affect on him, but I am a sub to him. If I wasn't allowed to have anything, I'd end the relationship because I'd feel too much like a doormat.

BeautyDebased -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:36:29 PM)
Sorry, I was speaking of myself and I also agree with littlewonder, I think cared for is better terminology, because that's how I see it and I know my Master see's it mostly this way too, some Masters need to show their love in different ways, so material might work better for them where words don't work as well. I have had partners give me things then leave the house and cheat on me, those kinds of gifts mean nothing because the person giving them to you isn't doing it out of love, makes the gift a little pointless lol.

porcelaine -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:37:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeautyDebased This has probably been posted dozens of times, However, I'm curious if some slaves here see them selves as spoiled and maybe what their definition of the word means, is it a bad thing? Greetings Beauty, I have never described myself in that way nor do I adhere to the philosophy that you've mentioned regarding those in captivity. It is my belief that the dominant will make a concerted effort to assess his property's needs and respond in the manner he deems best. Whether his actions are in accordance with outside perspectives or fall along the lines of what is considered acceptable or permissible is moot. My barometer is him. Rather than make the assumption that his treatment is truly indulgent I'd pose the question why I felt (on some level) that I was not deserving of such and believed its manifestation was errant. To make that leap would foster the idea that his response is inappropriate. I view this subject matter as a part of the mental construct that enables the kept to embrace what is seemingly bad and those that things that are presumably too good to be true in deference to Keeper. As such, it is because of Him that I can find joy in being spoiled, denied, etc. Namaste, ~porcelaine

BeautyDebased -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:46:37 PM)
Up until now Iv'e never really been cared for, I was in a vanilla marriage for four years, married very young and put up with a lot of abuse that I thought I deserved, I'm happy it ended, I'd not now be living the life I have always needed to be in or be with my Master who is to me, nothing short of amazing. I find it hard to accept gifts, I get embaressed, I blush a lot and feel I don't deserve it...why, I have no clue, might be due to past relationships, I hadn't given it much thought. Maybe it is just how he cares for me and because I'm not used to it I failed to see it this way? because I'm not used to this kind of treatment from anyone. This made a lot of sense to me - quote: As such, it is because of Him that I can find joy in being spoiled, denied, etc.

CeriseNin -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 7:50:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeautyDebased Sorry, I was speaking of myself and I also agree with littlewonder, I think cared for is better terminology, because that's how I see it and I know my Master see's it mostly this way too, some Masters need to show their love in different ways, so material might work better for them where words don't work as well. I have had partners give me things then leave the house and cheat on me, those kinds of gifts mean nothing because the person giving them to you isn't doing it out of love, makes the gift a little pointless lol. Well said.

coookie -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 8:19:38 PM)
Hmm I am spoiled in a different way. I am a non-masochistic brat. He lets me get away with a certain amount of it because it entertains him. In this way, I am spoiled. As soon as I am going too far though he is sure to give me that look which means that I have to stop. As far as gifts are concerned, I do not take gifts easily. I tell him to keep his money. (and sometimes that works lol)

avena -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 8:32:09 PM)
Like you, I have difficulty accepting gifts. Some of my past vanilla relationships have not been good ones. I tend to feel guilty and suspicious both, if someone goes out of their way to 'spoil' me. It feels like they're trying to buy me off, or setting me up for something nasty later. And yet, D spoils me. He delights in spoiling me. He delights in seeing that blush on my cheeks and the slight confusion in my eyes while I try to figure out why he's giving me a gift. It's something I'm coming to terms with. That is just the way he is. And I know he's not using the gifts for any other reason than because he enjoys giving them. Of course, the gifts he gives are not large or expensive. They're often small, thoughtful things, that ultimately remind me how much attention he really does pay to me...To what I say and do...To what I like. And that is the ultimate 'spoil' as far as I'm concerned. But the gifts are only one form of being spoiled. The hours cuddling on the sofa, watching movies... Well, the cuddling period really... That's definitely my favourite form of being spoiled. He gives me what I need. And I give him what he wants from me. He dresses me as he sees fit, and holds my hand through the scary parts of the movies. Heaven!

BeautyDebased -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 8:43:26 PM)
quote: But the gifts are only one form of being spoiled. The hours cuddling on the sofa, watching movies... Well, the cuddling period really... That's definitely my favourite form of being spoiled. He gives me what I need. And I give him what he wants from me. He dresses me as he sees fit, and holds my hand through the scary parts of the movies. Heaven! I couldn't have said it better, I think the definition of spoiled can also vary depending on the couple which is what I'm starting to see from the replies here, and with each one it's what works for them or makes them feel loved etc. I have to admit though, not much beats cuddles....or resting my head in his lap, I could spend an entire day doing this. There are some things I don't see just as spoiling, like my modifications, I wasn't always a size E, I was a very uncomfortable and embaressed size B-C maybe, he payed for this to boost my confidence, to make me feel more secure about myself, more comfortable with my body and I can safely say I always smile when I see the look in his eyes, the happiness that comes with sharing the joy I get in my new found confidence. Another one is a holiday, the Greek Isles maybe, so for most this would be exciting and nothing more, for me I'm very nervous, I have social anxiety and mild agoraphobia, Iv'e never been out of the country.....he wants me to learn to be able to cope and try to take my mind of my nerves with thoughts of being taken somewhere beautiful, I do gain confidence with my Master near me, but I do also struggle sometimes too, something were working on though he loves me regardless. So, sometimes a gift is more than what it just appears to be, if that makes sense....I never thought anyone would want to help me, help but not expect the impossible, love me even though in some ways I am restricted, I was proven very wrong when I met Master [:)]. Beauty.

lizi -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 8:45:46 PM)
I'm not spoiled by monetary gifts except for the fact that I am not allowed to pay for anything when we're together. I am however spoiled rotten in emotional currency by my partner. I'm a person that doesn't care for material things, I'd much rather that you walk the walk and show me what kind of man you are and what you value. For me, buying things is the easy way out, I'm not much interested in that. I'd rather have his time, his attention, his guidance, his consideration, and luckily enough...I do.

TreasureKY -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 8:49:07 PM)
I'm not sure I'd use the term "spoiled", but I couldn't be any more fortunate in that there is nothing that I either need or want that I do not have. But it isn't just the material things that he gives me... more importantly it is who he is. While I have every material possession I could ever want... a beautiful home, clothes, jewelry, financial security... I have his love, support and fidelity. Add those three things to a man who is intelligent, wise and compassionate, and consider that I have his companionship around the clock, it makes me the richest woman in the world... even if we had no material possessions. If you had asked me 10 years ago if that was even possible, I would have been very doubtful. On second thought, I am spoiled. [:)]

NuevaVida -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/20/2011 10:34:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine I have never described myself in that way nor do I adhere to the philosophy that you've mentioned regarding those in captivity. It is my belief that the dominant will make a concerted effort to assess his property's needs and respond in the manner he deems best. Whether his actions are in accordance with outside perspectives or fall along the lines of what is considered acceptable or permissible is moot. My barometer is him. Rather than make the assumption that his treatment is truly indulgent I'd pose the question why I felt (on some level) that I was not deserving of such and believed its manifestation was errant. To make that leap would foster the idea that his response is inappropriate. I view this subject matter as a part of the mental construct that enables the kept to embrace what is seemingly bad and those that things that are presumably too good to be true in deference to Keeper. As such, it is because of Him that I can find joy in being spoiled, denied, etc. Namaste, ~porcelaine I really love the way you put this, particularly the part I bolded. Extremely well put! That said, it's not up to me to decide if I am spoiled or not. I will say, however, that the way he treats me brings me joy, and at times I joke to him that I must have reached princess status. It has nothing to do with gifts or monetary pleasures for me. It's the way he looks after me and takes care of my heart.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/21/2011 12:16:49 AM)
when i was able to be with my Mistress nearly daily and able to visit the local dungon often. it was easy for me to rember my submission and to please my Mistress, so in that way i had become accustomed to it. now that i am not as near to my Mistress and i have limited time or acces to lifestyle events i find myself wanting what was before and knowing that it will be harder to maintain my submission with the decreased time together. so one could say that i was spoiled to have so much before and now must deal with what is

IronBear -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/21/2011 4:37:33 AM)
When I have a slave collared to me or to the home, she is cared for and loved. Pampered? Never. Her job is to pamper me if needed. She may feel spoiled depending on what we are doing.

DesFIP -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/21/2011 4:52:45 AM)
If you think a sub is of no value, then any affection or gifts would be spoiling her. If however, you compare a sub to an item of extremely high value, then you would not believe affection or anything that she enjoyed would be spoiling her. I'm not interested in being a rusted out car that doesn't run and gets no maintenance, I know my value is high and therefore washing and waxing, detailing etc is maintenance. YMMV. From a child rearing pov, spoiling is when a child receives things but not love and attention and needs met. I preferred to go without until I met someone who also believes that his partner in the relationship should get love and attention and needs met. Emotionally speaking, I am not interested in a one way street.

CaringandReal -> RE: Are you spoiled? (1/21/2011 5:57:10 AM)
I was spoiled by my former master. He told me it was what I needed and also what he enjoyed, and, given who and what he was, I did not dispute him about this, although it did feel uncomfortable at times. Perhaps some slaves need this sort of treatment at certain stages in their lives/vocations? Everyone changes, after all. I have not run across anyone recently who thinks I need spoiling now, and some of the people I speak with are as insightful as my former master.

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