Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (Full Version)

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SthrnCom4t -> Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/20/2011 10:42:48 PM)

As mentioned in the "My Submissive's Place is..." thread, Otter and I had our first experience at a HP New Year's Eve formal dinner party. For me, this was a great experience, and one of those times when you don't appreciate all the planning that has to go into something, until you're in the midst of it.

I volunteered us to bring some appetizers. Knowing there were to be 23 people in attendance, Otter smoked a lot of salmon and trout, made delicious creamy horseradish dip, and some lovely salmon & cream cheese spread. Petite artfully cut slices of French bread and a few bottles of French wine rounded out our contribution.

We thought the food would be set out for guests to freely graze during the designated cocktail hour. Instead, it was served on a small dish to designate the beginning of the meal. (We had a ton left over.)

Unknown to Me, the hostess submissive was planning on serving wine with the main course. It mixed things up a bit when I offered up the French wine to our Host, as a specific pairing with the smoked fish appetizers.

Table spacing...even with an incredibly elegant extra long table, it was still a huge challenge for the shorter submissives to reach between the broad shoulders of the men in order to place food on the table. Not to mention how they were actually going to sit on the floor to the left of their respective Dominants.

Timing around dishing up and serving the food from the kitchen to the table with non verbal communication between Dominants and submissives was another challenge. I'm of the mind that all submissives should be fitted with e-Stim devices, but that might just be the Sadist in me.*grin*

Really, 'silver service' is an elegant dance, into which goes a tremendous amount of forethought and planning.

As described in the other post, we were there to enjoy ourselves and each others' company first and foremost. The experience served as a great jumping off point for much discussion, analyzation, and reflection.

My advice to anyone planning such an event, would be to think of it in 'ceremonial' terms, and pick the brains of those more experienced. We found it to be a great bonding experience, and if you have an interest....Just Do It!

I'd love to hear input from Dominants and submissives alike about your HP experiences, and what you've learned or observed. What do you think are the most important details? What are the biggest pitfalls? Suggested resources?

Thanks in advance :)




SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/20/2011 10:51:48 PM)

I cannot contribute, because I've never attended a high protocol dinner within the BDSM world.   The vanilla ones I've attended, nothing like you described.  
Anyway, I'm off to google these e-stim devices to which you refer. [:D]    M

P.S.   The submissive men who have mentioned being into High Protocol, tell me, the structure, and rules, puts them in a good headspace to serve.       M




LadyPact -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/20/2011 11:28:30 PM)

Let's see.  The most important details......

Plan, plan, plan.  That's everything from getting your RSVPs in order well in advance and plan your menu accordingly.  All of the courses should flow naturally for all of your guests, so when you send your invites specifically asking for RSVP by a certain date, remember to also ask about food allergies.  A rough draft of your menu is a good idea to send with the initial invitation.

If you have more than one person helping with preparations, plan on one person who will have the main job of laying the table.  It takes a lot of time and precision to get all of those place settings just right.  To this day, Vi Johnson preaches about a ruler to set a table.  Half of the atmosphere is set when the guests walk in to the dining room.  Make it count.

Even if the folks who will be serving during the evening have done high protocol dinners before - hold your own class.  The way that you can instruct them on the way you envision your event to go.  Protocols can vary from house to house, so you want your servers to be familiar with yours.  The goal is to make the service appear seamless.  It's much easier to get that effect if there's been a practice run.

My particular personal preference about the wine service.  In most cases, you want someone who isn't going to be struggling with corks if you're serving white.  (In other words, don't pick the smallest gal out of all of your servers to have this job.)  White wines should be announced and opened in front of guests.  Red wines should be opened before the guests arrive.  Your wine steward should never leave the dining room.  If additional bottles of wine are needed, they can be brought to the dining room by one of the other servers.

Biggest pitfalls - Even the best laid plans can be messed up by a few things.  A couple of these are dependent upon your guests.  When dinner is scheduled at seven, if people are fifteen minutes late, it's going to throw everything off.  Insist that your guests must be prompt.  Usually, this is easily avoided by holding a cocktail hour.

You mentioned it, but I'll repeat it.  Space.  You may want to have sixteen people, but if you can only seat twelve and everyone still have sufficient room, stick to the lower number.

Resources - You can always pick the brains of folks that you have been to their events.  There are plenty of articles online regarding proper plate and silver settings.  One of My personal resources is "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave:  Theory and Practice" by Robert Rubel.  Chapter five is specifically about dining, including sample checklists that can help you prepare for your event.

Damn.  And that's the short version.  LOL.




SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/20/2011 11:43:12 PM)

Thank you.
That's a lovely post, and very informative.   I guess I may want to learn more about high protocol.   Once in a while, I do like to have a dinner party...   Maybe in the future, it will entail a small intimate group, with maybe 1-2 boy servants, and perhaps a modified version of high protocol.     M




LillyBoPeep -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/20/2011 11:58:30 PM)

great post, LadyPact ^_^ this is one of my interests, so i'm going to be following these two threads closely.





LPslittleclip -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/21/2011 12:31:40 AM)

i have had some experince in resturant serving so some of the hp stuff was familiar but with each event it will be diffrentas my Mistress said plan and prepare well in advance. something that might help if possible is to have a dry run before hand full staff if possible but at least with the key persons if its a big event. if some of the servers are fun sized then they may be used as a presenter or carrier if you will so a taller one can pass the portions out. the layout is importaint as with each meal there are diffrent utensils to be used. the best service should be seen as seamles by the guests being served so having someone familiar with food prep and serving helps. as my Mistress mentioned there are whole books on this subject so find what will work in your meal. the best gift to a servant is a happy guest in this case the respective owners




SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/21/2011 3:59:04 AM)

It sounds like you and the lady LP are in great sync.   Makes a lady a little jealous...[:)] Even though High Protocol isn't my thing, it would certainly come in handly when having a head of state over my humble abode.     M




allthatjaz -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/21/2011 4:49:47 AM)

I think Lady P is spot on.
A dry run is crucial and its a great way of finding out who has silver service/wine waiter/waitress experience. Someone needs to be in charge to deligate the whole thing from smooth beginning to smooth end.
A meeter and greeter is in my opinion important, perhaps giving a rose to each, any female Dommes entering the premises and someone responsible for getting coats, doors and passing pleasantry comments as they leave is also something I would add. I would also prepare my sub/subs to converse and introduce to others, those who are new and looking a bit lost.
One that we went to had a Chinese tea ceremony demonstration which was quite something to watch.

I think the other important thing is seating. Space is obviously important but be careful not to sit your guests next to someone they openly don't get along with!




BonesFromAsh -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/22/2011 12:03:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Resources - You can always pick the brains of folks that you have been to their events.  There are plenty of articles online regarding proper plate and silver settings.  One of My personal resources is "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave:  Theory and Practice" by Robert Rubel.  Chapter five is specifically about dining, including sample checklists that can help you prepare for your event.



A book....YAY!!! I have oodles of formal service and etiquette books but nothing relating to leather protocols. Thank you, LadyPact, for offering this resource.




LillyBoPeep -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/22/2011 4:38:33 AM)

i agree with BonesfromAsh ^_^ thanks for the recommendation -- will be checking it out as well ^_^




LadyPact -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/22/2011 7:57:46 AM)

You're quite welcome.  Anytime I can recommend one of Dr Bob's books, I'm more than happy to do so.




RapierFugue -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/22/2011 8:27:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You're quite welcome.  Anytime I can recommend one of Dr Bob's books, I'm more than happy to do so.


I'm an avid reader so I'll thank you for the tip too :)

I've been watching (on and off) a new series in the UK: "Michel Roux's Service", where chef Michel Roux takes a group of young hopefuls, and trains them, through a series of "challenges" to become top class waiters and servers.

It's fascinating how much there is to it all - his Maître d’ is one of the top of his profession and the detail and thought he puts into every single last movement and action is remarkable. No wonder some of the best apparently earn £100,000 a year or more.




OttersSwim -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/22/2011 9:47:22 AM)

Ah and we have been watching Service as well and enjoying it immensely!  It is a fact that folk that work in food service really really work hard for their living and Service gives an insight into what it takes to do it professionally.  [:)]




RapierFugue -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/22/2011 10:03:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Ah and we have been watching Service as well and enjoying it immensely!  It is a fact that folk that work in food service really really work hard for their living and Service gives an insight into what it takes to do it professionally.  [:)]


You don't have to convince me of that - I've huge respect for the good ones. As Michel says, in the UK it's not a respected profession, other than among the elite, whereas in France it’s considered something of a “posh” job, and remunerated accordingly, with high standards too.

My fave was sitting in the main square in Montpellier (a very, very large, open square in the city’s centre), at a pavement cafe-bar, with a mate, and a waiter (a fairly old, grey haired chap) coming over to take our order.

Now when I'm in France I get naturally more particular about how I like certain things, because I know they can handle it without pissing in your soup, so my friend gave his coffee, booze and pastry lunchtime order, and I waited to say what I wanted, coz he hadn’t written anything down, and was waiting on about half a dozen tables (the French don't under-staff their places, which is half the reason you get such nice service). So I waited.

And waited. And waited. The bloke just stood there, looking at me as if I was a prize chump (an easy mistake to make, to be fair to him). He eventually indicated, with a “yes yes?” curl of his hand, that he was waiting for my order. I detailed exactly what I wanted, coffee-wise, the temperature and mix of the mixed digestif I wanted with it, and then went on about a particular omelette done in a certain way. The more complex things got (in a mix of French and English, as I'm not hugely skilled with the language) the more enthusiastic he got, nodding approval and generally encouraging me to be ever more specific.

Eventually he said “merci, monsieur”, beetled off, and returned later, and everything was absolutely perfect. That doesn't sound like much, but he'd just taken in about 20 different memory elements from our table alone, let alone the other 5 or 6 he was covering, and done so with a consummate grace and charm, with that slightly rude (to the British anyway) brusqueness and efficiency that I personally love (I hate oily or obsequious waiters) and the way he handled everything was just so damn stylish to watch. He could turn picking up an empty plate into a graceful and somehow charming move.

Given that Britain has, at least in parts, taken to preparing and eating good food the last couple of decades (at bloody last!), I'm hoping we’ll start to “get” decent service too. It’s our worst catering failing, IMHO.




DesFIP -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/23/2011 2:04:37 PM)

On one of the other threads it was mentioned that the fem sub servers had problems reaching to serve. It occurs to me that the only reason for that was that there were too many people at the table. If they had the right amount of space between diners, then there is space to pour more wine or refill a water glass or offer food, etc. I hate overcrowded tables.

I know Lady P said this, but it deserves repeating.




hausboy -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/23/2011 3:57:33 PM)

I love this thread.

There are a few things you can do for the short servants (footmen) who needed to place items/dishes on the table.  One form of table service involves bringing the main course and side dishes around on a serving platter.  This can be done with one servant--he or she holds the tray while the guest uses the serving utensils to serve him/herself....or two servants--one holds the tray, the other serves on the plate. 

Another option is to prepare the plates completely in the kitchen and leave the center of the table for centerpieces.  The downside, of course, is that it may be limiting to the guests.

Other tips I can suggest--make sure you have a large stack of clean plates and extra silverware readily at hand, so that when a guest finishes his/her plate, a clean one can immediately be placed there when the dirty one is cleared.--a guest should always have a plate in front of them, never a blank spot, and never a dirty plate if they have finished.  I did three formal dinners, and guests inevitably either used the wrong utensil or would drop one and we constantly had to replace silverware. (which should be handed to the guest on a tray, never by hand)

I agree it's important to have a servant assigned to take/retrieve coats/open doors.....At the parties I served, we always had one person assigned who "announced" each guest as they arrived. From the first moment, kitchen cleaning/dishwashing should begin (quietly) to keep up with the dinner, especially if you do not have enough dishes for all the courses.  In a pinch, the salad dishes can be washed after the first course and used for the dessert course.



I found that the hardest part was pouring drinks--be it water, wine, soda, etc.  If your servants aren't experienced with this, have them practice before the event.  Also, make sure they take note if any of your guests are left-handed, as this may require that they pour/serve from the opposite side, particularly since lefties often move their glass to their dominant hand.

This is just my personal preference--but those serving food/beverage should consider wearing a longsleeve shirt, like a starched white shirt, especially if they are male.  While some may not object to flesh/body hair being in close proximity to food, others, like myself, prefer that servants with a service function (especially food serving) be clothed.




Wickad -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/23/2011 6:23:43 PM)

(fast reply)

Thank you LadyPact for all your info on running a protocol event. I intend (with your permission) to pass your information onto those local to me who are planning such an event.

As well, I'd just like to add that the Edwardian Manor House is a British mini-series from 2002 that deals with some of the issues being discussed here. The premise is to put modern day folks in a 1914 setting where some are the family that own the Manor and some are the servants who serve in it. It is a very interesting look at how modern day folks adapt to each of their roles.

Here is the link: http://www.pbs.org/manorhouse/index.html

Hope that helps a bit,
Deborah




LadyPact -> RE: Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event (1/24/2011 7:51:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

(fast reply)

Thank you LadyPact for all your info on running a protocol event. I intend (with your permission) to pass your information onto those local to me who are planning such an event.


Please feel free to do so.  I'm happy to help in this area.





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