How do I get started?

How do I get started? (Full Version)

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QueenV57 -> How do I get started? (1/21/2011 7:46:05 AM)
I have just posted a my profile. I was introduced to this lifestyle by my new boyfriend and I love it. I want to learn all that there is about being a Female Supremacist and having male slaves. I never knew the power a female can have over a man until I met my new pet. His perspective is fetish based. I want to make friends with other Women and learn about the lifestyle from a Dominant Women's point of view. Sites I should go to. Books I should read. Munches I can attend. I am truly hungry for knowlege. I would appreciate any feedback Thanks for reading

LadyConstanze -> RE: How do I get started? (1/21/2011 7:58:14 AM)
I'm not a female supremacist at all, but I would recommend that you just sit back and think what you want from it, what would make you happy and then think how you can get it. There are a lot of books out there, maybe check the FAQ list here as well. As for munches, just google munch and your location and you should come up with lots and lots of stuff. The thing is, there is no such thing as "one fits all", in the end it's what makes you happy...

LadyNTrainer -> RE: How do I get started? (1/21/2011 10:38:49 AM)
Female supremacy isn't necessary to be dominant. I consider myself an intelligent and educated person, so if it doesn't have solid evidence behind it, I don't believe it. I don't hold with emotional or irrational beliefs, and "supremacy" based on things like gender or race is pretty irrational and not evidence-based. It might be fun to believe it for a little while (eg, in the context of a scene), but in real life it's on the same order as really believing in white supremacy. There are way more important things than gender or skin color when it comes to figuring out who in the relationship is best suited to be dominant or submissive. I am dominant because I am dominant, not because I have a hoo-ha. Actually, isn't it kind of insulting and lowering to dominant women to suggest that the only reason we are dominant is because of our gender? And what does that say about the submissive women who are strong, intelligent, self-actualized human beings with the right to make their own choices about what they want to do with their bodies and their lives? Denying them their rights isn't a step forward for advancing women, it's a step backward. Most folks in the scene aren't supremacists, we just know what we personally like, and it's cool if the person across from us at the Munch likes different things. So that's a great place to get started if you have one local to you.

LadyPact -> RE: How do I get started? (1/21/2011 10:44:35 AM)
Not a female supremacist here, either. It doesn't work for Me. In fact, it's a great way for Me to know immediately that I'm not compatible with male submissives who send Me emails stating that they believe in it. To each their own, but I don't want people to submit to Me just because of My anatomy. Here is the resource thread on the site for a number of books regarding BDSM: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

LaTigresse -> RE: How do I get started? (1/21/2011 11:02:51 AM)
I am adding my 'no belief in gender supremacy' also. There are too many dumbasses of both genders for me to ever hold one as superiour to the other. That being said, I am damned glad I was born female rather than male and feel it is the superiour gender for ME to be, in this life. As for the OP, I can honestly say that conversing with those that are submissive, and also those that identify as slaves, was the greatest learning tool I've had. I must advise however, that you proceed in that with great caution and respect for their existing dynamic and the fact that that person is not YOUR submissive/slave and therefor deserving of all the courtesy of any other human being.

SthrnCom4t -> RE: How do I get started? (1/21/2011 12:04:46 PM)
Not a supreme being here either. I prefer to be respected because of who I am rather than secondary sexual characteristics. I've worked hard to self-actualize, and I have confidence because I know myself, not because someone else deems to feel me superior. That being said, do find local munches and check out the book resource listed above. Think about female icons you admire, whether she's your own grandmother, Mother Theresa, or Xena. She doesn't have to be a real life person....TV personas can work also. Make a list of the attributes you admire in each, and then cultivate those into yourself, while still BEING yourself. This is not about 'acting' unless you're doing a bit of roleplay for fun. Also, think about what leadership qualities inspire you. Submissives ALWAYS have an initial choice to submit. Unless you are truly desiring to lure a submissive to your home and trick them into a locked cell in the basement, power exchange is about being a good Partner. (Caged submissives are really a lot of work so unless you already have several trained, I don't recommend going that route.) My own personal opinion is don't get caught up in making 'too many rules'. Like being a parent, rules and boundaries have to be enforced. Also, if you find you have a bit of a Sadistic streak, don't feel like you need to 'make up' scenarios for 'punishment'. "Funishment" is perfectly acceptable....ie, spank him because you enjoy it (and hopefully on some level he does too.). Beware of 'no-win' situations, where your pet feels he failed because you feel the need to 'punish'. Mostly, take what feels right to you, leave what doesn't, and have fun.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: How do I get started? (1/21/2011 1:23:57 PM)
Yeah, another non female supremacist here... so, wht the others said! Do what makes YOU feel good, feel strong, feel fulfilled. Sure, read and observe, but it's your life and your dynamic. Have fun!

LPslittleclip -> RE: How do I get started? (1/22/2011 8:42:56 AM)
like others have said look for local events and munches to meet and greet those in the lifestyle and ask lots of questions.if female supremacy works in your dynamic thats cool. most here identify as Dominant or submissive and just go with that as each dynamic will be by nature different. ask yourself what you like and don't like what feels good to you. with myself and my Mistress i can have open discussions and let Her know how i am feeling my likes and dislikes are. i trust my Mistress to keep me from harm and do what is best. thats what works for U/us. try to allow something that allows you sub/slave to have communication with you to keep them happy and safe

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