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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 6:20:09 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?


For me, the answer is a resounding YES.  The very first time Master and I met was in a work setting (we work in the same field) and we started talking about what we looked for in the dynamics of our relationships, esp. romantic ones.  I explained to Him that I wished I knew a man who was worthy of my respect and who I could look up to and submit to (talking in a Biblical sense, more or less).  He also explained that He had no attraction to women who tried to walk over men.  So, for us, we kind of established our roles from the first conversation, not knowing that we were going to end up becoming friends, lovers, play partners (esp. since I didn't know about bdsm then, but I knew what I liked in a relationship) or anything else.  So, YES, we established our positions before we ever thought of anything else.  (As my one college buddy puts it, we almost interviewed each other in our first discussion, lol.  Don't know why, I've never done it before.)   

So with knowing where we each would be in the scheme of things, we fell in love, knowing that our places were already set if we chose to stay with it.  We have stayed with it for almost 3 years, and I am collared by Him, and hope to married to Him later this year.  We are very much in love, so for us, it was more than possible - it was meant to be. 

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 6:20:23 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		The best and strongest relationships of any kind are ones formed in love.  There is truly nothing more beautiful, more earth shattering, more staggering or stunning than a truly loving relationship. 

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 6:23:43 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


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quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83
is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?
It absolutely is possible... Were it not for that possibility, I wouldn't do it.   The potential for a great connection is the only reason I would consider doing this, because for me, a lot of what we do reaches a much deeper level and requires a greater commitment on my part in relating to another.    M

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 6:35:27 PM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I would only, have only, entered into an M/s relationship where there was love. For me that is what it is about. Total surrender and service given from love.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 6:35:45 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?





You speak of "real love" as though there is some other kind...
 
Look at it this way:  You find someone who connects with you and agrees with you about some basic life choices.  ANYTHING is possible!  To have rules and boundaries is not a bad thing.  Why not begin a journey with someone who understands the way you wish things to be and wants those things as well?  Love is very possible under such circumstances.
 
~Staci
 

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 6:45:33 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		How about a resounding YES! I believe you could start off the relationship without love, but isn't that the ultimate goal in the end? If it is something that is going to last, love is going to be a key ingredient. I dare say if that ingredient doesn't emerge, it probably is going to fail in the end. IMHO.


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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 7:10:28 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Oh my I certainly hope so!..I have to have some kind of emotional bond or the relationship and yes I do mean D/s would IMO be a feeling of being in the desert and searching frantically for that one sip of cooling water.My submission (for me) would be more easily given in love....be well...Tempting

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 9:42:53 PM   
SirGabriel


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have been in many relationships, looking for the special someone. I have had a several D/s relationships knowing this was how I was most fulfilled. But the one I am in now and will always be, with my wife/slave/babygirl has been the most emotionally fulfilling. Just like in Vanilla lifestyles, you have to find the right one. When you enter into a D/s relationship, both partners expose so much of themselves and devote themselves to one another entirely, it is not just the submissive who become vulnerable. A dominant becomes vulnerable too, just in different ways.  He/she extends him/herself to care so completly for the submissive, physically, emotionally, mentally and often financially. If a couple mananges to allow themselves to go so deep into one another, in essence they live for the other, how can there NOT be true, real, passionate and UNCONDITIONAL love? It is possible if you allow it to be. But that kind of love is scary, it consumes you. To take that leap puts your very soul in the hands of another, and in my opinion, that kind of love is ONLY possible in D/s.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 10:01:01 PM   
OTKkindaGirl


Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

just curious as to your thoughts, o great distinguished panel of discussors!




i wasn't counting on it, but i believe that yes it can and it does.  opening up so completely to one another on the most intimate and deepest levels and accepting one another unconditionally.... that is love, how can you avoid it....especially in a D/s or Master/slave capacity?  Somebody tell me how do you avoid love when the relationship is thriving in all the right ways.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 10:06:43 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Already a thread on a similar topic.  My post in it is here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_350961/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#350976

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 8:39:49 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		two possibilities may exist:

A) Marry for money and work out the lovin' later.

B) Love is like..........OXYGEN.............

Ron 

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 8:44:59 AM   
temptressofsouls


Posts: 208
Joined: 3/29/2005
From: Toledo, OH
Status: offline 		*sings in a high-pitched voice*

Love is like oxyyygen
You get too much, you get too high
Not enough and you're gonna die
Love gets you hiiiigh

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 8:59:11 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		great minds think alike, n'est ce pas?

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 9:27:30 AM   
mechbot972007


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline



i found this on another web  site....i think it goes to the general carater of the "search" that all us singles (let alone the kinksters) face...hope you enjoy it


My Dear.. do not sell yourself to men based on your sexual prowess. They can buy that from any corner. They do not care about this at all, in fact, I know that for men like Stargazer, it is a turnoff. ( If he reads this, I hope he will put his two cents in..smile).
If you really want a man, think not about the golden rule, but the platinum rule. Now the golden rule states.. do unto others as you would have them do unto you.. But, the Platinum Rule says.. do unto others as they would wish to be treated.. so treat them in a way that they would like. In order to do this, you would have to have a few conversations with the gentleman you are persuing. I am sure by now, you know that sex and love are not mutually inclusive. Men have an amazing capacity to make love to a woman for months on end and walk away without an emmotional attachment. What you are looking for is a way to get him to like you for more than sex..as we already discussed, sex is not a good currency when you are trying to 'hook' a man.. smile.. what you want, is to be interesting, an engima, a mystery and something that he doesn't quite understand but knows he wants.. but to answer your Original question.. What makes a good lover?
Intuition,communication, passion, compassion, and a desire to give pleasure, a light touch, and a desire to learn about your partner

30-APR-06

can someone lone this lady a whip???
Respectfully
chris

http://www.millionairematch.com/blogs/blog_messages?blog_id=7442

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 9:29:50 AM   
mechbot972007


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline 		oh my goodness....the spell checker malfunctioned...please forgive me
Respectfully
chris

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 9:34:53 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Love blossoms everywhere. No matter what the conditions or preconditions, circumstances, environment, or situation. It would be harder to think of situations and circumstances where love WOULDN'T be possible.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 9:38:57 AM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		im amazed at all the hopeless romantics on this website.......
perhaps this world isnt really as sad as it seems.......


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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 9:43:59 AM   
MoonGoddessIsis


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I had to smile as I read this particular reply to the posting.  I surely hope that people really still believe in love.

Lady Moon


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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 9:56:17 AM   
murmur


Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmhmm, believing in real love is wonderful. But doesnt it make everything harder? Talking to someone, thinking that fate put him on my road, that he could be the one...and finding out right after, he is only in it for some experience play...so, i end up again on the defiant side (yup, that can be bad, for i trust too easily...and knowing that, i am more carefull and dont trust enough, knowing i can easily *fall over*...nevermind, i'm sure you get me ;) )
I believe in love while everyone around me give me advice on doing some *casual experiences* for, when HE will come along, i'll be ready.
But love should be about the connection...not the experience, right?
This thread gave me some hope back, thank you all :)

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/3/2006 7:09:52 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

B) Love is like..........OXYGEN.............


Gee thanks. I'll have that annoying song in my head all night!!

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