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XenoMaster -> RE: new to this (1/27/2011 1:28:39 AM)
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Okay, the first thing you need to decide is if this kind of relationship is what you want. You seem really hesitant. Having sub tendencies doesn't mean you have to go into a BDSM relationship where he sets all the rules and all the boundaries.
If you feel that you want it and are trying to get over insecurities then you need to start working on yourself. First, you need to trust him. That is something that you need to work out for yourself.
To get over the insecurities and the barriers you've put up you need to fixate on him, not you. When asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable focus on his pleasure and trying to please him. When you are called upon to call him 'Sir' or 'Master' fixate on how happy it will make him, not anything you're worried about.
It's also okay to be scared at first. If you weren't nervous about it, I'd be more worried. Communicate your fears to him. These conversations should be enlightening and sweet. If you feel ignored in them or he tries to hide behind a facade of macho pride to avoid communicating with you, don't pursue adding this to your relationship.
If he is a skilled dom or at least one that is trying to pursue the relationship, he will help you work through your fears. Find your limits and the lifestyle you both want whether that means you sleep in a cage and obey his will 24/7 or you just add some rope and spanking as spice to your relationship during playtime or anything in between.
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