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sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 7:12:24 PM   
nakedplaything


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/11/2011
Status: offline 		i do have experience of play/indulging in my sexual fantasies of sexual slavery, and didnt become physicaly sexualy aroused during it, but at that time in my life i had problems with my sex drive, so i dont know if that was the reason or not. so i was just wondering if this is the norm. do you become physicaly sexualy aroused while playing, wether as a domm or a sub? or is the fantasising more conducive to this than the actual realisation of/indulgence in it? as im male im especially asking men, but answers form the ladies are more than welcome too.
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 7:17:34 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		If you are asking if people get sexually aroused from play or the realization of fantasies, yes they do. Why would they do it otherwise???

If you are not aroused you are probably with the wrong person or have some other issues, either physical or emotional.

(in reply to nakedplaything)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 7:24:40 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

If you are asking if people get sexually aroused from play or the realization of fantasies, yes they do. Why would they do it otherwise???

There are many people for whom D/s is not sexual (or so they say).

I'm not one of them.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 7:26:18 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I suppose so. The OP asked a question and I gave my opinion of how I view it.

(in reply to Chulain)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 7:32:45 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP, it might be that the nature or "topic" or whatever of the play/scene/fantasy you experienced just didn't have the effect you thought it would. A lot of so-called fantasies are like that, better left in the mind or on the screen. But then the next time you might try something different, fireworks may go off for you. Sometimes we just never know until we try.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 7:56:23 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		yes arousal can happen during play or fulfiling fantasies. and just because it did once it may not again. its the way it goes i just enjoy the ride

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proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 8:23:56 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I suppose so. The OP asked a question and I gave my opinion of how I view it.

And I'm (sort of) answering your question "Why would they be in it otherwise?"

I can only guess that there are many other reasons.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 9:00:07 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I do it because

  • Turns me on
  • Turns him on
  • To suffer

Sometimes being a masochist is a double edged sword

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Chulain)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/28/2011 10:49:07 PM   
subiota2011


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline 		I have become sexually aroused during play and I have played without become aroused. The difference was the chemistry between me and the Mistress. When I play with a sadist I don't get aroused at all maybe because I don't relate most pain to sex. When I play with a more sensual Mistress I become very aroused but again it is chemistry. As far as fantasy maybe it was nerves that prevented you from getting excited it's not every day we get to live out a fantasy as a sub.

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 2:57:20 AM   
TotalDiscipline


Posts: 225
Joined: 5/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything

i do have experience of play/indulging in my sexual fantasies of sexual slavery, and didnt become physicaly sexualy aroused during it, but at that time in my life i had problems with my sex drive, so i dont know if that was the reason or not. so i was just wondering if this is the norm. do you become physicaly sexualy aroused while playing, wether as a domm or a sub? or is the fantasising more conducive to this than the actual realisation of/indulgence in it? as im male im especially asking men, but answers form the ladies are more than welcome too.



fantasies excist to arrouse you..I guess ( or the other way around)
The word playing also...points to wards that.

But all people don't play MAster and slave/sub. There are reasons to whip a girl..and not get excited.

(in reply to nakedplaything)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 5:34:17 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Reality rarely lives up to fantasy, it's interesting in its own way - stranger than fantasy - so learn the difference, and don't let fantasy interfere with appreciating reality.

(in reply to TotalDiscipline)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 6:41:20 AM   
preytolife


Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline 		Yes, I do get off on Dom/sub play. Especially with bite-y or somewhat...animalistic? people. The whole simple Dominance thing is wonderful. It can't all be mental for me. Realty never measures up to fantasies. Fantasies are perfect, no one ever gets hit in the eye with an elbow, you never slip out of the bondage ties accidentally, you never fall off the bed or have giggle fits. The Dom never hits himself in the head with the flogger. Embarrassing noises never happen. You never get phone calls from your mom or friends in the middle. The towel rack and the sink never break. You never need to call safeword in a fantasy because they know what's going on in your head.

Fantasies are awesome. They're not reality. Reality is much more amusing.

_____________________________

"No man is so good as to be free from all evil, nor so bad as to be worth nothing." - Norse Proverb

(in reply to xssve)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 7:50:14 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Many men don't have erections during, but they do after play ends. Many people play in public spaces where sex is not permitted so they channel all the energy into play and save sex for later with a committed partner instead of with whoever was topping them.

Whatever permutations you can imagine, someone will agree with.

As far as what is normal? Normal is just a setting on a washing machine, for anything else it doesn't matter.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to preytolife)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 8:43:11 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything
do you become physicaly sexualy aroused while playing, wether as a domm or a sub?

Tricky question for Carol and I because we don't exactly "play".

Insofar as doing sadistic things to Carol, the answer is, "No, I do not get aroused." From this I conclude that I'm not a sadist and so I don't do sadistic activities.

I'm not entirely certain what you mean by "the sexual fantasies of sexual slavery" but I do find owning my woman to be deeply satisfying on many levels, including sexually.




_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to nakedplaything)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 10:16:15 AM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
Sometimes being a masochist is a double edged sword

OK, what does that mean?

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 1:11:52 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything

i do have experience of play/indulging in my sexual fantasies of sexual slavery, and didnt become physicaly sexualy aroused during it, but at that time in my life i had problems with my sex drive, so i dont know if that was the reason or not. so i was just wondering if this is the norm. do you become physicaly sexualy aroused while playing, wether as a domm or a sub? or is the fantasising more conducive to this than the actual realisation of/indulgence in it? as im male im especially asking men, but answers form the ladies are more than welcome too.


As a male Dom, I rarely get sexually aroused in a physical sense (erection) during play because it mostly gets in the way of my own headspace. But that's not to say what's left constitutes "work" because I'm absolutely having a great time making her squirm or squeal etc.

Different for her, of course, because most scenes generally involve messing with her intimate bits in one way or another.... Most active scenes include sexual release for her but not so much for me. I also like passive scenes (bondage only) where I just like sitting back absorbing her naked helplessness for a few hours - no touching or sexual stimulation etc.

Sounds silly but for me to get an erection during play, it has to be a conscious decision to direct play in that direction. Though mostly, I prefer torturing her with her own sexual needs and desires. Surely this is why women get to cum more often than men, no? ;)

Welcome to CM.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to nakedplaything)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/29/2011 2:43:46 PM   
XenoMaster


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/24/2011
Status: offline 		Sometimes I do; sometimes I don't.  Don't sweat it.  Not all excitement in D/S is purely sexual for all people.  It's still excitement.

Of course if you're just plain bored, then you may want to try new things.

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 1/30/2011 12:55:03 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50




As a male Dom, I rarely get sexually aroused in a physical sense (erection) during play because it mostly gets in the way of my own headspace. But that's not to say what's left constitutes "work" because I'm absolutely having a great time making her squirm or squeal etc.

Different for her, of course, because most scenes generally involve messing with her intimate bits in one way or another.... Most active scenes include sexual release for her but not so much for me. I also like passive scenes (bondage only) where I just like sitting back absorbing her naked helplessness for a few hours - no touching or sexual stimulation etc.

Sounds silly but for me to get an erection during play, it has to be a conscious decision to direct play in that direction. Though mostly, I prefer torturing her with her own sexual needs and desires. Surely this is why women get to cum more often than men, no? ;)

Welcome to CM.

Focus.


master is very much like this to. and he loves to watch and to see me when at his mercy so to speak. me however gets off big time on play and the thought of pleasing him and somtimes even a certain look can get me hot. but as he can get me to cum on command and he is working on the same for subspace its not difficult for me to feel aroused by him. when i was married to a 'vanilla' man i never enjoyed sex it never satisfied me i juts never knew why till now.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 2/5/2011 12:16:23 PM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		It depends on what is happening at the time. Getting paddled, no arousal, and i am defining arousal for myself as a hard on. Being touched gently or having my cock touched, arousal. i would say that most of the time during a session, especilly the heavier discipline part of the session, i am not hard but am enjoying the sexual nature of the situation

(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)
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RE: sex arousal during play/realisation of fantasies - 2/5/2011 1:31:22 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I get turned on by bdsm play, in a big way. The d/s part satisfies many aspects of my being, sometimes including my sexuality. It doesn't always get me wet to fetch him a glass of tea (sometimes it does!), but it does always please me in some way.

(in reply to txurinal)
Profile   Post #: 20
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