are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (Full Version)

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nakedplaything -> are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 8:47:51 PM)

two questions. the second will be a follow up to the first. the first is this.

i am looking for intense, harsh, domination and humiliation. the sort  you would recieve in a fantasy in which you were enslaved by someone who  is cruel, views you with contempt, and enjoys dehumanising and sexualy humiliating you. as close to real, non consensual sexual slavery to a woman as it can be while still being consensual. face slapping, hair pulling, facial manipulation, intimidation to the extent where i do feal a certain amount of 'fear'. flogging to the extent where i genuinely do beg for it to  stop. even things like being forced to dance naked, being forced to defacate in front of my mistress, and having my head shaved (although this could only ever be a fantasy).

are their ladies out there who share these extreme fantasies and are completely capable of indulging in them/inflicting them, while still being able to maintain a 'vanilla' relationship and an element of mutual respect etc? or is it too much to expect this level of domination/sexual slavery from a woman while still having some sort of 'normal' relationship with her.

the reason i ask is that i would imagine if a woman has a relationship with you outside of the bdsm, she may find it difficult to be like this with you.

2nd question is this. what do femdoms really think of men with these desires/fantasies? i know i am completely genuine and it is not only about sexual gratification with me. i adore and respect women, and have a natural desire to please them, while at the same time on a day to day basis i am just an ordinary guy - im confident and assertive, and i dont just go about being submisive to every woman i meet. but i know that with many 'subs' its just a kink and they dont have a genuine submissive bone in thier body. so how do femdoms feel about subs like me? do you think we are weak? or mostly just fake? can you seperate the sub from the man, and still find the man sexually attractive and have respect for him?



SweetDommes -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 9:00:11 PM)

I have a question of my own for you - why does having those fantasies make her "real" (with the implication that those who don't are "fake")?



LadyPact -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 9:04:45 PM)

Answer to your first question; Yes.  What else do you want to know?

Answer to your second question;  I'm glad as hell that such folks exist.

Oh, but I'll be very honest with you.  I've found such people more reliable in real life than some random thoughts on the internet.

Anything else that you want to know?



Charles6682 -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 9:08:33 PM)

I have a more interesting question.Is Fem-Dom a creation of Men who wanted to be dominated by Women or by Women who wanted to dominate Men?



Lockit -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 9:27:47 PM)

Charlie dear, I love it when former posters that had a two by four clue finding mission achievement process... make fun of those coming in and doing the same. It's not wise to forget where you come from or where you were coming from.



SexyBossyBBW -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 9:41:56 PM)

quote:


i am looking for intense, harsh, domination and humiliation. the sort  you would recieve in a fantasy in which you were enslaved by someone who  is cruel, views you with contempt, and enjoys dehumanising and sexualy humiliating you. as close to real, non consensual sexual slavery to a woman as it can be while still being consensual. face slapping, hair pulling, facial manipulation, intimidation to the extent where i do feal a certain amount of 'fear'. flogging to the extent where i genuinely do beg for it to  stop. even things like being forced to dance naked, being forced to defacate in front of my mistress, and having my head shaved (although this could only ever be a fantasy).

are their ladies out there who share these extreme fantasies and are completely capable of indulging in them/inflicting them, while still being able to maintain a 'vanilla' relationship and an element of mutual respect etc?
Yes, absolutely there are women like this, though I'm not that woman.    Your fantasies aren't that far out, you simply have to find someone who wants these things, online, or better yet, by joining groups in real life where you are.

quote:

the reason i ask is that i would imagine if a woman has a relationship with you outside of the bdsm, she may find it difficult to be like this with you.
Not at all.   Most dominas, are not working you 24/7; they're carrying on with life just like you.

quote:

2nd question is this. what do femdoms really think of men with these desires/fantasies
Great partners, if they like and want you.    M



LadyNTrainer -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/29/2011 10:32:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I have a more interesting question.Is Fem-Dom a creation of Men who wanted to be dominated by Women or by Women who wanted to dominate Men?


My guess is that classic, stereotypical, sex-negative femdom is a male fantasy construct. It's not honestly all that much fun for women, since the men in it mostly seem to get off on how much they don't get the woman off. They are not hot, they are not desirable, sensual, graceful, attractive or sexy. Instead only the woman is portrayed as sexy and desirable, effectively packaged for male consumption as a powerless sex object.

Yeah. No. I don't enjoy that kind of femdom. What I do enjoy, and what I have known I wanted since before puberty, is an *actual* female led relationship where the men must be hot and sexy on command, packaged for *my* viewing pleasure, submissive to *my* desires. And that is what I get to have.

To answer the OP, I have absolutely no problem being utterly brutal with my beloved property. My kink is not humiliation, and I have no interest in smelling shit, so I don't play with it. Physical brutality, pain and fear, yummy. A month after my primary's collaring ceremony, I did a piercing scene with him where I beat the living crap out of him, fucked him up the ass, pierced both his nipples and pissed on the fresh piercings and in his mouth. Was fun. If anything, my respect and regard for him has only increased.

I love him very much, all the more so for the powerful intensity of our dominance and submission. I love that I can go that hard and heavy with him, and he can take it and want more. I respect him greatly as a person and as my partner, and I have absolutely no problem slapping him down to his knees, beating him savagely, pissing on him, torturing him and utterly subjugating him to my pleasure. It's what we both like, so that works for us.

But no, I don't share the specific laundry list of your kink fantasies. Expecting someone to do so ties right back into Charles' question, which is to say, you're not really doing female dominance at all any more. Just some male-created fantasy version, which isn't likely to be all that much fun for her.

Want real female dominance? Then actually submit. Freaking LISTEN to what women want, and focus on making yourself pleasing and attractive and desirable to them. Spend serious time in the gym; it helps. Be a hot little studpuppet. Dress well. Do you see how submissive gay men pay attention to how they look and dress and do their hair? Take lessons from them. They understand that it is their place to be looked at, to be cruised, to be desirable objects to attract a dominant's gaze. Most hetboys don't get that, and still think they are entitled to be the looker rather than the object that is looked upon. Sorry, but if you're submissive it doesn't work that way. If you want to be desired by a woman, learn how to be hot. Don't expect her to wear tight fetish clothes for your viewing pleasure and diet to keep herself pretty while you slob around. Nope; if you want to be submissive, it's your turn to think about diets and exercise and wardrobe and hair care products so that you will be pleasing to a woman's eye.

Be witty and charming and a good date, good boyfriend material, dutiful and attentive in the real world. Quit focusing on your own jerkoff fantasies of "submission" and what gets you off. Find out what SHE wants, and do that. Not nearly so much fun as your "femdom" fantasies perhaps, but it's a lot better grounded in the real world of what a dominant woman might actually want and enjoy.



LadyPact -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 4:22:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I have a more interesting question.Is Fem-Dom a creation of Men who wanted to be dominated by Women or by Women who wanted to dominate Men?

It depends.  Are we talking about legitimate Fem-Dom or the stuff that's in porn, which is absolutely a male driven business?

I can't speak for the other women on this thread, but I don't do what I do to please other people.  I'm actually pretty stubborn on the subject.  Tell Me that I *have* to do something to please other people, and you've got a better chance of hell freezing over.  Something that I *want* to do is a completely different subject.



SlevinKelevra -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 10:58:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Answer to your first question; Yes.  What else do you want to know?

Answer to your second question;  I'm glad as hell that such folks exist.

Oh, but I'll be very honest with you.  I've found such people more reliable in real life than some random thoughts on the internet.

Anything else that you want to know?




I just love the answer so much, I´d print and frame this thread just up to this answer. Thank God for a Lady like you.



SlevinKelevra -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 11:05:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I have a more interesting question.Is Fem-Dom a creation of Men who wanted to be dominated by Women or by Women who wanted to dominate Men?

It depends.  Are we talking about legitimate Fem-Dom or the stuff that's in porn, which is absolutely a male driven business?

I can't speak for the other women on this thread, but I don't do what I do to please other people.  I'm actually pretty stubborn on the subject.  Tell Me that I *have* to do something to please other people, and you've got a better chance of hell freezing over.  Something that I *want* to do is a completely different subject.




If "Femdom" equates to leather/latex/rubber/plastic/PVC clothing, spurs, corsets, spikes, shackles, chains, leashes, gags, masks, crosses, tables, and any other torture device with a cruel, sadistic woman who can´t see men any better than butchers see a cow come to their shop, ten that´s some guy´s masturbatory fodder. maybe he thinks there´s a happy ending and this Mistress/Domina has great sex with him....which would probably be the sign of not just a fantasy but a completely derranged hallucination.

If "femdom" equates to dreaming of a caring, sensuous, intelligent woman who loves you and respects you for your humanity, your persona, and merits, and who just disciplines and guides you, not just as a rider does to Her horse, or as an owner does to a pet or the classical fantasy of the sexy "Mommy/Teacher and kid" roles some keep, and you wish to make her happy, you find a reward in her smile and approval, and all you can imagine is being with her and enjoying her company, whether intimately in a bedroom, without needing the costumes, toys and BDSM playbook moves but using them as a part, not as the whole of the relationship, but also walking down the beach holding hands (or on all fours as her mount, whatever works inside the relationship as long as it comes from real love) and listening to her words, then that is real femdom.

And if you don´t try to make that a reality by becoming your best and giving out like such, then you are friggin´nuts.



nakedplaything -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 5:32:06 PM)

hello LadyPact, thanks for your reply and for offering to answer more questions.the other questions i would like to ask are these.

can you still maintain respect for and sexual attraction to such men in the 'vanilla' life? does knowing a man has these desires and seeing him so  powerless and submissive and humiliated not damage  your perception of him as a man? or can you still seperate the slave from the man/person, and still find him attractive as a vanilla partner?

im also interested in how dommes view sheer nylon foot worship, as opposed to bare foot worship. for many submissive men this is something they love, even need, and would be the perfect reward if the domme was the type to give one. if a domme was into foot worship, do you think they would  get as much  from this, or would they mostly prefer bare foot worship.

finally, i didnt quite understand what you meant when you said 'iv found such people more reliable in real life than some random thoughts on the internet'. could you be so kind as to explain please?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 5:35:06 PM)

Your post says "not a lot of experience". That's fine, but the cure is--get some experience! Also, please check the FAQ at the top of the board. There are some answers there.



LadyPact -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 5:41:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything

hello LadyPact, thanks for your reply and for offering to answer more questions.the other questions i would like to ask are these.

can you still maintain respect for and sexual attraction to such men in the 'vanilla' life? does knowing a man has these desires and seeing him so  powerless and submissive and humiliated not damage  your perception of him as a man? or can you still seperate the slave from the man/person, and still find him attractive as a vanilla partner?

I don't consider My submissive a vanilla partner, so I would have to say no.  I don't desire him as a vanilla man.  I desire him as a submissive man. 

The question is easily turned around though.  Can you separate the sadist from the person?  Does the sadist, who enjoys torturing another person still get your respect?  Is she still attractive when not playing?

quote:

im also interested in how dommes view sheer nylon foot worship, as opposed to bare foot worship. for many submissive men this is something they love, even need, and would be the perfect reward if the domme was the type to give one. if a domme was into foot worship, do you think they would  get as much  from this, or would they mostly prefer bare foot worship.

That question should be directed to the Dominant that you are dealing with.  Whether I say that I like it or don't like it has absolutely no effect on your life or the activities that you engage in.  Since you will never be engaging in the activity with Me, My feelings on the matter are of no consequence.

quote:

finally, i didnt quite understand what you meant when you said 'iv found such people more reliable in real life than some random thoughts on the internet'. could you be so kind as to explain please?

In My opinion, there are a number of folks who post things on the internet that they may never actually do.  This isn't something that comes up in real life for Me with My play partners.  The electronic medium has way more "all talk" types than the folks that I play with at parties.



nakedplaything -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 6:18:36 PM)

ok, thankyou very much for all your information. take care.



nakedplaything -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 6:19:58 PM)

hello LadyHibiscus, i didnt say i had not allot of experience. did you mean thats what my post suggests?



LadyNTrainer -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (1/30/2011 11:30:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything
can you still maintain respect for and sexual attraction to such men in the 'vanilla' life? does knowing a man has these desires and seeing him so  powerless and submissive and humiliated not damage  your perception of him as a man? or can you still seperate the slave from the man/person, and still find him attractive as a vanilla partner?


For me, absolutely yes.


quote:

im also interested in how dommes view sheer nylon foot worship, as opposed to bare foot worship. for many submissive men this is something they love, even need, and would be the perfect reward if the domme was the type to give one. if a domme was into foot worship, do you think they would  get as much  from this, or would they mostly prefer bare foot worship.


I'm interested in how men view coffee with creamer in it versus coffee without creamer in it. For many men, coffee is something they love, even need. Do you think that men get as much from drinking coffee with creamer, or do they mostly prefer it without any?

Srsly, if you actually think that there is a meaningful general answer to either question, you're probably smoking crack. Which I hear will wake you up much better than coffee, but it's not healthy for you, so please stop.


quote:

finally, i didnt quite understand what you meant when you said 'iv found such people more reliable in real life than some random thoughts on the internet'. could you be so kind as to explain please?


Possibly a typo of reliable for reliably, possibly a reference to the fact that people can say any manner of bullshit over the Internet and it's not necessarily relevant to what they are doing in real life.



nakedplaything -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (2/1/2011 8:04:54 AM)

actually i do have experience. i have had a mistress and played in public at clubs with her and her fiends.  she is now a pro in glasgow scotland.



Madame4a -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (2/1/2011 9:30:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything

actually i do have experience. i have had a mistress and played in public at clubs with her and her fiends.  she is now a pro in glasgow scotland.


heh... love it...



MsVengeange -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (2/2/2011 11:17:07 PM)

quote:

Tell Me that I *have* to do something to please other people, and you've got a better chance of hell freezing over. Something that I *want* to do is a completely different subject.

I have been telling people this for years!! But of course the status quo is to follow the little white rabbit down the hole... Umm... NO!




strangedesire -> RE: are there mistresses this intense/extreme/real? (2/3/2011 7:40:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedplaything

i am looking for intense, harsh, domination and humiliation. the sort  you would recieve in a fantasy in which you were enslaved by someone who  is cruel, views you with contempt, and enjoys dehumanising and sexualy humiliating you. as close to real, non consensual sexual slavery to a woman as it can be while still being consensual. face slapping, hair pulling, facial manipulation, intimidation to the extent where i do feal a certain amount of 'fear'. flogging to the extent where i genuinely do beg for it to  stop.


The acts you're describing? Absolutely. I'll throw my Kitten around, slap her, pull her hair, tell her that she's an object for my pleasure. I frequently hurt her until she's begging me to stop and then some. She's afraid of me, she says, like horror movies or roller coasters. It's a fear that she can enjoy because she knows that she is physically and emotionally safe in my hands.

quote:


are their ladies out there who share these extreme fantasies and are completely capable of indulging in them/inflicting them, while still being able to maintain a 'vanilla' relationship and an element of mutual respect etc? or is it too much to expect this level of domination/sexual slavery from a woman while still having some sort of 'normal' relationship with her.


I'm a sadist. She's a masochist. Our relationship is based on respect for each other and our desires. Kitten isn't a doormat - she couldn't take this kind of treatment from anyone who didn't respect see her as fully human. And one someone becomes fully human to you, you can't go back. No matter what I do to her, I can't take her personhood away in my own mind.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

quote:


the reason i ask is that i would imagine if a woman has a relationship with you outside of the bdsm, she may find it difficult to be like this with you.


For me it would be the opposite. When I play like this with people, I have to be able to trust that it will make them stronger, rather than hurting them. It is against my nature to do emotional damage: I leave people better than I found them, not worse. My sadism doesn't change this.



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