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DelightMachine -> RE: Virgin Dilemma (5/7/2006 8:42:10 PM)
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quote:
But as you have pointed out, emotions can surface and take one by surprise. Do you have any suggestions on how to gently avoid this? I don't want to cause him any heartache but I don't want to be cold and hurt him that way either. What can I do to keep things on a fondly affectionate and friendly level?
I think the most effective thing, but maybe the hardest to pull off, is for him to be with another woman fairly quickly.
Do you intend to spend the night with him and wake up in the morning with him? For me, that's one of the most enjoyable things about sex, but perhaps its one of those things that's also the most "bonding."
By the way, have you already seen him naked, had any foreplay with him? If you have, it might make the first time a little easier for him.
Now I'm actually very serious about this idea, but It'll make you laugh: Insist that for this sexual relationship to continue, he's got to do something that really turns you on. Now it doesn't matter what it is, or even whether it turns you on or not (although I guess it would be better if it actually did) -- but it's got to be something that he really, really doesn't like at all. He'll do it for a while as long as the sexual experience is overwhelming to him, but eventually it will turn him off to having sex with you.
Potential examples: He's got to put on a pair of women's panties (and perhaps leave your place while wearing them under his clothes), he's got to dance naked for you, he's got to let you use a strap-on up his ass, he's got to spank you (or be spanked by you).
Chat with him about sexual perversions and find one he hates, then tell him, oh, that's too bad, I really, really like that one. It really turns me on. Will you pleeeeze do that for me?" And then have a headache that just won't go away untill he (despearate that he will be for more sex) agrees to do this thing he hates. He'll do it a few times, get used to the sex and get more and more annoyed that he has to do this thing. Then just insist on it. It will end on pretty good terms, especially if you know another woman out there who wants a well-trained stud.
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