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feastie -> RE: Abandoned by Dom (5/8/2006 3:30:03 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tendergirl
I have accepted that no matter what I do or say, the relationship is over and I have to go through the process of being hurt and then getting over it.
This was my first D/s relationship and I have to say that I just cannot see me ever getting into another one. I gave parts of myself to him that I had never given to anyone before. Those deepest, most intimate emotions that came from so far in my soul that now I have lost the relationship, my life is in tatters.
Yes, that sounds pathetic. Yes, I am embarrassed by that. I am a 44 year old, mother of 3, who just simply should have known better.
Leaving my job was not wise. I went to work when I should have phoned in sick, freaked out (my direct supervisor had always been a bit of a pain, a bully) when someone got in my face, and then went and got a sick note.
In all honesty, right now, what job I do does not matter to me, so I will get other work, I know that. What is worrying me is how I am feeling deep down inside. Quite unstable. As if someone has had their hand inside my brain and screwed around with it.
This does not feel the same as a normal breakup to me.
It feels different because it is different. You have to learn to be "unowned" inasmuch as you had to learn to be owned. It's a difficult process and you have no choice but to do it, right now, because he isn't there anymore. It hurts like hell.
But you can and will do it and you can and will be ready for a new relationship one day.
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