RE: Multi-Day Scenes

RE: Multi-Day Scenes (Full Version)

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SweetSarijane -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 1:07:50 PM)
Kyra, Great to hear about your experience. From reading it, it shows KoM is observant and caring of your needs. You say it was fun, challenging and intense and it sounds as though it was. Is this something that in future you'd want more of? Do you think experiencing this type of play/interaction more could help you if not overcome then perhaps lessen the claustrophobia? Enable you to handle it better? Maybe stupid questions to ask, but it was your talking of that that struck me and had me thinking. All the best to you.

champagnewishes -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 1:20:25 PM)
oops should have read down further to realize it already took place...and am running late at the moment to give your update the attention it deserves.

KnightofMists -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 1:26:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane Kyra, Great to hear about your experience. From reading it, it shows KoM is observant and caring of your needs. You say it was fun, challenging and intense and it sounds as though it was. Is this something that in future you'd want more of? Do you think experiencing this type of play/interaction more could help you if not overcome then perhaps lessen the claustrophobia? Enable you to handle it better? Maybe stupid questions to ask, but it was your talking of that that struck me and had me thinking. All the best to you. They are not stupid questions.... at least I don't think so. I would say thou that the purpose of the play is not to overcome these issues. But to demonstrated that she is learning to manage, cope and resolve the issues that are causing the claustropobia issues. I feel alot of people approach fears as if you face them enough and slowly that you can conquer the fear/issue. I personally don't agree with that mindset. I believe that when one works at the underlying issues it builds courage to face ones fears bit by bit. It is not the facing of the fear in of itself that will allow someone to conquer it, but the before and after thought processes one goes through in resolving these issues. This past play was a success in that she found that many of the efforts she using worked for her within the confinement she was subjected to. She also learned that there is more work to do. I expect she will be doing alot of thinking and consideration in the days ahead on how she can further improve on managing and resolving her claustrophobic issues. I would also make note that she has been learning to these skills long before I have come into her life and has been doing very well without me in learning these skills, now it's just alittle easier. The play was not an opportunity to learn to manage the fear, but an opportunity to demonstrate the skills learned. She did very well!

SweetSarijane -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 2:51:08 PM)
Even with the purpose not being to overcome the issues but rather to show her she is making progress and also still has more work to do, couldn't or wouldn't it still through that reinforcement help her do that? Give her positive reinforcement that she's making progress and show her there's a ways to go and thereby spur her to work harder to continue working/fighting to overcome and deal with it?

KnightofMists -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 3:04:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane Even with the purpose not being to overcome the issues but rather to show her she is making progress and also still has more work to do, couldn't or wouldn't it still through that reinforcement help her do that? Give her positive reinforcement that she's making progress and show her there's a ways to go and thereby spur her to work harder to continue working/fighting to overcome and deal with it? It is indeed a motivating factor to continue the efforts. But, it is not the solution. I don't want my girl dependent on anything except within herself to resolve that which has plagued her for many years.

genvieve -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 3:15:37 PM)
Gotta love multi-day scenes. Although, when involved in those scenes, i have to stress, and can't stress enough the importance of safewords/verbal and non-verbal. ~nods~ A girl can get pretty deep into subspace durring scenes like that.

Slipstreme -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 3:24:38 PM)
Wow! And the BBQ brush, that sounds just pure evil. grins Thank you kyra and KOM for the follow up report, it gives us a lot to think about, especially the growth, as KOM explained that may come of it. An interesting take on facing fears, but surely one that makes sense. You have a rather caring Knight, one who's experience and judgement I do envy. I wish you both well in the days to follow.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 3:59:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists It is indeed a motivating factor to continue the efforts. But, it is not the solution. I don't want my girl dependent on anything except within herself to resolve that which has plagued her for many years. That's how I was seeing it, as a motivating factor, a type of help for lack of a better word at this point not as an entire solution to the issue or a fix for it. I don't think any one thing can solve a problem really not like this. I think it takes several things to do it, but it is one thing among others to help. I agree that it has to come from within her to do it, just as it had to come from within me to overcome the issues I have. All the best to you and yours.

kyraofMists -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 5:09:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: genvieve Gotta love multi-day scenes. Although, when involved in those scenes, i have to stress, and can't stress enough the importance of safewords/verbal and non-verbal. ~nods~ A girl can get pretty deep into subspace durring scenes like that. Actually my Lord and I do not play with safewords at all and one was not needed for this past weekend. For me, safewords would be useless when I am in subspace. I am not able to judge what is or is not too much and I am completely reliant on him to make that call. He makes the decision on whether play will continue or not and he just uses normal communication to find out how I am doing.

Sensualips -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 5:27:06 PM)
quote: It isn’t really small places that I have a hard time with, but being confined in any space, being inactive and not being able to leave. I get the same feeling in an airplane once it has landed or in the back of a car when it has stopped. I just have to get out. I am able to control the fear and not panic but it is a challenge. I have this exact same issue. Not claustrophobia exactly, but something. I hate the time the plane lands until you step off. Once I was in a simple chest harness and I got to the point where it was just too tight and I need it OFF. I don;t freak out, but my request is urgent while I try and relax. I was reluctant to try a partial mummification, but we did arms/chest and to a table and it was not bad once the wrapping was done. And when he decided to take it off, I would have been bothered with an agonizingly slow removal. That is interesting about not bleeding. Hmmm. I wonder if that is common, to build a tolerance for bruising or bleeding?

Slipstreme -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 6:42:14 PM)
quote: That is interesting about not bleeding. Hmmm. I wonder if that is common, to build a tolerance for bruising or bleeding? Yes, even as a newb, I can tell you the scenes I have been in, as a bottom, are much more intense than when I first started, to cause the same effects. My body seems to adapt rather readily to many things. Although a BBQ brush, that I wouldn't know about. Seems scary,.............. but oh so inviting............. However, you may want to check this thread: http://www.collarchat.com/Long_Term_Affects_of_Extreme_Play/m_383330/tm.htm which may suggest that some of the changes the body takes towards dealing with pain and damage, may not always be good ones. Apologies for hijacking your thread kyra.

Sensualips -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/24/2006 8:06:02 PM)
quote: Actually my Lord and I do not play with safewords at all Don't start that up again, Kyra!

genvieve -> RE: Multi-Day Scenes (5/25/2006 12:18:19 PM)
~laughs~ i'm not going to revisit the safeword issue. Sorry i brought it up.

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