kyraofMists
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Joined: 7/29/2005
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It has been a couple days since the play ended and I am now able to actually write about it. It started Saturday evening and he chose to end the play 24 hours later. It was incredibly fun and a learning experience for both of us. It was more a mental play for us than anything else. There were long periods of inactivity and me just alone with my thoughts and then times of intense sensations. He found that the longer the play went on, the less he had to do to get me to a quivering mess.
We learned that my body has quickly adapted to SM play and even in the short time that I have been playing it is more resistant to bruising and bleeding. The first couple of times he use the metal BBQ brush on me as a paddle, I bled quite a bit. This time he “Played me to red” with the brush and I hardly bled at all. My Lord has spoken of this type of play in another thread, but essentially he uses one toy until he thinks that your body can’t take anymore and you let him know when you are ready for the next strike by getting back in position. Since I was already strapped into position on the bondage bed, I had to give a thumbs up. My back, ass and thighs are covered in little pin pricks from the brush, but I am not bruised and didn’t really bleed.
Whenever my Lord was not in the room, I spent time in the cage he built. He had suspended it from the ceiling and I could slowly rock it back and forth. It was a very soothing place and it helped calm me down. One thing that I had a difficult time with was space. His dungeon is a room in the basement; it isn’t all that small, but it was filled with different types of furniture for the weekend and it was crowded. I struggled with my claustrophobia sometimes.
It isn’t really small places that I have a hard time with, but being confined in any space, being inactive and not being able to leave. I get the same feeling in an airplane once it has landed or in the back of a car when it has stopped. I just have to get out. I am able to control the fear and not panic but it is a challenge. This is why my Lord chose to end the play. We lay down to rest for awhile and when I feel asleep the chemicals were still rushing through my body. When I woke up, I was terrified. I didn’t panic but I was not able to soothe myself like normal. He was no longer sure if he could continue the play without harming me. Since he was unsure, he took me out of the room.
It took about 24 hours to get my brain functioning again. I couldn’t concentrate or think straight and focusing on even simple conversation was difficult. I found that it helped to do a mental exercise; we played a game that requires thinking and planning and that helped quite a bit. When I sat still and rested I was just in this mental fog that I had trouble getting out of.
When I first came out of the room, I didn’t want to be touched or cuddled and just wanted a lot of space around me. It was an unusual feeling for me because I crave being touched by my Lord and alandra. Even now, the claustrophobic feeling comes back rather easily and I start feeling trapped.
I suspect that it will be quite some time before I digest everything that happened (if ever). It was fun, challenging and intense.
Knight's kyra
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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus
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