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AAkasha -> RE: Real life encounters (2/4/2011 2:50:11 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bindre
Being seduced is wonderful. I don't see what could possibly be wrong about it.
In fairness, Bindre, a few people on this thread have spelt out in very big letters what can go wrong with it. Also, I think it's pretty clear that one of the reasons why femdoms don't act the way you and I might want regarding such forcefulness is because they have this strong feeling that submales frequently underestimate just what results using it can lead to.
I think femdoms would be more willing to play with this kind of fire if they could feel sure that their target malesubs also knew the nature of that fire . . . .
Seduction, when done ethically, is far more dangerous for the woman than the man. If anything, when I look back at what I used to do, I realize that I could have been setting myself up for date rape or any number of situations if a guy thought he was entitled to various sex acts that were not on the agenda. But I never "targeted" macho guys, guys with a chip on their shoulder, etc.; still, there could have been a wolf in sheep's clothing.
If anything, I am way too conservative and ethical to get a man into a situation he'd truly regret, or agree to something he wasn't up for. The male fantasy of being "overtaken" or seduced is far more envelop-pushing than the reality; we're not talking about tricking a guy into getting tied up and then shoving a vibrator up his ass. That's a very simplified version of what a man thinks of, maybe, when he thinks of seduction beyond his capacity to get free. I am talking more about seducing a man to surrender to ideas and intimacy that is unchartered territory for him, where he isn't calling the shots, and in a situation where a woman makes it clear that she is sexually/sensually using him for her pleasure and is very clear about it, rather than letting him control the pace of seduction or sensual intimacy. More hardcore S&M, bondage, penetration, humiliation ALL comes later, after limits are explored and discussed.
But seducing a man who didn't know me 2 hours ago and then is agreeing to do stuff he's never done before - very hot, and yeah, I did that a lot. I don't anymore, and like I said, looking back, I think it was far more dangerous for me than any of the guys I 'victimized.'
I think empathy is very, very key to all of this. I go to painful lengths to read people. In the process of seduction, I purposely connected with men who were allowing me to control the pace. The way a man positions his body, the use of eye contact, the way he refers to himself, his reactions to phrases, all of these things give you a sense of a level of comfort a man has. It didn't hurt that while I was figuring out how to do all this in the way of innocent and experimental flirtation, I was also honing this skills for business reasons (in the corporate world of persuasion in high level business meetings when selling ideas to management).
Akasha
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