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Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 11:21:33 AM   
eagerbttm


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/11/2010
Status: offline 		I desperately want to be a bottom! Is it appropriate to "cuise" for a partner? As well as, how is the best way to start a conversation?
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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 11:26:06 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		By not showing your butt, first thing.

Seriously, there are lots of threads on here with good suggestions for getting started. Good Luck!

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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 1:13:02 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5
By not showing your butt, first thing.
Yeah, I think clowns, when they start with the bare ass or cock pictures.   Say hello, how are you?  Would you like to see my ass or cock pictures?    M

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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 1:16:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Adding My vote along with the two above.

I will give you credit, OP.  Most of us appreciate those who don't term themselves as a submissive if they know they are only interested in being a bottom.  You may want to focus your efforts specifically towards those who have their interest in topping as a part of their profile.


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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 1:19:40 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Most of us appreciate those who don't term themselves as a submissive if they know they are only interested in being a bottom.  You may want to focus your efforts specifically towards those who have their interest in topping as a part of their profile.
I agree with this, and it's great advice.   You can focus on finding a top, who likes what you like to have done to you.    M

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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 2:11:01 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW
Yeah, I think clowns, when they start with the bare ass or cock pictures.   Say hello, how are you?  Would you like to see my ass or cock pictures?    M


Uh, that's very nearly as bad, IMO.  If the first thing some strange man asks me is if I want to see his ass or his dick, my answer is going to be no if I even answer him at all.  Most likely that's just going to be an ignore/block/delete.


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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 4:05:25 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Honestly though, what is a guy who is a bottom supposed to do? How do you attract someone? This is a real problem. I don't know.

I'm a femdom who at times almost wants to redefine myself more as a "kinky top" or "sadist top" or "sensual sadist top" whatever...because I don't desire service, or romance, in exchange for BDSM. I don't want massages, I don't want my feet rubbed, I don't want a man doing my laundry or bartering activities in hopes of BDSM in return.

But while I am open to bdsm, no strings, no sex (just S&M) relationships with men from time to time, what has to be present is eye-popping, undeniable chemistry. So he has to either have a certain somethin-somethin that gets my motor running right out of the gate (and be able to back it up by not being weird), or he has to engage my interest enough to get to know me so that chemistry can develop. I prefer to seduce and be predatory, though, so really, he has to just "get on my radar" and stay there, and let fate do the rest.

Not many men want to stick around and put that kind of time and effort into it - really, why would they? If they just want to be "topped," they really can spend, for example, 25 hours and 3 months getting to know me (random number), or consider his time is worth $500 for that same effort, and go pay a pro femdom for a session - and I don't blame him.

It's a no win :)

Akasha

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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 4:55:52 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't think of it so much as a no win.  I think of it more as pick the "win" that works for you.

Spend the time to get to know someone (may or may not be interested in the person, but just the activities).

Decide your time is more valuable than money and just pay the pro.

Take the gamble of going to the club in hope (not guarantee) of play.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 5:53:45 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW
Yeah, I think clowns, when they start with the bare ass or cock pictures.   Say hello, how are you?  Would you like to see my ass or cock pictures?    M
Uh, that's very nearly as bad, IMO.  If the first thing some strange man asks me is if I want to see his ass or his dick, my answer is going to be no if I even answer him at all.  Most likely that's just going to be an ignore/block/delete.
LnT, I didn't mean this is the ideal courtship introduction.   I meant it more like, even when approaching a hooker, be courteous, lol.    M

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RE: Cruising? Is it appropriate - 2/4/2011 6:12:58 PM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Go to a local dungeon... and pick a lady out who is interesting to you... address her as protocol requires and ask if she might be interested in playing.. there are lots of both men and women interested in casual play.. go the munches and get to know people as they get to know you and realize your a bottom player .. you never know you might find a ltr with someone looking to be a service top.. good luck to you..

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