Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the window when it comes to your favorite fetish?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the window when it comes to your favorite fetish?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the window when it comes to your favorite fetish?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the window... - 2/8/2011 6:48:03 AM

TotallyDude

Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
Status: offline

I've been reading these boards for a few days now and I see the people who know the score saying all the right things, and that's cool.

Respect...hmmm....yes....quite..... [twirls mustache looks thoughtful]

Dynamic....oh sure well....everybody wants one of those [strokes beard meaningfully]

Yes...yes...it IS all about communication.....[sips a White Russian soulfully]

And straight up, I don't think that's a load of jive or anything. But I will go to my grave believing we all have a few predilections, silly superficial urges, that make us jump out of our skin like a cartoon mouse who has just seen a ghost. Maybe it's a particular kind of play. Maybe it's a particular kind of shoe. Maybe it's just a gesture and a pose that we've singled out and jizzed over often enough that it's become sexually sacred.

So if you find a woman who offers that, who is wiggling the kryptonite to your self-control around on her finger, how much do all your high ideals fly out the window? I don't mean would you play with her, because I don't think anything is wrong with casual play, that's no big deal. I mean if you found a woman you would otherwise not want to be involved with who happened to be the perfect person to satisfy your hottest, most invasive purely sexual urge and the only way you could get her to keep doing it was to involve yourself in a relationship/dynamic with her, how tempted would you be?

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

Post #: 1

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 6:49:49 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am going to say it depends entirely on the man, his maturity, self control, and his goals.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 2

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 7:06:34 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Not to mention that doing it with the wrong person might teach him he didn't need it as badly as he thought he did.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 3

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 7:09:56 AM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

i have poor impulse control. i would probably be pretty tempted.

pam

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 4

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 7:18:27 AM

TotallyDude

Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i have poor impulse control. i would probably be pretty tempted.

pam

Yeah. I agree with the other posters that this speaks poorly of my own impulse control but I'm not going to lie, there are a few things that can sweep me off my feet and make my head spin no matter how together I think I have it.

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 5

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 10:10:41 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
So if you find a woman who offers that, who is wiggling the kryptonite to your self-control around on her finger, how much do all your high ideals fly out the window? I don't mean would you play with her, because I don't think anything is wrong with casual play, that's no big deal. I mean if you found a woman you would otherwise not want to be involved with who happened to be the perfect person to satisfy your hottest, most invasive purely sexual urge and the only way you could get her to keep doing it was to involve yourself in a relationship/dynamic with her, how tempted would you be?

Presumably, if the woman you're talking about is somehow so tantalizing to me that she can "wriggle my self control around on her little finger" then by definition I'd be very tempted, right?

But that's a hypothetical situation for me. I don't get sexually attracted to strangers. My sexual attraction starts with an emotional and physical attraction. If the emotional part were a big "no", then so would the sexual part. In general, I don't even allow friends into my life who I "would otherwise not want to be involved with". To the best of my ability, I surround myself with good, strong, capable and likable individuals.

For me, it has nothing to do with impulse control. It wouldn't even get that far. If I thought this woman was not desirable for a relationship, I wouldn't think she was desirable for sex either.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 6

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 10:20:52 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i have poor impulse control. i would probably be pretty tempted.

pam

This is me. It's gotten me into some less than stellar situations and I wish i had a lid on it completely but I do not. I'd probably end up doing whatever it was that tempted me. There is one thing that gives me strength though and that is to be with someone I truly love and to be married. I can walk away then. Otherwise forget it.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 7

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 10:41:22 AM

TotallyDude

Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
Status: offline

quote:

For me, it has nothing to do with impulse control. It wouldn't even get that far. If I thought this woman was not desirable for a relationship, I wouldn't think she was desirable for sex either.

I admire your ability, perhaps your natural impulse, to correlate self-interest and desire so happily. It's a concept I will always admire and, most likely, always only admire.

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 8

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 2:44:53 PM

SlevinKelevra

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline

As Johnny Cash once said " Every man has his favourite drink, but some just don´t know when they had too much of it and want more, and some amongst them are dumb enough to drive through a tornado to get it"

Same comes for fetishes....if a guy likes licking boots, he can do it without having an impact on his normal life other than checking a girl in boots or seeing them on a windo at a store and thinking about buying them for his loved Mistress, or mate. But others can go as far as to ask a girl in a frat party to ler him lick hers.

It´s all about how bad you want it and how much you can do to get it, or better, how far you have to go for it when you can´t just ignore the urge.

< Message edited by SlevinKelevra -- 2/8/2011 2:46:12 PM >

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 9

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 3:19:12 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

TotallyDude, I think that is a great question.

For me, whatever makes me shiver, shake and moan would never on it's OWN merit make me do anything to get it with anyone who could offer it.

Tragically, for me, I only want the shiver, shake and moan thingie with a particular person who initially brought it out in me (us).

So, trying to replicate that with anyone is usually a recipe for disaster and casual is just not my thing.

Tragically. Because I would be having so much more fun if it was.

(in reply to SlevinKelevra)

Post #: 10

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 3:26:02 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i have poor impulse control. i would probably be pretty tempted.

pam

This is me. It's gotten me into some less than stellar situations and I wish i had a lid on it completely but I do not. I'd probably end up doing whatever it was that tempted me. There is one thing that gives me strength though and that is to be with someone I truly love and to be married. I can walk away then. Otherwise forget it.

Well, apologies to the OP, but i wasn't referring to casual play, but to the fact that i tend to develop crushes on the wrong people, even though i know it's stupid.

pam

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 11

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 7:40:03 PM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline

Dude-
I have come very, very close to compromising my standards when the little dude down low somehow took an elevator to the top floor, temporarily tied up the big dude at the controls, and took control of the wheel for a few days..... I found myself doing things that I swore--promised myself I wouldn't do--I broke all of my own rules....and without going into the sordid details, found myself at the checkout counter at Rite Aid, buying a box of condoms and heading off to screw a woman I didn't know and didn't trust. At the very last minute, the big dude (the smart one) regained control of my brain, hit the "cold feet" button and I got out of it. (that woman was not a nice person....abusive...crazy as crazy gets--and icing on the cake, had herpes--it would have been disastrous)

So my point here-- it wasn't so much that she was willing to indulge in my favorite fetish--it's just that when someone gets lonely enough or horny enough....it gives the little head a window of opportunity to take charge of the big head. It was a very scary and sobering thing for me--I never really knew how powerful sexual urges can be! thank goodness good judgment prevailed in the end for me.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 12

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/8/2011 9:21:11 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

i do tend to have impulse control with my adhd but my Mistress has helped al ot in that so if i do not get Her aproval then i do not do it. the paxil and strattera help a great deal with that now.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to hausboy)

Post #: 13

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 1:14:16 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

I mean if you found a woman you would otherwise not want to be involved with who happened to be the perfect person to satisfy your hottest, most invasive purely sexual urge and the only way you could get her to keep doing it was to involve yourself in a relationship/dynamic with her, how tempted would you be?

Greetings,

I generally don't separate the two. I exert odd risks in this area of my life and if he trips my switch it's probable it's a physical and mental connection. In that case I'm probably all in if we're both on the same page. For me, sexual attraction doesn't automatically mean I want to bed him. But when he seeps into my crawlspace and presents a form that I find deliciously irresistible it's a go.

Based on the angle you've presented it would be a total wash. That's akin to playing with fire and it's sure to blow up in my face because we're after different things. However, there are men that I wouldn't get involved with because it would be hazardous to my health but that doesn't diminish their suitability for a delightful tryst. In all instances he is someone I would partner with but other circumstances (mine/his/ours) prevent that from occurring.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 14

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 7:47:40 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
I've been reading these boards for a few days now and I see the people who know the score saying all the right things...
Yes...yes...it IS all about communication.....[sips a White Russian soulfully]Do real Doms drink mixed drinks?

So if you find a woman who offers that, who is wiggling the kryptonite to your self-control around on her finger, how much do all your high ideals fly out the window? I don't mean would you play with her, because I don't think anything is wrong with casual play, that's no big deal. I mean if you found a woman you would otherwise not want to be involved with who happened to be the perfect person to satisfy your hottest, most invasive purely sexual urge and the only way you could get her to keep doing it was to involve yourself in a relationship/dynamic with her, how tempted would you be?

Unless one goes trough life following "the good man's (or woman's) recipe for success in this society, with one's head up his/her own a$$, it would be difficult not to find self in this space, asking "I was never attracted to this look, why am I so into him?"

Why would I ever say, THERE IS NO WAY, I'd be caught in a relationship with this human being who makes me feel alive with energy 24hours/day? Unless said person is married, or I found him so emotionally repulsive, so he wouldn't be near me in the first place, I don't imagine I would. I have said it, but I wouldn't consider myself, at the time, at my most mature, or being a person of highest integrity, talking the talk, and walking the walk. M

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 15

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 8:57:59 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i have poor impulse control. i would probably be pretty tempted.

pam

This is me. It's gotten me into some less than stellar situations and I wish i had a lid on it completely but I do not. I'd probably end up doing whatever it was that tempted me. There is one thing that gives me strength though and that is to be with someone I truly love and to be married. I can walk away then. Otherwise forget it.

Well, apologies to the OP, but i wasn't referring to casual play, but to the fact that i tend to develop crushes on the wrong people, even though i know it's stupid.

pam

The italicized portions apply to me as well. I find I am magnetized to the relationships that would pan out to be not in my best interests.

But my standards such as no drugs, no STDs, intelligence, maturity, patience are resolute and ingrained. Stepping back helps curb my impulses.

As of late I have not been too interested in very many people and those that I am interested in are either too far away or I do not meet their standards.

So be it.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 16

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 1:46:05 PM

hipsterkittyxo

Posts: 35
Joined: 2/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
So if you find a woman who offers that, who is wiggling the kryptonite to your self-control around on her finger, how much do all your high ideals fly out the window? I don't mean would you play with her, because I don't think anything is wrong with casual play, that's no big deal. I mean if you found a woman you would otherwise not want to be involved with who happened to be the perfect person to satisfy your hottest, most invasive purely sexual urge and the only way you could get her to keep doing it was to involve yourself in a relationship/dynamic with her, how tempted would you be?
Presumably, if the woman you're talking about is somehow so tantalizing to me that she can "wriggle my self control around on her little finger" then by definition I'd be very tempted, right?

But that's a hypothetical situation for me. I don't get sexually attracted to strangers. My sexual attraction starts with an emotional and physical attraction. If the emotional part were a big "no", then so would the sexual part. In general, I don't even allow friends into my life who I "would otherwise not want to be involved with". To the best of my ability, I surround myself with good, strong, capable and likable individuals.

For me, it has nothing to do with impulse control. It wouldn't even get that far. If I thought this woman was not desirable for a relationship, I wouldn't think she was desirable for sex either.

Amen.

_____________________________

♥
. ♥／l、
（ﾟ､｡７
　l、 ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 17

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 2:16:21 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
So if you find a woman who offers that, who is wiggling the kryptonite to your self-control around on her finger, how much do all your high ideals fly out the window? I don't mean would you play with her, because I don't think anything is wrong with casual play, that's no big deal. I mean if you found a woman you would otherwise not want to be involved with who happened to be the perfect person to satisfy your hottest, most invasive purely sexual urge and the only way you could get her to keep doing it was to involve yourself in a relationship/dynamic with her, how tempted would you be?
Presumably, if the woman you're talking about is somehow so tantalizing to me that she can "wriggle my self control around on her little finger" then by definition I'd be very tempted, right?

But that's a hypothetical situation for me. I don't get sexually attracted to strangers. My sexual attraction starts with an emotional and physical attraction. If the emotional part were a big "no", then so would the sexual part. In general, I don't even allow friends into my life who I "would otherwise not want to be involved with". To the best of my ability, I surround myself with good, strong, capable and likable individuals.

For me, it has nothing to do with impulse control. It wouldn't even get that far. If I thought this woman was not desirable for a relationship, I wouldn't think she was desirable for sex either.

I have to say, I really liked and respected this post/position. M

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 18

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 4:43:34 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I have no standards.......whats the problem.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 19

RE: Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the wi... - 2/9/2011 6:06:46 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
I admire your ability, perhaps your natural impulse, to correlate self-interest and desire so happily. It's a concept I will always admire and, most likely, always only admire.

Nicely said.

Hoh yes, I'll act on 'those silly superficial urges', all right. I won't forget travelling four hours to meet a woman from CM just because she said something that clicked with my favest kink of all. But, these days, as opposed to those of my callow youth, that's a rare event. I won't usually go as far as to get together with a woman entirely on the basis of those urges. Once, I could be with a woman and *not even notice* that vat full of vinegar that was her personality. Nowadays, it'll obtrude onto my consciousness even if I don't want it to (which, actually, I don't, quite a lot of the time).

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Sub guys: How much do your standards go out the window when it comes to your favorite fetish?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109