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Vaseline - 2/9/2011 8:01:55 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike.  He doesn't have much  luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.  It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's  quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever  the bike is  outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.  It protects it  from the  rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.  Naturally, they take the bike  there.

But just  before they enter the  house, Sandra  stops him and says, 'I have to tell you  something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the  dishes.'

'No problem,'  he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living  room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on  the stairs, in the  corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty  dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of  the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a  word.  So he stands  up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her  on  the table, and  screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His  girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is  obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom.....

Joe thinks to himself, 'Geez, she's got a great body!'

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way right there on the dinner table. After mom has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming.
But  still, Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it  starts  to rain.

Joe remembers  his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father jumps up and shouts....

'I'll do the fucking dishes!!!'


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"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

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RE: Vaseline - 2/9/2011 8:19:27 PM   
Hillwilliam


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A long one but worth the wait.

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RE: Vaseline - 2/9/2011 8:58:37 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


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Soooooooooooo worth the last line!!!!! 

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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RE: Vaseline - 2/9/2011 9:31:37 PM   
WyldHrt


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Joined: 6/5/2008
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Love a good shaggy dog story! 

Funny true story- One day, I was going to the nearby grocery to pick up a 50lb bag of carrots for the critters at work. As I was about to leave, my very straight laced vanilla boss said, "Hey, while you're there, would you mind picking up a jar of Vaseline? The biggest they have would be great."

I looked at him dead in the eye and replied, "If you think I'm going through the grocery store checkout with 50lbs of carrots and a super sized tub of Vaseline, you are out of your fucking mind."

He turned about 60 shades of red in as many seconds... and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day



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RE: Vaseline - 2/10/2011 10:20:11 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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Wyld,  the funniest stories are the true ones.  Gotsta love it.    Straight-laced bosses are the most clueless around and embarrassing them can be the most fun, and it's always worth the effort.  

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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RE: Vaseline - 2/10/2011 10:23:02 AM   
LadyPact


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