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Extended scene - 2/9/2011 11:00:41 PM

AlexAussieSub

Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
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Hi everyone,

I have taken a break from the online BDSM community for a very long time, to focus on meeting people offline. But now I am looking for some advice on a scene I plan on doing soon, that will be a venture into unknown territory for both my Domme and myself.

What we are planning on doing is renting a house / apartment / condo (in the same neighbourhood as her house) for 1 month, where I will live the lifestyle 24/7 for that month (I have a one month gap between contracts). She will come and visit regularly to play, and the rest of the time I will spend in the house by myself. We are going to get something like leg irons or a ball and chain that I will wear throughout the month.

We have done scenes like this over a 24 hour period, but never anything longer. I would be very interested in hearing from anyone more knowledgeable about this type of play. What type of issues do you think are likely to arise?

I am slightly concerned that she might be biting off more than she can chew regarding the amount of time this is going to need compared to the time she has available. She works as a Pro Domme at a BDSM parlour about 20 minutes from her house, and is on call every day. Also she is a single mother with a 5 year old son. I have never been in a relationship with a woman with children before, and I have no idea how much time she is going to need to spend looking after her child.

Another issue is safewords. When we have played in the past we have never used them, instead she has ordered me to tell her if I am in danger of any injury, then she decides what action to take. We do negotiate limits before we engage in any play though. Regarding our upcoming scene, she wants me to agree that I will not be able to "back out" and end the scene midway through the month, unless for some serious medical reason. Should I agree to this? Every 24 hour scene that we have done, both of us have always been eager to continue, however we have had things to do in "the real world".

What kind of place would be best for this type of scene, especially regarding privacy? Would a house, apartment or condo be better? She has brought up the possibility of a hotel room or motel room, but I am worried about privacy if we go down this avenue.

We have also discussed an alternative option to the 24/7 for one month idea, which is to rent a house / apartment / condo etc. for a period of several months. I would have work committments, so I would to leave to go to work in the morning and come back in the evening. Apart from this time we would be "in role". After a 3 month period we would have a discussion about what shape our future relationship would take.

I would be very interested in hearing people's thoughts on this. Thanks in advance :)

< Message edited by AlexAussieSub -- 2/9/2011 11:05:08 PM >

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RE: Extended scene - 2/10/2011 5:16:28 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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So she swings by, does something to you, then goes and gets her child and you don't see her until the morning again. In the meantime you're all chained up. What happens if the house catches on fire? How do you escape?

For something like this, it helps if you have a way out in case you need it. A key in a sealed envelope. If you open the envelope for no reason, then she'll know. If you don't have an emergency it doesn't get opened.

But if you're always at your place chained up, then who goes to the grocery store? Who does the cooking and cleaning?

I can see that you can't just move in since you don't know her child. But why not while she's working, you go clean her place, you prepare a meal for her to heat up when she gets home? You be of some use to her instead of just another topping job.

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RE: Extended scene - 2/10/2011 7:24:51 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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Ask yourself these questions:

what's the point? Is this hot for you? Hot for her?

Where will you come in the hierarchy of her life, remembering she has a child and a job?

If you're here asking strangers if you should do this, should you really do this?

Is this a fantasy?

What happens when an emergency arises and she's with a client? in a doctor's office with her child? Name whatever here?

What happens when a utility or public works type person knocks on the door?

Can you afford this?

Again, what's the point?

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RE: Extended scene - 2/10/2011 7:45:46 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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a hotel would be pretty expensive for a month. if you're going to do a lot of loud impacty stuff, a house is always your best bet for privacy because you aren't sharing any walls with anyone.
but i guess i don't really understand what being chained up for a month is going to tell either of you about how you would enjoy a 24/7 lifestyle. 24/7 isn't really about being chained up and played with all the time. how are you going to get food? how are you going to take baths? are you both going to keep an eye on the chained bits to make sure the skin isn't deteriorating?

i think you may be right in your thought that she's possibly biting off more than she can chew -- keeping someone restrained actually seems to result in more work for the D, not less. things that you could do for yourself suddenly become his/her responsibility for putting you in that situation.

is she trying to teach you to rely on her for basic needs? there are lots of other ways to do that.
what happens if she's busy and the place catches on fire? or you fall and hurt yourself, and she's not planning on coming back for 14 hours? you have to plan for emergencies.

i guess i don't really understand this method...

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RE: Extended scene - 2/10/2011 8:00:06 AM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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As far as the part of how much time she'll need to look after the child...a lot. You said she's a single mother and the child is 5, where is this child most of the time- with it's mother? In school? Here in the states a child starts kindergarten at age 5 or thereabouts and is gone for half the school day unless they are in a full day program. So the typical time she would be free if Aussies start half day school at the same age is like 3ish hrs....? That's not a whole lot, besides that young kids just take up a lot of time (especially when there is one parent) and get sick fairly often. Plus she works. I honestly don't think she'd have much time to spend with you.

I'm going to touch lightly on the the fact as well that if she is a single parent then she is obviously the only parent this child has, and should be spending her time raising her child instead of playing sexual games. I know, I've been there and done that and practiced what I preached and my son is this day a pride and joy with a good solid foundation under his feet. I got one chance at that and while I made mistakes, I did try my best and spent a whole lot of time with him rather than having fun. His childhood didn't last forever and I was able to spend more time doing what I liked later on with the knowledge that I did what I thought was right way back when. There is nothing like being able to look back at a job well done no matter what it is and knowing you did the right thing. Forgive me for be presumptive in mentioning that, but I felt qualified to touch upon the subject.

Knowing the fickle nature of things you'd need a emergency key to get out of the cuffs or whatever. She's just not available enough to have it be different. Even if she were around constantly, you know the second she stepped out the door the place would start on fire. I've been around too long and seen some really weird things happen, ask me sometime how I broke my arms in 7 places last summer while RIDING A BIKE. Doesn't seem possible but shit happens. So a responsible thing to do with being unattended as often as you'd be would be, is to make sure you weren't putting your life needlessly at risk for whatever stupid trick the universe would decide to play.

As far as the type of place goes anywhere that is more remote from neighbors is a better bet. My Dom is in the process of looking for a new place and he gives more priority to the places without close neighbors. We are private people and don't really relish the thought of anyone else knowing even a little of our business. The noises, the fact that you wouldn't be visible but she would be, those things might concern someone observing the situation. I know a lot of people who would take it upon themselves to 'help' you out and report someone in trouble. Do you want to run the risk of being front page news and having everyone in town know what you and your Domme are doing? That part is up to you. For myself it would be unacceptable.

One other thing that I picked up in your profile...
You have a high physical activity level much like my own which is probably why I made a note of it. Are you willing to let your health and overall condition wane for the sake of playing a game? Granted it's not a huge length of time, one month, and depending on what you choose - cuffs, chains, etc - you could still work out in the house but I'm not sure I'd be up for that. My activity level and therefore my health is a top priority in my own life, if it doesn't matter to you that much then fine. I had to let things go while I recuperated from my accident and it was about 3 months before I could work out again and I hated it.

Good luck in your decision.

< Message edited by lizi -- 2/10/2011 8:03:28 AM >

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