Relocation

Relocation (Full Version)

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subtotry -> Relocation (2/10/2011 2:46:33 PM)
Has anyone relocated for their Dom? I would like to know the good and the bad, how many visits were made and if any went out of country?

sexyred1 -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 3:00:49 PM)
There was a long recent thread on this very topic; try search, it was only a few weeks ago.

subtotry -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 3:25:26 PM)
I have read a lot, but I am looking about as far as one could go...another continent...

GreedyTop -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 3:29:54 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/searchpro.asp?phrase=relocating&author=&forumid=ALL&topicreply=both&message=body&timeframe=%3E&timefilter=0&language=single&top=300&criteria=AND&minRank=0&sortMethod=d&submitbutton=+OK+ Take your pick. Lots of relocation posts.

leadership527 -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 3:41:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtotry I have read a lot, but I am looking about as far as one could go...another continent... If you're looking at another country and another continent, then there are whole issues here that have nothing to do with BDSM. You might google for expat forums. At a bare minimum, do you have a clear idea on how you'll get back AND land safely if it all goes belly up? Do you have CASH IN THE BANK to fund that? Also, I'd strongly recommend not discounting the stress levels involved. Carol and I went to Canada from the US and that was pretty stressful despite the fact that Canada isn't very foreign from a US standpoint.

Elisabella -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 4:57:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtotry Has anyone relocated for their Dom? I would like to know the good and the bad, how many visits were made and if any went out of country? Yeah I moved from the US to Australia. Only 1 visit, open-ended on a tourist visa, I chilled here for a year then went back home to get a permanent visa when he proposed. The good - I get to be with the man I love. And the new country is pretty cool, more civilized and stable than the old one. The bad - expat depression. Loneliness, feeling like an outsider, self conscious about my accent, different cultural memories, different food and lifestyle, all my friends are back home. It's really hard to move to another country and leave your support network behind. I imagine it would be even harder if you're learning a new language.

Ishtarr -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 5:31:22 PM)
I moved for a pervious Master from Belgium to the usA. I visited 3 times, over the span of a year, about a month at a time each. All in all, I knew him about a year and a half and had seen him about 3 months in person (though not continuously) before moving in. I miss all the things Elisabella mentioned: friends, habits, different cultural background, not really fitting in, and the food... man I miss the food... I swear it's the small weird thing you end up missing like you wouldn't believe foodwise... your favorite candy, drink, charcuterie, bread, vegetable... On top of that I'm living in a country that speaks a different language than my country of origin, which ends up being very annoying/confusing/estranging sometimes. My relationship ended up not working out for reasons that have nothing to do with the move, and I decided to stay, for a variety of reasons that really have nothing to with America per say. Would I do it again? Yes... for the right man, without question, I'd do it again. I don't regret anything about the move itself.

littlewonder -> RE: Relocation (2/10/2011 6:52:36 PM)
not another continent but another state. I did it when I got married when I was young, I did it 13 years ago for the ex Dom and I will be doing it again extremely soon. I personally don't mind moving and have a job that is pretty common and transferrable so it's never been a huge problem for me and I like moving to new places and traveling. I've also moved around a lot in my lifetime since I was young so it's never been a huge deal for me.

subtotry -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 9:17:05 AM)
Austrailia is where I am looking into...i know I need more time but I know what I want, right away...

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 11:12:03 AM)
i moved country i stayed with him twice before moving in with him. was the best thing i ever did. ok it helped i was moving back to my home country i had been an xpat

StrongSpirit -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 5:55:41 PM)
I have to ask. Elisabella, Ishtarr and phoenixmoonn13 What made you decide to come to the US after so little contact? Did the Dom fund the transfer?

subtotry -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 5:56:48 PM)
I would love to talk to you more...can you email or message me? I would like to know about Austrailia and what part you are in etc...i am [email protected]

Ishtarr -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 6:25:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit What made you decide to come to the US after so little contact? I didn't consider it "so little contact". I had known him for a long time, dated him for a year long distance with daily contact (multi-hour phone calls ever single day), and lived with him for 3 months before moving in. Because of our very very frequent phone calls, I probably talked to him more and about less irrelevant things (because we didn't have dates and movies and activities to distract from the conversation) than I have with any other guy ever, before moving in. I've moved in with other men sooner than that, though staying in the same country. The cross ocean move didn't intimidate me as much as most people I guess. quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit Did the Dom fund the transfer? Nope, he never payed any of the visa fees, airfares or any of the other costs involved with the visits, or the move. I ended up spending a total of about 9.000-15.000 USD (depending on which things you count falling under "moving costs" and which fall under "living expenses in the US") on the combined airfares and visa fees, out of my own pocket.

Elisabella -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 6:25:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit I have to ask. Elisabella, Ishtarr and phoenixmoonn13 What made you decide to come to the US after so little contact? Did the Dom fund the transfer? I didn't move to the US, I left the US, but to answer your question yes, he bought the plane ticket and I stayed with him. As far as why...why not? It was a chance to meet a great guy. I tend to be impulsive, and it tends to work out fairly well for me.

KMsAngel -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 6:38:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: subtotry Has anyone relocated for their Dom? I would like to know the good and the bad, how many visits were made and if any went out of country? Yeah I moved from the US to Australia. Only 1 visit, open-ended on a tourist visa, I chilled here for a year then went back home to get a permanent visa when he proposed. The good - I get to be with the man I love. And the new country is pretty cool, more civilized and stable than the old one. The bad - expat depression. Loneliness, feeling like an outsider, self conscious about my accent, different cultural memories, different food and lifestyle, all my friends are back home. It's really hard to move to another country and leave your support network behind. I imagine it would be even harder if you're learning a new language. i've been here 21.5 yrs and i still sometimes feel like an outsider, and miss certain foods and lifestyles (24 hr groceries, how i miss you!) definitely. only, now, i've been here so long, i also feel like an outsider in the US as well. and when you find out what the translation of "stone the crow" is, please let me know.[;)]

Phoenixpower -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 6:43:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella The bad - expat depression. Loneliness, feeling like an outsider, self conscious about my accent, different cultural memories, different food and lifestyle, all my friends are back home. It's really hard to move to another country and leave your support network behind. I imagine it would be even harder if you're learning a new language. Well said [:)][:o] I moved from Germany to Ireland, then later from Germany to England and my next step will most likely be from England to New Zealand. In my case I don't have much ties left at home, of course when I go home I meet regular a few longterm friends, but family wise I am not bothered to be at home, so once I accepted not to look back too much home I was fine with living abroad. Now, remaining in the UK is not my interest, hence why my next move is in planning. So far I didn't move for a Dom but only first time (Ireland) out of curiousity (I know now the meaning of curiousity killed the cat) and to here as my job market collapsed back home at that time. Now there is plenty work again back home but due to family reasons I prefer to remain in another country and as I did a degree in the UK that enables me to get the visa to NZ, hence why my focus is on there...at least most of the time [:)]

Phoenixpower -> RE: Relocation (2/11/2011 6:48:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KMsAngel i've been here 21.5 yrs and i still sometimes feel like an outsider, and miss certain foods and lifestyles (24 hr groceries, how i miss you!) definitely. only, now, i've been here so long, i also feel like an outsider in the US as well. and when you find out what the translation of "stone the crow" is, please let me know.[;)] I totally agree...it just feels weird by now when I go home as it just isn't the same anymore with so many things which changed during the years (people who died, shops who closed, houses who got demolished, etc.) The changes in my own country feel overwhelming at times as I take them in all in once, whereas at home they see one thing happening after another. Regarding 24 hour shopping, I actually miss the times where shops are closed...sundays shops are closed (at least to 98%), some villages still close shops wednesday afternoon and saturday afternoon...I am not a fan of this 24/7 people rushing around and miss the silent roads due to shops being closed which is the case at home.

BitaTruble -> RE: Relocation (2/17/2011 10:58:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtotry Has anyone relocated for their Dom? I would like to know the good and the bad, how many visits were made and if any went out of country? Several times actually. First was just moving around the US. Moved from CA to Utah, then to MN. From MN moved to Portugal, then to Italy. We are back, temp, in the US but are planning a move to Singapore as soon as our Visas come through which could take a few more months. In a nutshell, if he'll have me.. where he goes, I go. We have been together for about 15 years.. I've spent 13 of those in his collar and six of them wearing his wedding ring. As far as funding.. most of the funding was done at company expense as will be the move to Singapore so neither of us were out substantial sums. The good (best really) is that I get to be with him. Other good stuff.. living in Europe for a few years enabled us to see so much of that part of the world and experience the people and cultures offered. In addition to Portugal and Italy, we went to France, Germany, Switzerland (we only lived 45 mins from the border when we lived in Milan), Ireland, The Netherlands, Spain and other places which never would have happened if we hadn't moved. Now we are hoping to duplicate those sorts of side trips from a base in Singapore to hit up China, Japan and other spots in Asia and perhaps even India. Not so good stuff: the change in diet caused havvoc with my insides, being lonely because he was gone for work so often, sometimes days and weeks at a time so I was left alone in a country where I had yet to learn the language (and my Portuguese still sucks) and the time difference to speak with friends and family in the States was such that the window of opportunity was pretty limited. Also.. guilt.. especially when one of my children needed me.. when my dad got cancer and I wasn't here for him (he got better) and things like that. It's tough to make those kinds of choices but in the end, while I love my family and especially my grandchildren to death.. there is one great romantic love in my life and that's the Man Unit and for him, I would go to the ends of the Earth and if there are times when I cry or I am sad or feeling all alone, the alternative is much worse.

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Relocation (2/18/2011 7:32:32 AM)
i too dont consider we had little contact ok physically i was only with him twice for a week each time. but we talked at least once a day on the phone we lived in secondlife as its where we could be together and talk etc. and yes i probably did spend way too much time online but it was important to me. as fat as you can say on line is together we were probalby on at least 4 hours an absolute mimimum a day and days off a lot longer. i didnt move to teh us but the UK and i paid for it all if i had needed money he would have helped. would i do it again no becasue i dont ever intend for us to be apart but would i recomend it i would say yes of course go for it as long as it feels right and you know what you are doing.

AquaticSub -> RE: Relocation (2/19/2011 4:36:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtotry Has anyone relocated for their Dom? I would like to know the good and the bad, how many visits were made and if any went out of country? No. He moved to be closer to me because he got sick of the long-distance thing. Given that we are still together, married and in the process of another move, I'd say it worked out pretty well. [:)]

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