CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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You remind me of an old friend of mine who phoned me up, crying hard when she turned thirty years old, like it was the end of the world. I was a year or two older, an it was some odd comfort to her that I was more ancient than she was. 
Men can find women even when they are 30, 40, 50, and 60+. You are completing your education in Heidelberg, have just passed some kidney stones...sounds to me like you have a lot of stressful things going on in your life right now. Those kids who were making fun of someone with grey hair...if it bothers you when you start going grey, then remove the grey when it appears. My first boyfriend used hair dye for two years before I found out...he had left the dye bottle on top of the garbage can or I would never have figured it out. For him, this was a problem that would have lowered his self-esteem so he took care of it.
Men in my family go bald, lol, so my son will have hair loss issues in the next ten years that cannot be handled with dyes. I hope he will stand proud with dignity, and not allow teasing to make him cringe or feel...as if he is less.
You are really going to be out of luck if your future Domme likes you all grey and won't allow you to dye your hair...ah, the humiliation...all those kids teasing you for being an "old man". That could be fun for someone like me...forget any "forced femme", forced "oldness" for someone who is very sensitive to it...hm...some clothes your grandfather might have worn, a cane, some clear glass eye glasses...oooh, and an old hearing aid...and a shuffling walk... (Stop, you would be just too fun to torture, lol.)
Even if you went grey...or lost all of your hair...you would interest women just because of those lovely eyes.
Finish your studies. Look in Heidelberg for BDSM groups and go eat out in some restaurant with them. Your time will come eventually, if you have patience. By the way, soon I will be 47. There are fellow kinksters from 21 to their sixties who are interested in spite of my age...life does not end at 30. (My hair is still naturally blonde, not grey or white...I know, life isn't fair.)
If what you do in your free time makes you more depressed, making you think of castration and of becoming a monk (drinking enough to get a hangover), then maybe you need to find something else to do.
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RE: Seeking Help…… - 
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