lil confused

lil confused (Full Version)

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wrenchdoc -> lil confused (2/14/2011 4:01:04 PM)
I fully understand the just because you are a sub that doesn't make me your Master. and i applaud you women for some of the bad one liners used and those who pretend to be what there not, and how you deal with it. But what i do not understand is the lack of respect when some doms try to approach with an interest in finding out if what you are both seeking might be one another,And take the time to ask the questions to try to start a info exchange . Many lady subs don't even show the respect enough to at least replay even with a " Sorry I'm not interested." I read from a lot of female subs here want to be treated with respect and for a Master to be able to listen and be understanding. But it also seams a lot of the SUBs/SLAVES also are pretending to be what they are not. I seams that there are a lot a fakes here on both sides. I don't clam to be a Master but only a Dom male with a love of giving spankings and a few other kinks. Maybe I am not getting the CM site but so far its been a letdown .

littlewonder -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 4:07:13 PM)
One more time for the millionth time..... no reply IS a reply.

Lucylastic -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 4:18:09 PM)
Ive been here a number of years now and Ive met maybe six subs that I would consider possible "pets" if I were looking. Im not, but that doesnt stop the number of people who email me who are so far out of my interest zone that they might as well be living on the moon. If they arent messaging you back, they arent interested. It has nothing to do with rudeness, who has time to spend all day responding to people I have zero in common with and yes its a two way decision. No Courtesy, No rudeness... just no contact. I wish you luck in your search, personally I prefer to find out from what people type in the message boards over a period of time than leaping at every pretty chest or ass thats out there. He/She/ transferable according to your preference

NocturnalStalker -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 6:13:03 PM)
No reply is a full wallet.

playfulotter -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 6:25:30 PM)
My personal opinion of what you are seeking from reading your profile and your website is that it is a very specialized niche and it kind of made my skin crawl...but there are a few that might be right for you and yours. I would hazard a guess that those who are interested would have some problems that would make them a liability rather than an asset quite quickly to what you are seeking for the long term....

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 7:14:27 PM)
wrenchdoc, some might be using filters and never even see your letters. I don't know quite how that works because I don't use filters. Taking the time to answer every letter, even briefly, can take over six hours per day (that's how long I used to spend several years ago giving brief polite notes to everyone who wrote). It can take too much time out of someone's day, so the rudeness of not replying becomes necessary. As a male, you will never understand the sheer volume of mail females get...so a non-answer is an answer. You need another submissive who can go on the road with you, who would not mind that you have a wife and a slave already...and they would all have to get along. I have known few ladies who are willing to do that. With all the men available here at CM, she might prefer a one on one relationship and might simply not be interested in poly or the on-the-road lifestyle offered. Maybe you are nice about being turned down, but many males aren't...and get ugly when a woman sends a polite no thank you. I just got caught up on two pages of my mail, but am still behind. Being nice has too big of a price than most people are willing to pay...and pay...and pay. If it sounds like I am burning out a little...yep.

Phoenixpower -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 7:18:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wrenchdoc Many lady subs don't even show the respect enough to at least replay even with a " Sorry I'm not interested." Newsflash, many so called doms don't bother to reply either...as it has been said in my previous threads, humans are humans, and on here are not any more friendly or open minded humans than there are at your town or workplace...it's called life [8\|]

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 9:14:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker No reply is a full wallet. Worrying about a full wallet is a lonesome place to be. M

myotherself -> RE: lil confused (2/14/2011 11:18:27 PM)
OP - it could be that you are messaging people who simply aren't interested in a married man with a sub and nothing but sex and kink on his mind. When I was looking I made it clear on my profile who and what I was looking for. I would get messages from a lot of guys, and to minimise the amount of time I spent replying to the bucket-loads of mail, I would check out their profile. I wouldn't reply to their message if their profile: * was all about kink/sex and nothing else * contained pictures of their genitalia * contained pics of someone else's genitalia * was one long whine from beginning to end * was totally the opposite from what I said I was looking for (too old/young, married, etc) In that case, no reply is the most tactful reply I could give. edited for typo

FukinTroll -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 12:03:12 AM)
Can't argue with the logic my girls gave you here buddy. They would know better than any, D's in particular. It is their world we are just visiting. The coolest thing about this site is the girls get to set their standards... and I pray that bar is WAAAAAAYYYYY the fuk up there. That said, with a million D's to choose from, they are going to choose who or what is best for them. Be patient, read and learn, flesh out your profile... make sure that if you think sticking a feather duster up your ass makes you a chicken that your potential farm girl likes the way you think. YMMV

LaTigresse -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 3:50:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wrenchdoc I fully understand the just because you are a sub that doesn't make me your Master. and i applaud you women for some of the bad one liners used and those who pretend to be what there not, and how you deal with it. But what i do not understand is the lack of respect when some doms try to approach with an interest in finding out if what you are both seeking might be one another,And take the time to ask the questions to try to start a info exchange . Many lady subs don't even show the respect enough to at least replay even with a " Sorry I'm not interested." I read from a lot of female subs here want to be treated with respect and for a Master to be able to listen and be understanding. But it also seams a lot of the SUBs/SLAVES also are pretending to be what they are not. I seams that there are a lot a fakes here on both sides. I don't clam to be a Master but only a Dom male with a love of giving spankings and a few other kinks. Maybe I am not getting the CM site but so far its been a letdown . Dude, you are only special in YOUR tiny little part of the world. To everyone else.....you are just another blip on the radar AT BEST. No one out here owes you, or me, jack shit. Accept that fact and move on.

kalikshama -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 3:52:07 AM)
quote: When I was looking I made it clear on my profile who and what I was looking for. I would get messages from a lot of guys, and to minimise the amount of time I spent replying to the bucket-loads of mail, I would check out their profile. I wouldn't reply to their message if their profile: * was all about kink/sex and nothing else * contained pictures of their genitalia * contained pics of someone else's genitalia * was one long whine from beginning to end * was totally the opposite from what I said I was looking for (too old/young, married, etc) In that case, no reply is the most tactful reply I could give. This

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 4:34:15 AM)
As a submissive female, I get absolutely ridiculous questions from domly types in the first Cmail. I also get questions from male subs who want this and that, switches, married men and men who want poly. They haven't bothered to read my profile or just chose to ignore what's said in my written profile. Some will get biting answers, others I won't reply to. If I get a nice sensible cmail then yes, I will reply. But some are thanks but no thanks if I see there's too much difference in our interests.

sirsholly -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 4:40:54 AM)
quote: Many lady subs don't even show the respect enough to at least replay even with a " Sorry I'm not interested." Because you send a cmail you feel you automatically deserve respect? Respect is earned. You are owed nothing, and that includes a response.

kalikshama -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 4:50:20 AM)
quote: Many lady subs don't even show the respect enough to at least replay even with a " Sorry I'm not interested." I used to reply with one of the canned "sorry, not interested" messages, but since men would interpret this as a "maybe" rather than "not interested", I stopped. Also, a woman willing to join your wife and slave is going to be really, really hard to find. That doesn't make the sub women here "fakes", it makes you a unicorn hunter.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 4:53:59 AM)
Now, now, there you go http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0 [8\|]

sirsholly -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 4:55:50 AM)
quote: Also, a woman willing to join your wife and slave is going to be really, really hard to find. That doesn't make the sub women here "fakes", it makes you a unicorn hunter. [image]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/unicorn1.gif[/image] [image]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/14/14_6_16.gif[/image]

LillyBoPeep -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 4:55:53 AM)
Unless the message is ridiculous or mean, distasteful, or some other way unreadable, i try to at least send a "sorry, i am not looking for X-type of relationship." or i mention that i want a long-term relationship and i'd like to have kids, which seems impossible/unreasonable with men of a certain age. there's a difference between respect and common courtesy; everyone deserves courtesy until they show otherwise, and i feel that a simple "we probably aren't compatible, but good luck elsewhere" message is about courtesy. that said, wanting to have courtesy in return does not automatically make you a "fake" sub/slave. it's that "omgz ur sew fake cuz u wont do whut i want an we don't know eachotherz" shit that pisses so many people off. =p usually when disgruntled Ds start topics like this, they aren't talking about courtesy, they're talking about some unrealistic expectation they're placing on the women they write to, and that expectation is being denied. you have no right to expectations with someone you don't know. A LOT of people of any orientation don't write back to you; that's just how the online world is. getting butthurt and whining about it isn't very attractive. if you're feeling rejection, or wondering why in a constructive manner -- that's different. most people feel a little twinge when rejected, and wanting to fix up your profile or get some insight is a way to grow. but griping about how CM is filled with fakes, or how ever sub/slave who doesn't respond to fit your expectations is a fake... well that's really annoying, and we get threads like that at least once a week. it's possible that a person just doesn't see your messages; a lot of women have inboxes that flood and they can't keep up sometimes. or they are used to internet protocol and see a lower-cased name, have a knee-jerk reaction, and think "sub male, why is he writing me?" (note: i'm a sub with a capitalized name -though i lower-case it in chat b/c i get too many PMs from sub males- so internet protocol doesn't mean much to everyone, but that is a possibility.) and then if you write a message that pertains to NOTHING in the profile -- you didn't care enough to read a profile and see if someone was a good match to you before you wrote it, so why should they take the time to care enough and respond to someone who didnt do the same? some people just dont feel the need to send a message back; that's their business and whining about it doesn't change it. there are any number of reasons; being "fake" isn't one of them.

lizi -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 6:28:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wrenchdoc I fully understand the just because you are a sub that doesn't make me your Master. and i applaud you women for some of the bad one liners used and those who pretend to be what there not, and how you deal with it. But what i do not understand is the lack of respect when some doms try to approach with an interest in finding out if what you are both seeking might be one another,And take the time to ask the questions to try to start a info exchange . Many lady subs don't even show the respect enough to at least replay even with a " Sorry I'm not interested." I read from a lot of female subs here want to be treated with respect and for a Master to be able to listen and be understanding. But it also seams a lot of the SUBs/SLAVES also are pretending to be what they are not. I seams that there are a lot a fakes here on both sides. I don't clam to be a Master but only a Dom male with a love of giving spankings and a few other kinks. Maybe I am not getting the CM site but so far its been a letdown . We don't know what you're putting out there to these women, the content of your emails or what you're asking for. Different things are offensive to different people. You got comments already about mail volume, don't discount that. It's absolutely true that writing every person back with a no thanks could be just too much time for some. Maybe you are selecting people who aren't interested in what you are interested in - you got good feedback on that. I heartily agree that sometimes no answer is the most polite thing I can manage and the recipient would probably prefer that to the scathing comment I would otherwise give. Some of the things that women say in their profiles are completely ignored by the men who write so the women don't feel compelled to even reply because it's just so far off their grid. Things they put in the profile that are ignored continually like friends only, no long distance, no poly, no men, etc. Finally, you don't understand the degree of flak you get as a woman turning down offers. You get nasty things in the email box. It's easy to avoid that, you just ignore the offers you are not interested in. As it's been said to you...no reply is a reply. I'll finish with something I've said before. When you go out to your mailbox to get the mail do you sit down and send a reply to every catalog, donation request, local advertisement, etc that is in there? Even if these pieces of unsolicited mail are written by nuns and English teachers and are impeccably worded and exceedingly kind....do you send back a no thanks, I'm not interested in mobilized scooters today letter....? No? Then why should every woman that you write spend her time replying to something she is not interested in? You took it up on yourself to write her, why is she automatically beholden to write back? If she's not buying what you have to sell why is she committing the sin of bad manners by not putting forth the effort it takes to reply to every one trying to sell her something when she's not even in the market for it? And if she were, maybe she doesn't like the color, make, model, of what you've got to offer. She is perfectly entitled not to want to hear your sales pitch. This does not mean she is a fake, it means she isn't interested for reasons of her own in what you've got.

LadyPact -> RE: lil confused (2/15/2011 8:30:27 AM)
Normally, I don't go and read a person's profile over these kinds of things. For starters, you have different thoughts than I do on the matter of respect. Nobody owes respect. You might hope that someone will be courteous enough to answer the email you send, but to a stranger, just because you say you are a Dom doesn't mean you have earned the respect of anyone other than the people who are in your life. To somebody who doesn't know you, there is no level of respect unless they know you by reputation. Anyway, what part of the problem might be is who you are selecting to contact. As a poly person Myself, if I were sending out emails of introduction, I wouldn't be approaching anyone who didn't specifically have the box checked about being interested in joining a poly household. In My opinion, we poly folks really are the minority, so unless someone specifies they are interested in such a situation, it's safe to assume that they are monogamous types. A married man just isn't going to get a great response otherwise. As far as being poly, your profile doesn't really give much information on how the situation works for you. Are you looking for people for while you are on the road just for play or are you wanting actual additions to your household? This is also something that might be a contributing factor if you are having a low response rate.

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