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Something new - 5/4/2006 4:29:41 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I think we constantly need something new in our lives, like a new thread, for example 
When dealing with a slave or submissive that is under my control I like to incorporate new stages of play, new toys, new games, new inquiries, etc....
This, I firmly believe keeps the s not only on her toes but keeps the relationship exciting and dynamic vs. the holmdrums of repetition which may cause the relationship to grow stale or static.
How do you feel about my opinion on this subject and if you tend to agree can you share how these things apply to you and your relationships?
Fastlane is off to Petco to buy some new toys......Thanks for looking, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 6:29:47 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
When dealing with a slave or submissive that is under my control I like to incorporate new stages of play, new toys, new games, new inquiries, etc....


ummmmm......no offense but isn't this something that everyone does? I can't imagine a relationship where the same exact things are done day in and day out to last very long.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 7:21:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think if you have to constantly think about "the new" then you're working too hard.

New stuff should just come on its own- your mind and self will take you to new places if you let it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 8:00:14 AM   
SirMise


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		I've been approached by potential submissives, who have stated exactly what you are suggesting. They said their relatioship had grown boring. Not all slaves/submissives have dynamic Masters, just like all wives don't have dynamic husbands and girlfiiends have dynamic boyfriends....that is human nature.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 8:31:17 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear fastlane, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I do believe there should be an occassional "surprise" change in relationships however, I would caution about playing out all the possiblities all at once.

It is easy to get into a rut but, by changing things a bit with what already exists can help freshen the BDSM rut.

Taking spanking as an example.  With approximately 13 strokes, to use, one can then add gloves with texture, cream, water, fine crushed ice, etc.  Sensory play is a wonderful area to explore and use.  Using scents is another avenue to enhance a scene.  Motor oil and garage scents to aid in support of a garage setting, even if it might be the kitchen.  Sounds may be explored, using a variety of music from classical to modern, so much can be used by a creative mind.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 8:56:54 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I need the person in my life to do this. I need this because it shows they think about me. I think the reason why many women lose interest in sex is because their mates want to jump on and get it done. In BDSM the same thing can happen, spanking the same, pinching the same, always the same scene.... you know, nothing new. If it starts to feel that way for the sub she might start to do a vanilla "I gotta headache Master"...LOL

Not that is has to be a constant thing, but not years of the same thing either

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 5/4/2006 8:59:11 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 9:03:46 AM   
unquenchable


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I think we constantly need something new in our lives, like a new thread, for example 
When dealing with a slave or submissive that is under my control I like to incorporate new stages of play, new toys, new games, new inquiries, etc....
This, I firmly believe keeps the s not only on her toes but keeps the relationship exciting and dynamic vs. the holmdrums of repetition which may cause the relationship to grow stale or static.
How do you feel about my opinion on this subject and if you tend to agree can you share how these things apply to you and your relationships?
Fastlane is off to Petco to buy some new toys......Thanks for looking, Kevin


I believe both should be thinking up new things, buying new toys, and experimenting as much as possible.  

Who could say no to the element of surprise, the tingle of something new...Not me for sure.

When I get to the point with someone that I believe play may enter into the scene, I tend to ask if they are into me surprising them, maybe even finding a scene and getting things ready for it before he comes home....most love the idea.

un-------

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 9:43:47 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Sir Mise: I've been approached by potential submissives, who have stated exactly what you are suggesting. They said their relatioship had grown boring. Not all slaves/submissives have dynamic Masters, just like all wives don't have dynamic husbands and girlfiiends have dynamic boyfriends....that is human nature.


quote:

juliaoceania: I need the person in my life to do this. I need this because it shows they think about me. I think the reason why many women lose interest in sex is because their mates want to jump on and get it done. In BDSM the same thing can happen, spanking the same, pinching the same, always the same scene.... you know, nothing new. If it starts to feel that way for the sub she might start to do a vanilla "I gotta headache Master"...LOL


Wonder why the pervasive attitude is that submissives are in control? Look at these two posts. The "master" is responsible to keep the submissive entertained and excited? Is the idea that common and expected? How sad! I never knew that a Master's responsibility was to walk into a scene singing "Let Me Entertain You" while doing a strip tease for the amusement of his slave/submission. If your looking for this relationship on either side of the flogger, identify it for what it is, a service top or facilitator.

It's not "human nature" to become bored or boring; it's laziness and complacency. It's projecting what you are doing in the context of what the neighbor is doing and thinking it's better. Instead of waiting for your mate to "jump on and get it done" why aren't you responsible to make the jumping on a little more exciting and fun? And if that means going to Petco with Kevin for a new toy then it's a good idea. But if you identify as a sub and come back with that toy and hand it to your "master" and say; "do something with this to me." your dynamic is a bit skewered.

New toys, spontaneity, surprise; are ongoing joint projects and have ongoing joint responsibility.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 5/4/2006 10:15:24 AM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 9:53:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
New toys, spontaneity, surprise; are ongoing joint projects and have ongoing joint responsibility.

We all know that it's up to the master to cosntantly INSPIRE submission on the side of the sub. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 10:20:41 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

We all know that it's up to the master to cosntantly INSPIRE submission on the side of the sub.


Is it "wabbit" season yet???? Where's Elmer Fudd when you need him!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 11:43:48 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think new things can be a lot of fun.  Sometimes though the things you have always been doing you have been doing them cause they work.  Change is not always for the better.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 12:32:37 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		There's no wrong answer. Actually I just felt the Forum needed a new thread as the current ones were growing old, which had me thinking about some of the things that we continue to do eventually grow old as well. I believe that it is very easy to take your sub/slave for granted after you have been together for a long time. The relationships that I see succeed or the ones where the two continue to grow together and do continue to do and try new things. However, so many relationships fail because of the complatency that finds its way into it.
So, with that said, I can't wait to by some new toys at leatherfest this weekend!  I'll be damn if I'm going to let myself grow boring...LOL, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 12:39:44 PM   
SirMise


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		MercnBeth:   Wonder why the pervasive attitude is that submissives are in control? Look at these two posts. The "master" is responsible to keep the submissive entertained and excited? Is the idea that common and expected? How sad! I never knew that a Master's responsibility was to walk into a scene singing "Let Me Entertain You" while doing a strip tease for the amusement of his slave/submission. If your looking for this relationship on either side of the flogger, identify it for what it is, a service top or facilitator.

Yes, you are 100% correct and it appears that you are speaking from experience. So in essence it really takes two to constantly keep the excitement continuing in a relationship. Still, there are many failed M/s relationships because one of the two could not continue to expand and it became always the same ol thing, over and over again.....b-o-r-i-n-g

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 1:41:06 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think you took a statement out of context to project your own issue on to it. I take much interest into my partner's satisfation. I am a very imaginative person. You can make my statement into being about laziness all you would like, but I was replying to the OP and saying that it is wonderful to constantly try to think of ways to excite our mate, rather they be the top person or the bottom person. No doms are not the only person to be thinking of new things, but someone sure as hell better or it will die on the vine... it is up to everyone's individual dynamic that decides who the imaginative person is. My former dom liked to be the one to direct all the activity, my next one may want me to be the one that takes more initiative... It is all what exists between the two involved.

You do not decide who is a service top, a submissive, or a dom, or a master... it is the people involved in their dynamic that decide these things... how sad you take a paragraph or two out of context to label or judge others... it really isnt necessary.

But maybe I misunderstood your point, it is hard to know on a two-dimensional board what people, think, believe or are... even if you have been reading the same people over a long period or time. .. so if I miscontrued your post it was unintentional...

I have been wrong before and will be wrong again

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 1:55:55 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

We all know that it's up to the master to cosntantly INSPIRE submission on the side of the sub.


It is? Wow, I will have to look in the guide book, as I missed THAT chapter.

_____________________________





(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Something new - 5/4/2006 2:03:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
It is? Wow, I will have to look in the guide book, as I missed THAT chapter.

Oh yeah.  It's right after the chapter that explains that it's ok for the sub to be too insecure to communicate honestly AND upset with you for not fixing the problems.

BTW I like YOUR new avatar as well, the picture just gives a nice glow about you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Something new - 5/5/2006 6:55:32 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
It is? Wow, I will have to look in the guide book, as I missed THAT chapter.

Oh yeah.  It's right after the chapter that explains that it's ok for the sub to be too insecure to communicate honestly AND upset with you for not fixing the problems.

BTW I like YOUR new avatar as well, the picture just gives a nice glow about you.


LA,
You hit that one dead on...It is not full submission to me if I have to second guess every thought and action. I am a lot of things, but a mind reader is not one of them.

Thanks about my photo! I like yours too, but I liked your photo better <s>

_____________________________





(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Something new - 5/5/2006 7:54:36 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Good point MoGa.....It's hard enough trying to figure out what's going through my twisted mind...much less someone elses!

I like your photo too, BTW

I had mine up, then went to Avitar and now can't figure out how to get it back up again.......The photo, that is Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Something new - 5/6/2006 3:00:20 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Kevin,

You are going to leatherfest without me? 

I am crushed. . .

I do agree that introducing new toys, new "play", et cetera is a good way to keep a relationship from growing stale. . . but I also like RPG's (and SRPG's) and the chance to step out of myself and take on a different role. 

I have yet to have anyone to the "Let Me Entertain You" strip tease. . . how do I sign up for one of those?

Best,

LaMalinche

One game, they said,
and started to play.
That was yesterday.



(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Something new - 5/6/2006 4:48:48 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Pushing bounderys, growing together, trying new things.... or old things in new ways.... all things that keep the fun alive, the imagination stimulated and things from falling into a rut!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 20
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