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Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/16/2011 9:25:27 PM

Charles6682

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Has anyone ever tried to seek a D/S and TPE type of relationship on a vanilla dating site and found any success?

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/16/2011 9:29:45 PM

came4U

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Yes. and NO success because men think 1. I am joking / fake account or 2. That I am in need of a mental health facility or 3. They think THEY can be my mental health professional. LOL

They (nillas) ARE nuts!!

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/16/2011 9:29:59 PM

BurntKitty

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I found many poker sites to be good for chatting/meeting others. Never panned out to a d/s however.
I'm not into the match/harmony pay sites.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/16/2011 9:43:25 PM

Charles6682

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There are free sites like plenty of fish and others.It just seems some fetish social sites are more about seeking a play partner,a kink pal.There are some people who may be seeking a vanilla/BDSM combo type of relationship.Something more than just whips and chains.An actual relationship with a D/S twist.I have to imagine finding this type of relationship must be rare,on any type of "dating" site.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 2/16/2011 9:45:00 PM >

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/16/2011 9:43:59 PM

Docere

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When children are too young their minds simply can not digest certain ideas about things such as sex. I believe in a way, this is how BDSM may appear to someone of the vanilla lifestyle. They simply have not reached the sexual maturity on a mental level to digest what is going on and how to react to it.

It would be nice if maturity was related to age, sexually or otherwise, yet time and time again the world keeps proving that notion wrong.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 12:28:40 AM

sweetsub1957

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~FR~
I put an ad on craigslist one time. It got flagged twice, but was up for a total of four days. In that time I got enough answers to have dates for a full month almost every day. I didn't end up w/ a D/s relationship from that ad, but I did make a few friends. Anyone I've had a D/s relationship with, I've met either here or on that "other" popular kink site. CM deletes it from my journal entries, but it's called Fetlife. lol As for other nilla actual dating sites. I couldn't even get a 'nilla relationship from a 'nilla dating site, let alone a D/s one.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 12:31:10 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

Has anyone ever tried to seek a D/S and TPE type of relationship on a vanilla dating site and found any success?

No but I've tried to find a vanilla one. I ended up with one of the kinkiest guys I've ever dated. Seriously.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 12:33:53 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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OKC tends to be pretty okay but any relationship site is like trying to catch a fish with no bait or fishing rod....

Try Real life events Ive had more success in the last few months with my love live then i have in the past several years.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 3:37:09 AM

LillyBoPeep

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some people i know have found kinky partners on okcupid. craigslist is another place to check, but depending on what you're looking for, you may or may not have any luck. i actually met my late M on myspace, so.... it's always possible.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 3:51:37 AM

VaguelyCurious

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OkCupid. Definitely OkCupid.

But then it's stuffed full of London kinksters, and I'm not sure whether or not that's just a London thing. I reckon I know maybe twenty, twenty-five people on there from RL events.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 4:10:49 AM

kalikshama

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One thing I like about okcupid is the tests. If someone catches my eye, I look to see if they've done any of the kinky tests. (Of course NOT having done these tests is not an indicator.)

You can also search for keywords like fetish, BDSM, assertive, etc.

CM has been better for me than OKC, but the same might not be true for you.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 4:29:26 AM

DarkSteven

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I've met one woman on Craigslist that was sub, but declined to keep dating her. I have had some interest on okcupid but never enough for a meeting. I find collarme to be far better - I can prescreen for kink proclivities and the forums allow me to get to know prospective partners and friends.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 4:33:46 AM

DocksideWhore

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Never thought to try a vanilla site when I was looking. Seems like even more hard work than finding someone on a kinky site to me.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 6:51:16 AM

Nanako

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I think trying an entirely generic dating site for D/s partners, is a bit silly.
The point of collarme is that everyone here has something in common.

That doesn't mean that finding such partners on other places is a bad idea, just not generic ones. If you're a geek, make friends on your local computing/tech forum. If you loove animals, look on a pet lover focused site. etc

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 7:31:12 AM

IceDemeter

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Hmmm - well, I guess it might depend on whether you're looking for M/s, D/s, D/s-lite, or a 'nilla relationship with hanky-spanky. In the case of the former two, then a site like this might be the better option, as both parties are already aware of their wants in that regard and are looking at it as a primary requirement - hence being here. In the case of the latter two, then the 'nilla sites work just as well.

As for whether they work - well, we met on Plenty of Fish and have been together over 1-1/2 years. His profile had quite a few subtle D flags in it, which I was looking for. Watch for mentions in the "interests" sections such as "candles", "toys", "subtlety", etc. - you might be surprised how often you'll find someone with a BDSM interest!

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 8:26:19 AM

preytolife

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I met my first Dom on OKCupid but other than that... there's kinky-open people, but I haven't found much potential for anything too involved. I suspect TIH people wouldn't have any problem at all but that's easy to pass off as traditional rather than kinky.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 8:37:18 AM

Vindictus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IceDemeter

As for whether they work - well, we met on Plenty of Fish and have been together over 1-1/2 years. His profile had quite a few subtle D flags in it, which I was looking for. Watch for mentions in the "interests" sections such as "candles", "toys", "subtlety", etc. - you might be surprised how often you'll find someone with a BDSM interest!

Is it really subtle if you declare you're being subtle like that though? Hmm.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 8:59:17 AM

IceDemeter

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Hey, come on --- it's a "subtle" sign to watch for the "subtle" hints that are scattered throughout a "subtle" profile!

(cuz you know - most of us need a hammer blow to the head to catch anything truly subtle!)

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 9:14:53 AM

MercTech

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Well, the person that pointed me to this site was one I met on OkCupid.

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RE: Seeking a D/S relationship on a vanilla dating site - 2/17/2011 9:57:44 AM

Missokyst

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When I am actively looking it doesnt matter where I look, kinky folk are what I find. A decade ago I was on a regular nilla dating site for 2 weeks and found a very handsome dominant guy in SF. That might have lasted but for the distance and the fact that I hate SF. Recently I had an ad up on Craigslist, very vanilla ad which stayed up for about 8 hrs before being flagged off, and discovered a nice "nilla" man who is kinky as heck. :) like, finds like, ya know?

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