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RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 12:21:44 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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If I'm looking to meet someone within a group of strangers
then I'm definitely going to look and choose based on physical attractiveness first.
If they don't have a personality and intelligence to back up their appearance
then their attractiveness quickly diminishes in my eyes.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 21

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 12:33:18 PM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
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It's not shallow to be attracted physically to someone. Come on now. The beautiful thing about it is that so many differant people can be attractive in so many differant ways. It could be her body, her face, the way she smiles or smells or any number of things that will attract me. If I'm not immediately taken by a woman, but she somehow brushes against me in an elevator, that could do it. It could be that way she takes charge in the office, fights through traffic, whatever gets you going., but once it's there then they are BEAUTIFUL!! Who the hell knows what it is about anyone that makes them attractive to people. But it HAS to be there on some level, or why would you choose them, or they you for that matter.

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(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 22

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 2:59:48 PM

antonlucchese

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/3/2006
From: Okinawa, Japan
Status: offline

I am lucky to have both a Mistress who is extremely beautiful, and intelligent, very experienced in BDSM; however for me this path is a spiritual one, and so in seeking out a Master/Mistress I put no emphasis on the physique. I am a 24/7 lifestyle slave however, and I am sure that there are many who indulge in community related activities for the sole purpose of sexual gratification in which case I would fully understand a "shallow" approach to choosing those with whom they wanted to play with. Whatever it is that fulfills your your own personal needs is what should determine your approach. Remember there is no right or wrong when it comes to personal life enrichment, so long as it harm noone involved...
Who originally decided what it is that is to be held as "shallow anyway?

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 23

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 3:10:31 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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There was a thread with a lot of really interesting discussion about this called Body Imperfections. You might want to check that out.

http://www.collarchat.com/Body_Imperfections%3F/m_330782/tm.htm

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 24

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 4:45:54 PM

sublizzie

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Joined: 5/26/2004
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I've met people on-line who seemed to be everything I was looking for. I've met them in person and they looked nice enough, clean, etc. but there was no "click". On paper everything should have worked out right and they looked just fine, but there was no chemistry.

Do I need physical attraction? Yes, but it's not how someone looks as much as it's that energy exchange that works out between 2 people.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 25

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 6:14:38 PM

CERCKL

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Joined: 3/4/2006
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quote:

If they don't have a personality and intelligence to back up their appearance
then their attractiveness quickly diminishes in my eyes.

quote:

On paper everything should have worked out right and they looked just fine, but there was no chemistry.

Do I need physical attraction? Yes, but it's not how someone looks as much as it's that energy exchange that works out between 2 people.

I think these two posts sum up well...
Energy flow is a definite need; I don't understand it but when it exists, alot can be secondary.

C

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Post #: 26

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 6:27:11 PM

cuddleheart50

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From: Kentucky
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This may be shallow, but it is what works for me....Attraction gets me there, personality keeps me there.

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Sing like no one is listening.
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Post #: 27

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 8:01:14 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyandsilly

i knew a guy who i met here on cm who didn't exactly have the looks of a runway model. in fact he would be the first to point out all his flaws and not many would argue with him. he was fat, balding, thick glasses and i mean thick, he had way to much hair, and vary bad teeth. he wanted so much to be a different person. we talked for hours late into the night sometimes. he was attracted to me but knew i wasn't attracted to him. what with that whole dangly thing between the legs. lol.

he has been the only person in my life who listened and talked and genuinely shared an interest in my history as much as he was willing to share his own. and to all the cynics; he probably did want to screw me, but he never even made a move except by flirting with little comments. i really wish i could find a woman as wonderful as he was.

s&s, It's been my experience that people who know they are largely unattractive to others develop in other areas in order to be more attractive. This man obviously figured out how to listen and pay attention to others. Someone else who was more attractive may not have the motivation to grow in that way. Certainly a generalization with exceptions, but I have found it to be true.
Smythe

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Post #: 28

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 8:26:29 PM

Kidless

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Joined: 5/4/2006
Status: offline

Shallow is what? going for what's attractive?

And "deep" is what?

Seing past things you can't stand ,to grasp the 'true core' of someone you'll waste time with?

< Message edited by Kidless -- 5/4/2006 8:30:16 PM >

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Post #: 29

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 8:44:03 PM

redpetals

Posts: 229
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

physical attraction is very important to me..but my idea of attractive is rather specific and not so mainstream .simply give me a large nose,because..i love feeling a cold tipped nose anywhere on my body but especially when im kissing the lips beneath it..
and wrinkles..i have a thing for those little wrinkles men who spend time hiking and stuff in the weather get,,
and eyes..oh my.
and i love clean shaven faces..in contrast to lots of hair every where else..
yes..physical looks are important.to me ..mostly faces with strong features..
and soft and flabby anywhere turns me off..i dont think this makes me shallow..
and youre right Smythe..i think thats why men or women who are rather mainstream attractive dont do a thing for me...i find the strongest tugs come from a man with a secure,self assured persona who actually cares more about our conversation than if im setting on his "good side"..

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Post #: 30

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 8:48:33 PM

Kidless

Posts: 104
Joined: 5/4/2006
Status: offline

From the other side,the simpering little girl types sort of fail to interest me.....The wicked girls with the wild imaginations get me going......it's kinda funny that way-how beautiful that can be-makes a plain jane into a ten.....

(in reply to redpetals)

Post #: 31

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 9:04:58 PM

Contesaluv

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

I like to be physically attracted and that means that I do have preferences. I can agree with RapturesDaddy because it is an integral part of being human. Each one of us is attracted to a certain look and there's nothing wrong with that. However, to want someone only for their particular look, yes, that would be shallow. It wouldn't fulfill you either as they wouldn't have the qualities you need to sustain anything further down the line in any relationship, (to quote RapturesDaddy) "no matter what the twist may be".

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It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
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------------------------
In a world of so many variables, why do you have to be the norm? Anonymous

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Post #: 32

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 9:16:08 PM

ladychatterley

Posts: 132
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline

I think attraction is important, but for me, voice is more important. Give me someone who looks like George Clooney and talks like Ben Stein, and I will run far, far away, very quickly! I also find that physical attraction, for me, is based much more on confidence, kindness and happiness than features. I'm almost always attracted to people who meditate because they have a presence that just opens.

As the devil's advocate (and the plump chick with the triathlon and skating medals hanging over her doorknob) I would emphasize, you cannot tell a person's fitness level by their body size. I recently had a date with a guy who was absolutely winded walking 8 short and 4 long blocks! I mean, not just out of breath (and I was in heels and not even out of breath--it was a stroll to me), but tired 2 hours later from the ordeal! It was a real deal-breaker for me, but anyone looking at us would assume he was 'fit' and I was not.

(in reply to Contesaluv)

Post #: 33

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 10:43:18 PM

LadyMolasses

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

Before I entered this lifestyle attraction held a different meaning for me. After encountering such a wide array of people, I have done a complete turn around. The best sub I ever had looks like Woody Allen and I find him so totally hot.
I am so into mind domination that physical attributes are just not that significant anymore.

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Post #: 34

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 10:53:42 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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Yes Physical attraction is important, but depends largely on what type of relationship one seeks. If I wanted a slave with whom I would never have sex, than I wouldn't care what he looks like, except how smart/obedient he is.
...And yes it is shallower than say discovering whether he is honorable, honest, or physically/emotionally abusive to his mother/girlfriend/offspring, but most of us cannot help that we physically/emotionally respond to some people and not others. M

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(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 35

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/4/2006 11:52:13 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I think that what is important here, is being honest with yourself and your potential
partner(s) about priorities in the relationship dynamics. Is a particular type or look
important to you, career or income, status or power? Then be up front about it.

I find the physcial to be less important on the attraction level for Me.
Good hygenie and grooming are of course important. I prefer height/weight
proportional because being a bit thin or a bit padded is not a problem. Being
anorexic/bulimic or severely obese becomes a health problem.

And so much of it is HOW a person presents themselves. Few things are less
attractive than someone desperately squeezed into clothing and/or shoes
much too small. Wear what fits, coordinate styles and colors, wear it well,
and carry yourself with confidence and pride.

YMMV,

Vendaval

_____________________________

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 36

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/5/2006 1:03:36 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

Yanno.... Ten years ago they woulda all had to be 34-24-36, but as we grow older we become wiser and less superficial. The mind and few other traits like ambition, feistiness, {The ''fight'' in women really turns me on!} and being opinionated, are just a few that really do it for me.

- R

Yes.... I did say I like opinionated women.

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 5/5/2006 1:08:06 AM >

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Post #: 37

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/5/2006 1:15:04 AM

doll

Posts: 296
Joined: 7/10/2005
From: Middle Georgia
Status: offline

I think that physical appearances are somewhat important in the sexual aspect, but I am more attracted to a person's mind and how they present themselves. Of course, everyone has their hang-ups on what they are wanting, but I have learned that it is more important to find what I need in my life rather then what I want.

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Post #: 38

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/5/2006 3:53:32 AM

bandit25

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If I'm not physically attracted to the person, there's just no way I'm going to play with him. I agree that looks aren't everything, but they are something!

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 39

RE: Physical attraction....important?...or shallow... - 5/5/2006 6:06:36 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Needing to feel an attraction to someone is important to me- on ALL levels.

We get to decide what we want in a partner- and if we decide we need someone who adores playing wordl or warcraft then that's no worse than deciding we need someone 5'8", blonde, blue eyed, and skinny.

I certainly have an "ideal" partner that I lust for. None of my partners look anywhere CLOSE to that "ideal." But it is important that I find them attractive to me. I just don't have a very specific concept of what "attractive" entails for me.

I agree with this.
I want a partner that I can lust for on all levels, his body, his knowledge, the chemistry, everything. I see nothing wrong with wanting the entire package. I have my ideals of what are attractive, they may not be yours. Case in point, I had a relationship with someone who had bad scarring yet I found him very attractive, however, his inability to see past what he saw in his mirror and what he felt was not loveable, made it impossible to continue the relationship. Is my ideal to find someone with scarring? No, but I didn't really see his scars after the first few minutes. This doesn't mean that someone else who is scarred, I would not see it. I just didn't see his. I saw the beauty of his face, body, and mind without them.
I see nothing wrong with looking for a partner who I can enjoy the whole package.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 40

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