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Born or Learned - 10/5/2004 6:22:30 PM

DaddyDomnCOLO

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Here is my question for discussion... all feel free to join in.

Is someone born a Dom?domme or can someone learn to be one?

Personally, I don't believe any is born or "fated" so to speak to become a Dom or a sub. All aspects of life must be learned at some point. Granted, someone with 10 years of experience is better qualified in most respects than someone with less than a year, but... were they born to it?

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/5/2004 6:48:08 PM

proudsub

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quote:

but... were they born to it?

Here are a few other threads on the same topic:
how are doms born

are we born submissive

born a dom or sub?

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/5/2004 9:20:02 PM

newflowers

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The nature versus nurture theory and the psychological implications therof are always interesting to me. I believe that one is born with certain inherent traits - nature. However, what one happens next - nurture - ultimately decides if one will develop and express those traits.

If I never made a conscience choice to explore and develop my submissive nature, it would be a latent trait - unused and ignored. I think the same is applicable to those with dominant traits as well.

There is an interesting essay about the physiological and biological development of a submissive by Dr. Tovah - if I can find the link, I will post it - it makes interesting reading. It is interesting to me that there is more written about the "making of a submissive" than is written about dominants. I wonder if that is because we live in a society that expects that trait in people.

newflowers

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/6/2004 3:05:08 PM

DaddyDomnCOLO

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So my question remains... Is it only possible to be a Dom if you were "born" one, or is it possible to wake up at 40 y/o and realize that you are a Dom and want to learn more about the life and in turn yourself?

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/6/2004 4:01:13 PM

Estring

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Lol. How many times are you going to ask this question?

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/6/2004 4:08:16 PM

stef

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Is it only possible to be a podiatrist if you were "born" one, or is it possible to wake up at 40 y/o and realize that you are a podiatrist and want to learn more about the life and in turn yourself?

~stef

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/6/2004 4:50:58 PM

DaddyDomnCOLO

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Thanks steff, I can relate well to that analogy.

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/7/2004 10:15:36 AM

dixiedumpling

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This has been talked about before. Is it nature or nurture. I say nature. If you wake up at 40 and say, "Hey, I'm Dominate (or sub)", then you were all along and you just didn't know it. I don't think you can be 'taught' to be Dominate or be sub. Some may possess the personality characteristics to be one or the other, but they don't participate in the BDSM lifestyle. And I don't think it's because they don't know it exists, they have no interest. One can have a serving personality and have absolutely no interest in being spanked or have any other sort of pain inflicted upon them. One can have a dominate/agressive personality and have absolutely no interest in inflicting pain. The inner twist that makes us thus was born in us. We may ignore it, but it's there.

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RE: Born or Learned - 10/7/2004 4:16:00 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

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Born, you may learn to be a Dom, but you had to have it in you to begin with.

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