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Simulating Distress Advice - 2/20/2011 11:34:39 AM

SubmissiveFox

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Other than saying "it hurts/expressing verbal pain ("ow!"), does anyone have any advice about how to simulate distress when you aren't really that distressed?

Slightly complicated reason for asking - M gets aroused by distress (including crying) but doesn't want to actually cause that by such a high level of pain? I don't think I can make myself cry!

Any one come across this before or have any advice?

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/20/2011 11:44:09 AM

lally2

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so, he wants to make you cry but he doesnt want to hurt you enough to make you cry - ?

im driven to say 'no pain no gain'

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/20/2011 11:49:51 AM

DesFIP

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I'm confused. You've been told to lie?

I guess I'd think of it as roleplay then. Watch movies/tv where people are in pain and make notes. Do they twist their faces into grimaces, do they take deep breaths or hold their breath. Memorize a couple of phrases like "no more, gasping breath, please I can't take any more" and so on.

I strongly advise you to sit down with him and make sure that you faking it is what he wants.

The only other thing I could suggest is you try different toys that are guaranteed to hurt. Some people recommend a loopy johnny or bungee cords as extremely painful implements.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/20/2011 11:53:38 AM

littlewonder

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it's called acting.

Fake it. Do like method actors do....think of something in your mind that has really distressed you and made you cry in the past and still makes you cry everytime you think of it.

That's really the only thing I can think of since we don't do roleplaying or acting. He wants honest actions and words.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/20/2011 12:05:31 PM

Masterq81andcali

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My Master likes this from time to time.. as if out in public its very rare that enough force to really hurt me or cause me pain can be used... So in those situations I am very good at holding back the pleased with myself for getting the slap face..

I cant make myself cry.. but Master can get such emotions out of me without laying a finger on me that tears can be brought out..

another time we use this is when we start something, and I will be "playing" the non consent victim... despite being very much consented..

My advice is to really think about how you react when really in pain or distressed, for me I find eye contact very difficult and am jumpy.. I will also breathe very quiet and or quietly sob..

It can be done and with great effect, although for me I love to get to the stage where its not an act.. and I wait for my Master to call an end to events.. ( as we now practice under TPE rules and I have given up my safe word to my Master)

Calimero - With my Masters consent.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/21/2011 6:02:40 AM

SubmissiveFox

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quote:

I guess I'd think of it as roleplay then.

Yes I think that is closer to it. Thanks for the thoughts - I like the method acting suggestion!

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/21/2011 7:14:07 AM

preytolife

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You don't know what you sound like in distress? It's not that hard to mimic. Moaning, whining, whimpering. If you start sweating it might cover up lack of tears. Or keep your hair in your face.

Also, he can't make you cry without physical pain? Come on now! Practice makes perfect. ;)

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/21/2011 7:56:42 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
That's really the only thing I can think of since we don't do roleplaying or acting. He wants honest actions and words.

Grins. And screams, whimpers, begging, grovelling and ohmygawdgawdgawdcanitpleasepleasepleasecumwithitsworthlesscuntnowSir.

Oh hell yeah. Why anyone would wanna roleplay when you can have the real thing is beyond me.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/21/2011 9:34:53 AM

LillyBoPeep

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some people (especially men) are still not sure how this all works out in their minds vs. their conditioning from growing up. going from "you're not supposed to hurt girls" to "omigosh i like to hurt girls" is a big turn around for some. so i can understand the allure of roleplay/acting.
that said, it's really hard for me to act in situations like this. =p it becomes too cerebral and conscious and makes it really hard to focus. i get tangled up in "am i doing this right? is this what he wants?" random begging on command is the same way. it just works so much better, for me, when it's real.

has he really asked you to start faking it? or are you trying to do it to please him? if he's really asked you to fake it, i would just second the advice to watch movies and pick up tips from actors. think back about times you've been really upset or in a lot of pain; what did you do and sound like? ask him what he likes to hear -- does he like whimpering or moaning more? he likes crying, but is it more the sound of the crying or the tears? try not to be mechanical about it, but build something up from the cues he gives you and whatever else you pick up.
if you're doing this because you think it will make him happy, then maybe you should talk about it more and see if he wants fake tears, vs. whatever authentic response you're giving him now.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/21/2011 12:09:02 PM

DesFIP

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I also wouldn't get bent out of shape about not being able to cry. Lots of people learn to suppress tears no matter what.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/22/2011 3:25:19 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
That's really the only thing I can think of since we don't do roleplaying or acting. He wants honest actions and words.

Grins. And screams, whimpers, begging, grovelling and ohmygawdgawdgawdcanitpleasepleasepleasecumwithitsworthlesscuntnowSir.

Oh hell yeah. Why anyone would wanna roleplay when you can have the real thing is beyond me.

Possibly because they have no one to inspire the above verbiage and so they fake it?

Women have been doing so, I hear, for eternity.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/22/2011 3:59:53 PM

HisEvelyn

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As the other nice people have said, mimic what you normally do when truly in distress. Also, I'm curious if you LIKE the idea of being in enough pain to cause tears. Is it something you endure for him or something you enjoy just as much as him? If you truly enjoy it, make this clear to him. Knowing you WANT it may make it easier for him to do it.

I ask because BoPeep's post reminded me of a scene with Master a few days ago that touched on the aspect of 'if you love her, you shouldn't hurt her' and the mentality men are taught when growing up. As I am still somewhat new to my masochistic side, I didn't really know where my pain limit was, and I had asked my Master if we could explore just how much I could take when properly warmed up. In the middle of our scene, after marking me beautifully the way he wished to do so, he decided to indulge in my request to test my limits. Letting me know that he was going to do this, we explored that.

He told me afterwards that even though he loves beating me, it did create a bit of difficulty for him to hit me harder than he usually would, to seek out the place where I would be in bad pain as opposed to good pain. A bit of that fear of hurting the one he loved crept up on him. But knowing that I wanted it, and that he trusted me to tell him when it was truly enough? This allowed it to become an experience that was fulfilling and loving for both of us.

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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/22/2011 10:09:57 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
That's really the only thing I can think of since we don't do roleplaying or acting. He wants honest actions and words.

Grins. And screams, whimpers, begging, grovelling and ohmygawdgawdgawdcanitpleasepleasepleasecumwithitsworthlesscuntnowSir.

Oh hell yeah. Why anyone would wanna roleplay when you can have the real thing is beyond me.

Possibly because they have no one to inspire the above verbiage and so they fake it?

Women have been doing so, I hear, for eternity.

Snickers. Yeah, see, makes shrugging gesture, I've never experienced that particular problem.
Grins.

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
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RE: Simulating Distress Advice - 2/23/2011 3:58:25 PM

DevilishEnvy

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my girl has this look where she blinks alot and bites her lip. she will also start looking down and not at my face. it always gives me a second's pause.

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