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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:46:19 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i dont really read that as needs not being met, just a statement that she does like kink. sometimes people who don't participate in kink because they really DON'T like it (like the people i met).
they do, they just don't do it much.
i think MAsT would be a good avenue for them because that group set out with the goal of NOT focusing on kinky play, but on relationships and life issues that M/s people encounter, and forming a network of people to relate to.

This.

I had to go perve the profile, and I do not see where the op states that she is unhappy at all,sure there is a one off outburst in her journal, but it was a while back and she seems to have laid that to rest, and apart from her op which sounds simply as if shes not met another girl or couple that have a similar dynamic... and I can totally relate to her on that one. Munches and groups do tend to have more active kink based people attend them from personal experience.

< Message edited by RCdc -- 2/25/2011 7:51:00 AM >

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 21

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:56:34 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Passively waiting for them to roll in can work well too. mate of mine, after his marriage split used to come along with my ex and I to singles nights. he'd be seated with us, when the ladies homed in on the "Fresh Meat". When they asked how he was coping, he'd look mornful and turn his big brown doggy eyes at them and say: "I'm hungry". Worked like a treat and he used to have few of them eating out out of his hand every time. At least he was never short of a screw.

I must respectively disagree that leaving the house to go to singles night = passive

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 22

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 8:15:16 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125
I do like kinkiness, btw. I love it, we just don't do kinky things that often.

quote:

I'm thinking this right here is the root of the issue: You have needs that are unmet and you're not happy about it.

A majority of the responses here are from individuals or partnerships that have been in the lifestyle for many years, from the perspective of someone who's been in for a comparatively short time (3 years) my M/s relations have been about 55/45.

I try my hardest to keep a tiny part of the kink integrated into every day. Going shopping for groceries? Remote control vibrating egg and I'm holding the buzzer .

That part is what I thought was the crux of the problem.

The desire for a bit more kink/sex, is the issue about which the OP ought to have a serious conversation with her Master. I would say definitely broach the subject, before she finds him another, and starts to feel even more like a servile thing, without emotions or desires. M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 2/25/2011 8:18:47 AM >

(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)

Post #: 23

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 8:40:06 AM

TotalDiscipline

Posts: 225
Joined: 5/5/2010
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Just don't care what others think. Be happy in the way you 2 are together.

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Love is the law, love under will.

shorten your answers to the essence

(in reply to sweetnymph1125)

Post #: 24

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 8:51:27 AM

Nanako

Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I think part of your problem is your profile...

The way you use the term "real" in your profile and in your journal posts smacks a lot of the way some folks around here have used the word "true". The way you make it sound, any slave who does not want to sleep with you and/or your Master is not a "real" slave.

Sorry, but if that is the way you look at it, you may meet others who are definitely slaves and others who are definitely submissive...but that won't change the fact that they do not want to sleep/play with you and your master. I would suggest toning down that implication in your journal entries...

I'm with you sir ^_^

To the OP, with nothing but kindness intended: BDSM is very inclusionary. Don't try to make it anything else. You're not out of place here, nor is anyone else. Everyone is welcome. Throwing around words like "real" and "true" implies some kind of superiority that will really annoy a lot of people and seems elitist. Everyone is as much of a "real" master/dominant/sub/slave as they choose to be, and all relationships fit somewhere in this wide and infinitely varied spectrum. Don't try to think of yourself as outside or above it in order to feel special. There are plenty of others like you. And plenty of others that aren't ^^

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 25

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 9:01:20 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

This was my marriage. Mostly service and very little kink, unless you count discipline as kinky.
I endured it, but I hated it. I would have put up with it, but thankfully he asked for changes I was unwilling to make and I left that situation.
lol its been well over 25 yrs since I have been married. I will never marry again. It is too akin to slavery in my head and I will never do that again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125

So I've been with my Master now for 2 years. We have a relationship that doesn't involve very much kink and closely resembles what I think real slavery from way back in ancient times was. I serve him and am submissive to him

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to sweetnymph1125)

Post #: 26

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 9:04:10 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125
I'm asking because I feel very out of place in the bdsm community and I want to know if there are others out there like me.

Carol and I have no kink componet to our dynamic at all. Nor have we ever. Yes, we feel out of place in the kink community... go figure.

It is the HEIGHT of foolishness, however, for you to compare that with any variant of historical slavery. No matter what you are doing, the emotional landscape surrounding it is totally different.

By the way, be sure to tell your master that he and you are fakes because Carol and I have even less kink than you (see how dumb that line of reasoning is??)

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sweetnymph1125)

Post #: 27

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 10:08:08 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125

It is the HEIGHT of foolishness, however, for you to compare that with any variant of historical slavery. No matter what you are doing, the emotional landscape surrounding it is totally different.

By the way, be sure to tell your master that he and you are fakes because Carol and I have even less kink than you (see how dumb that line of reasoning is??)

First - I LOVE this.

quote:

I'm asking because I feel very out of place in the bdsm community and I want to know if there are others out there like me.Carol and I have no kink componet to our dynamic at all. Nor have we ever. Yes, we feel out of place in the kink community... go figure

.

I'm really starting to wonder why that is... I might think it over and start a thread, unless you fancy discussing it here. But I am finding that couples, particularly non poly and monogamous ones, feel like this. Have you ever wondered why you feel out of place?

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 28

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 11:02:59 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
I'm really starting to wonder why that is... I might think it over and start a thread, unless you fancy discussing it here. But I am finding that couples, particularly non poly and monogamous ones, feel like this. Have you ever wondered why you feel out of place?

Wondered? No. It's as obvious as the sun rise. This is a KINK site. It's not surprising to me that a not-particularly-kinky person would feel a bit out of step. On the other hand, there are enough similarities and overlaps that it's worthwhile for me to participate here so I do.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 29

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 11:17:35 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125
I do like kinkiness, btw. I love it, we just don't do kinky things that often.

quote:

I'm thinking this right here is the root of the issue: You have needs that are unmet and you're not happy about it.

A majority of the responses here are from individuals or partnerships that have been in the lifestyle for many years, from the perspective of someone who's been in for a comparatively short time (3 years) my M/s relations have been about 55/45.

I try my hardest to keep a tiny part of the kink integrated into every day. Going shopping for groceries? Remote control vibrating egg and I'm holding the buzzer .
That part is what I thought was the crux of the problem.

The desire for a bit more kink/sex, is the issue about which the OP ought to have a serious conversation with her Master. I would say definitely broach the subject, before she finds him another, and starts to feel even more like a servile thing, without emotions or desires. M

This. She would not have asked the question had there not been something missing for her. She says this mutiple times in her journal and I think she wanted confirmation or validation that others are experiencing what she is, or is not getting.

In my view, there needs to be kink involved for me to be happy as well as all the rest.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 30

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 11:22:24 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I think there are varying degrees of 'kink need' in people.

For some people, the kink is priority, even to the degree that they have specific activities they simply MUST have as components in their lives/relationships. Some people, do not need the relationship to be the priority but more so, just getting their kink needs fulfilled.

Some people need a relationship most, with kink, or even power exchange, being the least important aspects. Some people need a power exchange relationship with kink being unnecessary or only the sprinkles.

Some people are going to be snobs about their particular need and look down their beak at everyone that doesn't have a very similar need personality profile. We see it here alllllllllllllllllll the damned time, which is no different than what we see everywhere else. We all want to believe that our thing is the best thing. When what we should be doing is focusing on making our thing the best thing for us personally, and letting everyone else do their thing. AND..........making sure that we communicate our thing to the prospective people we want to do our thing with rather than assume our thing is also their thing..........until we get smack dab in the middle of doing things only to find out......our thingamajiggies don't match very well at all.

_____________________________

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 31

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 11:32:20 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125

My question is, are there others out there like us who are Masters or slaves but aren't very kinky? Also, do you think it is important for all M/s relationships to use kinkiness? In your opinion, can you have a M/s relationship without kink?

Greetings,

You'll find a rainbow of variety within the community. Kink isn't the main motivator behind my relations, but it's definitely a factor and one I wouldn't set aside. I accept that there are many dynamics that function quite well without the extra accoutrement.

As for me, I'm a masochist and partnering with a non sadist is merely a catastrophe in the making. I need my complement. Could I have a relationship without it? Yes. Am I willing to make the sacrifice? Not a chance.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sweetnymph1125)

Post #: 32

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 11:38:40 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Passively waiting for them to roll in can work well too. mate of mine, after his marriage split used to come along with my ex and I to singles nights. he'd be seated with us, when the ladies homed in on the "Fresh Meat". When they asked how he was coping, he'd look mornful and turn his big brown doggy eyes at them and say: "I'm hungry". Worked like a treat and he used to have few of them eating out out of his hand every time. At least he was never short of a screw.

I must respectively disagree that leaving the house to go to singles night = passive

Point taken, but surely, going to a singles night (large for the public where the guys out number the girls about 2:1 ) and when you are there you meld in with the crowd on the edges and doing nothing to attract any female is being passive. Perhaps it was passive/active or active/passive?

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 33

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 1:00:33 PM

ImaginativeWhims

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

This. She would not have asked the question had there not been something missing for her. She says this mutiple times in her journal and I think she wanted confirmation or validation that others are experiencing what she is, or is not getting.

In my view, there needs to be kink involved for me to be happy as well as all the rest.

Holy guacamole I feel like I just took a step up in the world... Red, before this you'd always fussed at me, now I'm being slightly agreed with?

I just did a cartwheel. It's gonna be a good day after all.

_____________________________

I am inflexible in my needs, reasonably flexible in my wants and stand absolutely firm on my dynamic. -FT

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 34

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 1:19:04 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Yep Yep I have no clue what your talking about. If you ask 100 ppl to define kink you will get 100 different answers. What I suspect you may be trying to say is I dont like my mans version of kink how do i fix that" The solution to that is find a new boytoy.

I really like your statement btw i like kinkiness. I read that as "I want 10 guys to pull a train on me". That's my def of "kinkiness"

BadOne

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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 35

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 5:30:14 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We haven't played in months. Kids, illness, worries, etc. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to, just that real life gets in the way. I find it helps if we both miss it, it's when one does and the other doesn't that problems arise. At least sharing your frustration means you're both on the same page.

Service is not big here. We both do chores because we are intelligent adults and know the chores need to be done. He also knows that if I'm doing all the scut work while he lounges around then I wouldn't have much energy at bedtime.

He's in charge because he's better at decision making than I am, I waffle, he cuts to the chase.

And whining that no one else is real or true because they don't want to have sex with people they don't know from Adam is extremely rude. I'm sure your mother taught you better than that, it's a pity you didn't listen.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 2/25/2011 5:32:33 PM >

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 36

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/26/2011 9:48:08 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

This. She would not have asked the question had there not been something missing for her. She says this mutiple times in her journal and I think she wanted confirmation or validation that others are experiencing what she is, or is not getting.

In my view, there needs to be kink involved for me to be happy as well as all the rest.

Holy guacamole I feel like I just took a step up in the world... Red, before this you'd always fussed at me, now I'm being slightly agreed with?

I just did a cartwheel. It's gonna be a good day after all.

I don't recall "fussing" at you; I am really not the fuss type, actually more direct. I like your posts IW and I sometimes agree/disagree with someone moment by moment depending on my thougth process at the moment.

I am weird like that. :)

(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)

Post #: 37

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/26/2011 10:55:15 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I don't recall "fussing" at you; I am really not the fuss type, actually more direct. I like your posts IW and I sometimes agree/disagree with someone moment by moment depending on my thougth process at the moment.

I am weird like that. :)

Except for me... but her doc has her on meds to cope with me.

SLURP~

_____________________________

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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 38

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/26/2011 12:30:38 PM

txurinal

Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

As i have said before, i was owned by 2 MASTERS. One wanted only a service slave. For HIM, my role was strictly housekeeper. The other, wanted someone he could dicsipline as HE enjoyed that and a slave for the occassional sexual service. i probably got more "kink" when i was loaned to other MASTERS. But the relationship worked for me and that is the most important thing. Even a true slave, and i too considered my situation as a true slave, must get something out of the relationship or if you are not happy, your MASTER will not be happy as you will not be pleasing HIM or yourself

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 39

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/26/2011 12:53:45 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

At 21, and your comment "Uggghhh for real, are there any other REAL slaves out there?" who knows if I (or others) would even consider you a / the real slave?

If you were of the 'real slave' mentality (IMO) you would do your 'slave' business without asking/requesting for MORE (aka, less slaveness and MORE oh-joy me me me I need more fulfillment-ness).

Some of us were slaves long before the net was invented, without having or knowing of an outlet to grasp onto for any mental or physical happiness or anguish comparative answer.

Some of us even had to do things without food processors, without dry cleaners (aka ironing uniforms and spit shining boots), without babysitters or nannies or even *gasps* a washer or dryer thus washing things by hand and hanging it to dry.

Your profile reads no different than any other couple looking for fresh meat because you or both of you are bored (obviously, to me, not enough slavery goin' on if you are bored). I know when I was a slave...the last thing I was--was bored.

Yeah, yer special. None of us are actually slaves, but you are. We just play em on the net.

Besides, you say 'He wanted a real slave and not necessarily the kink that often goes with M/s relationships. My question is, are there others out there like us who are Masters or slaves but aren't very kinky?' yet your profile states: " Master would like another slave. He says it would please Him. Any submissive females, ages 20-24 who want to play and maybe, if we all like each other, who would like to become Master's second slave, send me a message. Also, you should probably live in New England if you're interested. " and "Uggghhh for real, are there any other REAL slaves out there? Isn't there any slave/submissive who would be willing to meet Master and me and play and/or become Master's second slave?? Where are all the real slaves?"

great, so he can bore the death out of two women? Is he asexual? or this is a ploy and he is really a NHG?

" Master just isn't into as many kinky things as i am and i get sexually frustrated A LOT so i feel like i need someone else, preferably an older male (though could be female) in his or her 40s or 50s to talk to me online, make me do degrading/humiliating things (including water sports and um....maybe scat play....maybe), maybe make me send naked pics of myself to him or her. i asked Master if this is something He would allow me to do and He said no. so i guess i'll just be unhappy, unfulfilled and sexually frustrated. well, i shouldn't say unhappy, at this moment i'm unhappy, but i'm not unhappy all the time. i love Master and i can't picture myself ever being owned or with anyone else....i just need MORE KINK"

Oh lordy, this is so much like trolling and less about slavery in general. Get the the one idea straight and the other idea separated. Do a search in forums of how many 'are there any REAL slaves in here' and you will find a bounty--just like you, the 'experienced' one and ONLY slave on the planet type.

Yer speshul. uh huh.

What makes you more real than any average gal/guy in here? really?

_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist

(in reply to sweetnymph1125)

Post #: 40

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