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stellauk -> RE: Why identify? (2/26/2011 12:18:05 PM)
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FR
The only genuine way we self-identify in life is as individual human beings and we do this constantly in our intereactions and our relationships, both with ourselves and other people.
Looking at it from this perspective, there is no such thing as kink, BDSM, D/s because all what you have are two (or more) people doing what is normal or natural for them.
This is why for me almost all sexual activities can be referred to as kink. Kink, D/s, BDSM are just linguistic labels which can be used to between people to talk about such matters generally and also as a tool of developing new relationships.
However everyone learns about themselves through their relationships and interactions with others, and what we learn from others, adopt and acquire forms part of our identity.
We use labels to indicate that part of our identity which indicates our interests, our specific cultural interests (because BDSM is part of culture) and it allows others to identify ourselves.
The terms are only relevant between people outside relationships. When two individuals develop a relationship with one another the terms become meaningless and obsolete because it is the cycles and patterns of expression, emotion and interaction between the two individuals which define that relationship. The terms kink, D/s and BDSM are merely linguistic terms to describe that relationship to others.
Such terms as kink, BDSM, D/s may have cultural connotations and mean generally one thing, but the specific meaning, definition and context is always individual to that relationship they share.
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