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sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: the more i read, the more confused i get!!! (5/5/2006 9:04:34 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
Dear Texasbutterfly, Ladies and Gentlemen;
Discovering yourself does not end at reading books. Although they are great references, I see you are in Texas, my former slave of two years is near DFW Texas, he said they had several groups in Texas. So, you may want to do an online inquiry "BDSM Texas" as to find a local group.
The second thing, I would recommend considering in your thought process, is how does it make you feel in obedience? In service? Will you know when you hit your limits? What limits have you drawn? I hope boundary is something you can do, as not to go too fast too soon. As soon as you grow, then boundaries can change. I also recommend following your "gut" instincts. Most times they are right.
Third thing, I would recommend on considering in your thought process is, what do you want a D/s (Dominant/submissive) or M/s (Master/slave) and or BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism) to do for you? Is it healing a wounded heart? Is it giving you a hug, as you are so lonely, feeling depressed, low self esteem? What part of this dynamic as M/s calls to you? Most times people seek out a D/s relationship for healing, to put themselves in a submissive frame since they feel worthless anyway, so they feel they are no better than abused slaves, etc. Is it, a case of where you seemingly can't attract men on your own, so perhaps through slave sex, you appeal to men better perhaps? What is in the mindset or your mental chat with yourself? Perhaps, you wish power but, really don't know how to find it and once found, how to use it to the positive. Perhaps you are a loving soul, just so frustrated in not finding someone, like a man to appreciate that side of you? So what your mind speaks is really an important part of you also.
Forth thing worth consideration, is knowing that emotional, mental and spiritual scars are invisible to those outside. With online interaction, e.g. cyber scenes, web cam, phone scenes; the dominant will not have the benefit of seeing the body language. It is easy to find yourself "hurt" and "wounded" so, protect that side of you. Unfortunately, anybody now days can call themself Master, Mistress, SIR, etc. It does not mean that they are qualified. They may mean well or they may be enticing you for the wrong reason, so follow your gut instincts.
Fifth thing worth mentioning. Communication, communication, communication. Respect is earned and not demanded. It is different to recognize the D/s authority structure that keeps the line between Dominant/submissive established and maintained. By giving power to a dominant, you enable them to have power from you and draw it from you. So, be sure the dominant is a good custodian of your power. The more positive he is the better it will be. More cruel, negative the more you are on egg shells. But, if anything else is forgotten -- Never iscolate yourself from family, friends, like minded individuals. Compare notes with others and gain as much knowledge to add to your personal power as possible.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
Lady Hugs,
i wonder if i may ask for some clarification on your views of the submissive mind. Your third suggestion of considering her thought process came off to me as you stating that a sub is someone who is submissive because they need to be healed in some way. Please explain.
thank you,
sub tara
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