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LadyHugs -> RE: M/s D/s Relationships (5/5/2006 9:11:08 AM)
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Dear twicehappy, Ladies and Gentlemen;
Give me your own personal definition of what the D/s or M/s relationship is.
Master/Mistress-slave relationship is a committed relationship that is binding and practices an energy flow in a somewhat more "spiritual" and "telepathic" flow but, I am from an antiquated system of doing things, long before D/s was a title but-- a state of behavior. M/s to my exposure is a loving relationship, but not the romantic love or sexually motivated. More "service" and perhaps more of a "healer" mentality, as it is bent for the slave to ease the life of a Master, as to permit his mind to focus on more higher thinking and how to bring the slave up in a higher plane of freedom through slavery and enhance his personal life outside as well as inside the lifestyle. As well as to give wisdom enough, so that should the slave phase into a "master in training" status they would have the knowledge, ability to listen and keen eyes to watch the silent language of the body and things learned as slave, to make a wise Master. Behavior was goverened and modified, attitude adjusted as to bring the best out. Sharing lessons the Master learned when he/she was slave, passing it to their slave. Honoring the past, present and future, through rituals, ceremony, protocol and etiquettes, knowing the roots and meanings behind them.
Is yours a TPE style relationship? What does that mean to you with regards to obedience?
I am of the belief that long before TPE entered the vocabulary, the system I am familiar with, in my capacity as slave and as Master, we did work with in the realm of empowerment and exchanges. Mostly the slave was the student and the Master the teacher, in explaining what they may experience and enjoy the purge of what catharis processes in a M/s relationship permits. In opening to catharis, it made the exposure to the primal beast, to embrace it and not being ashamed of it possible. So, the need to hold/contain the primal human, the "animal spirit/manifestation" was welcomed not belittled or found ugly. Catharis flogging was to purge all the emotions as to refresh the soul, spirit and emotional, mental realms--releasing as to permit the physical realm to be "one." Catharsis flogging, etc., is not to be confused with maintaining "flogging" as feeding the BDSM need/want, or the steps into pleasure, delight and or sex--as well as different between punishment flogging. Each did different things and had meaning to each slave explained before such even started. I would have to say being obedient was to keep their unprotected and vunerable state open to the Master always.
Do you allow your sub/slave or if sub/slave are you allowed limits other than the standard moral ones?
Yes, slaves even in my early days were allowed limits. The major one, was the right to protect themselves as Master's property, even from the Master himself. Limits are due to many factors, to which makes an individual. Limits are respected but, also explored and pushed, sometimes out of a bad experience, a different Master's techniques turned a hard limit of no, into loving what they feared, e.g. caning now days causes fear --because of how people use the cane but, if they handle the cane and shown the technique, they loose the fear and embrace it. I do this currently as a faculty member at a training academy. The release of relief is what Masters seek to give slaves. To enjoy all things--even in service.
With certain obvious restrictions; do you function in your day to day life like a “normal” couple? What I mean by this is that living the “kink” 24/7 is a difficult proposition, so do you do whips and chains etc 24/7 or is your daily routine more normal while holding onto the D/s or M/s dynamic?
Life's schedules influence the day to day operations of my household. Some of my slaves had odd shifts and days off, others rather normal 9-5. There were days assigned to each slave, where I was only with them; the other slaves knew to do their tasks and were on their best behaviors. Each slave had equal time with me, had days where all of them were in service, I had a day off from all of the slaves. Each had their fill of BDSM--they knew how to approach and hint they needed a good dungeon time. Maintainence and or my time for my fun, pleasure and needs. But, I wasn't so rigid that there were no margins for changes. Govern by the moment rather than schedule.
Are there any out there who live the D/s or M/s life without the bdsm play? Or with only occasional bdsm play? If so how do you feel you are regarded/treated by the community here on CM and in real time?
My personal feeling on this matter is, that I am not defined by those outside of my sacred relationship with my slaves. I had an occassion where I took on a slave, when they were overcome by illness, the Master had passed and was gifted with this slave. To weak to really be of service, to weak to be in the dungeon, I was at his bed and attended to that slave. The eyes told me more of how hurt he was unable to give back. So, I gave him sewing and repair work, secretarial jobs he could do in bed. To me, it is quality of service--not how much quantity the service is. Do as much as one can well or not do it at all. To weak to sew, it was a sign for me to be near around the clock. That slaved died in my keeping/my arms...knowing he was a good slave and honored my collar. He did smile, he was happy--his duty done--he died in peace and is buried at my expense with honor and dignity all of us should have. My able slaves made it possible to attend this lad's bed--gave up their time to help their dying brother. It matters little what others think--my focus is on my leather family/my slaves. Only thing that matters, is that people understand that there are loving Masters, that deeply love their slaves and would do anything at all to see them loved, appreciated and treated with grace and dignity--it isn't about forcing or manhandling. Service is from the heart and soul--not the bondage external-but the bondage invisible around the heart. Slaves wear collars --Masters hold the leash.
I do not define myself by physical BDSM activities --Although extremely important, necessary -- I don't let BDSM define me--I define BDSM.
Do you think your online search would be easier or more difficult if you posted D/s or M/s is what you are looking for?
I don't think anything is really easy--at least not for me. Again, I'm so old fashioned that I doubt if I will find what I'm looking for. Since there is a blurry line due to so many opinions of what M/s and or D/s "is" -- other than a few standards that are consistant; it is mere chance to find anybody. I'm Old School and not many Old School slaves are around -- Just people that are old (like me!) LOL
Do you have protocols for other Doms/Dommes contacting the owned one? If so what are they?
I do have protocols for other dominants contacting the owned one.
If unsolicited approaches to the slave, they are to courtesy copy the correspondence to me, their reply is to be courtesy copied to me; to which they are to have a polite response, that with all due respect, please contact my owner (me) for permission to correspond with me (slave) further. It would be really appreciated by us both. Most times these unsolicited approaches are trolls, looking for slaves to steal away from the owners.
Most times, if it is in a forum like this--posting openly, I don't mind--they aren't dummies and they know how to show respect. If there is a issue, slave knows to alert me as to look into the issue and we go from there. Most times its just misunderstanding not an insult. My slaves aren't iscolated from talking to others, even other dominants. But, these dominants need to also understand that they are my slave, not some toy to borrow from under my nose.
In public scenes, e.g. parties, gatherings, presentations and such. It depends if the protocols are formal (high) or informal (low). If casual, it is low protocol, they serve everybody as if it was me. If high, they only serve me; and by their request by my leave, can see to a solo dominant who has no slave of their own. They do not leave an invisible space of six feet from me in high protocol, as to be attending me at a mere moment. Casual, they are allowed to mingle, I have been served and its time for them to enjoy the gathering also. Most times I can find them with other slaves and having a great time. If services are required, other slaves know to get my slave's attention and have him report back.
In high protocol, my slaves kneel at any Master/Mistress entering the premises, in presentment position. Only my slave gives me the honor position, to which is different. All slaves of mine kneel immediately, if they see one slave kneel in presentment--other than physical inabilities, then slaves go into standing presentment position as others kneel. Only until they are released do the resume, with the exceptions of slaves in the middle of cooking or a task. If an unfamiliar dominant to my protocols enter and they present and aren't released, I release them in silent hand signal. Staying on the knees over 10 minutes is painful -- I won't have that in my house and is transferred over into other gatherings.
All dominants that approach my slaves are to be greeted cheerfully, head lowered in respect and present. They are also not to rush about dominants but, be careful as to keep a three foot space around dominants as premises/circumstances permit.
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
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