kalikshama
Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010 Status: offline
|
OP - Glad you guys are slowing down. Here's a good thread and post for you: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3586242/mpage_2/key_/tm.htm#3590431 quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer quote:
ORIGINAL: porcelaine Why would a single woman elect to join a couple when there's an exorbitant amount of single dominant men looking to establish poly relationships? Why walk into an existing situation when she can be build it from the ground up instead? I'm going to respond from a FMM poly perspective rather than an MFF one, because that's where I personally am. I don't think it actually matters however; the answer is the same either way. My secondary elected to join my poly family because he was a really, really good fit with us. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. The energy and chemistry between my secondary and I was definitely hot, and it started to move in a more romantic and sexual than casual play partners direction despite his initial misgivings about doing poly. He and I also had an excellent foundation of mutual liking, respect and friendship in addition to a growing D/s relationship. I checked in with my primary very early on when it looked like things might be going in that direction, and we communicated every step of the way. While slowly moving forward, we found out that he was able to build that same foundation of mutual respect and friendship with my primary partner. The energy between them was not sexual but it was definitely positive; they were very much kindred souls and got along excellently, sometimes even leaving me out of their animated conversations about subjects of mutual interest. I kept things at a slow pace until his relationship with my primary was a good and solid and comfortable one. I figured we were well on our way when the two of them spent most of their time at a play party geeking out with each other over D&D and anime and largely ignoring me. LOL Yes, it probably looked bad to the other dominants, but I'm no dummy; their getting along was important enough to me that I really wasn't interested in complaining. After that I scheduled more family nights so the two of them could see each other more often and get their geeking on. It worked. He fit in with both of us very well, and he chose to become a part of our family because we all think of each other as really nifty human beings who have a lot in common. In an nutshell, that's why. Poly additions that are mainly driven by the dominant chasing their dick (regardless of the gender of the dominant) have a much higher chance of imploding in bad drama, IMO.
|