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Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/7/2011 6:43:16 PM   
ChicagoAmy


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		My submissive has been having panic attacks while I'm sitting on his face. They've gotten worse over time. We thought at first it was just because he was restrained (in a straight jacket) so we stopped, and went with just his hands secured to his collar, then another panic attack. Even without any bondage at all there are still panic attacks. Obviously when ever he starts to have his panic attack I get off immediately but it's frustrating to say the least. He swears he wants to get over this because it does turn him on. He doesn't know why he's having the panic attacks but he'll worry about asphyxiating while being underneath me and then it leads to panic. He keeps wanting to try but I'm not sure how to go about this the right way. Has anyone gone through this? Is there away to get over it? I did try the other night to "sit" (barely touch his face, hover) while teasing him (to try to distract him) but only for a few minutes and it went ok. Should I just keep that up, baby steps?

I'm really hoping to overcome this so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/7/2011 6:59:43 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChicagoAmy

My submissive has been having panic attacks while I'm sitting on his face... He swears he wants to get over this because it does turn him on...
Should I just keep that up, baby steps?



Panic stems from the unknown.  Thus, change this to a known by simply "face sitting" for a specified time (e.g., 1 minute... 2 minutes... etc.), and count down how much time has passed/is remaining aloud so your partner can mentally process, "Only 30 seconds more... only 60 seconds more, etc.) -- then slowly increase the length of time.  I'd also refrain for any restraints at this point, as well as possibly pleasuring him (jerking him off, maybe???) while "face sitting" to mentally associate something pleasurable with this.

That'd be my suggestion.  I hope this helps.





< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 3/7/2011 7:03:42 PM >

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/7/2011 9:31:43 PM   
CarnalNightmare


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/6/2011
Status: offline 		Well since a safe-"word" wouldn't work in that position, how about a safe-gesture, a.k.a. tapping out. 

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/8/2011 5:03:04 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'd drop it entirely for the next several months. As long as you're putting the focus on overcoming this, he's going to be worrying about it, anticipating an attack, which is more likely to cause one. Give him some time to process what caused it to happen the first time, and allow him to decide when he feels up to trying it again. Did he ever enjoy this because it may well just be a hard limit you will need to respect.

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/8/2011 6:13:46 AM   
ChicagoAmy


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		No he's always loved it. It's only been very recently that he started having panic attacks.

And to the above poster we do have a tapping out sign, so safety isn't the issue, it's just the anxiety in his mind.

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/8/2011 11:19:52 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~
 
If he loved it before, what changed?  If he can figure out what caused the first attack, then the two of you may be able to work through it.  However, I agree you should stop, completely, until you figure out what created the problem.  By forcing the issue, you could just making the problem worse. 

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/8/2011 12:27:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It took years to figure out why I had panic attacks when bound to a pole when usually I love bondage. He would try it, with disastrous results, and drop it for about six months, then try it again and so on. After the fifth or sixth time, it occurred to me that the difference was the one time I loved it, my head wasn't bound and my feet were tied to two different uprights on the deck. Whereas usually I was bound straight to a pole in the basement with feet together. With head bound, panic attacks. With feet together and head unbound I always felt off balance, wouldn't panic but gritted my teeth to get through it. Head unbound, feet apart for balance, multiple orgasms. Small things can cause big results. But what comes first is dropping it entirely so he isn't anxious that today he has to undergo it again.

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/8/2011 12:56:45 PM   
ChicagoAmy


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		I have no problem dropping it completely for awhile although dropping it forever is a big bummer. But he's the one insisting that we should keep trying. Maybe that's the way to fix it, drop it for a good three months or more then start back slowly. I don't know it's frustrating for both of us.

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/8/2011 1:21:15 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I'd drop it for a while, and then when you start up again, use a queening chair.

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/9/2011 8:01:58 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Does he also panic from other potentially perceptively claustrophobic experiences? It may not be related to face sitting directly if there was never any incident involved. But perhaps there might be something else he experienced apart from you that has given him a psychological hang-up when it comes to face smoothering related activities?

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/9/2011 9:01:11 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		Another thing some psychotherapists recommend (IANAD) do is gradually introduce something that causes fear/panic.

That is, if someone is afraid of flying on a plane, each week upgrade the level if they are now comfortable doing last week's task. Start with a picture, then try imaging being on the plane, then try watching a film of being on a plane, then try going to the airport, next week get on the plane and get off.

From the way you talk, it sounds like the face sitting starts out OK, but as you stay on, it gets worse.

Try slowly expanding the time. Start with 10 seconds each day. If he is ok with that, next try 20 seconds. Eventually you may work up to whatever you consider a full session

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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/10/2011 8:49:01 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I suppose a snorkel is outta' the question?



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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/10/2011 9:18:53 AM   
poise


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Status: offline 		I thankfully swallowed before opening this post.
sometimes timing IS everything!


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RE: Panic attacks with facesitting - 3/14/2011 11:25:54 AM   
cunninglnguist87


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I suppose a snorkel is outta' the question?




I lol'd

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