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gaining confidence - 5/5/2006 3:23:43 PM

knkygurl

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/5/2006
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I'm still fairly new to the lifestyle, but I'm confident that I'm a switch. I think that I'd even lean more towards the Domme side of things.
I've only met with one sub so far though, and he was into way more than I feel comfortable with starting off. I think I'd like to work my way up to more extreme things: doggy play; bull whips; and slave boy have particualr appeal to me. But, I'm not comfortable with it yet. I'm afraid to hurt someone and I'm afraid to push myself too far. What I think would be ideal is if I could find some sort of mentor or someone to co-domme with me for the first time or two, so I can get comfortable with the role. How would I go about finding this? I've changed my profile to specifically mention this, but I don't know how much intrest there is. Most of the people I've met don't want to do this. Any suggestions would help, thanks.

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RE: gaining confidence - 5/5/2006 3:32:20 PM

MissA

Posts: 192
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

Get active in your local scene/groups and inquire about classes or discussions on techniques. And then, just talk to people and you may find someone who can guide you and show you, hopefully you find several people and lots of perspectives so you can develop your own style. Above all I would advise you not to do anything you don't feel comfortable and 100% safe in doing yet. It's not worth the consequences that may arise. Research, Research, Research!

~Ms. A~

*Edited for spelling*

< Message edited by MissA -- 5/5/2006 3:33:42 PM >

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RE: gaining confidence - 5/5/2006 3:52:54 PM

WeeIttyBitty

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/24/2006
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I dont know how much bdsm community you have in your town, but going out to a munch, you may meet someone who can give you the mentoring that you desire. A few pro doms offer classes or mentoring programs, perhaps one of them could help you as well.

Learning to use a single tail whip is a very intimidating process for anyone starting out. A friend was telling me, that she used to get odd looks, when she would practice throwing her single tail, at a tree in park near her home. If you need more discretion than that, perhaps you could put some pillows in a trash bag, hang it from your closet rod, and use it as a practice target.

I havent seen one for a while, but there used to be instructional videos around on using a single tail whip. I dont know how good they are - or if they're still available, I think the last time Ive seen one "Indiana Jones" was just in theaters.

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RE: gaining confidence - 5/9/2006 5:13:13 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
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I learned how to flog and single tail from a pro. Not only did I get lessons on how to do it well, but once I was reasonably proficient, I also got the opportunity to practice on some of her more accomplished subs. Another bonus: I had access to many toys that I was unwilling to buy because I didn't know how to use them well.

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