RE: Dominance Fetish?

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/8/2004 11:25:27 AM

BigBadVoodooDadd

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

First, way to go for the folks at Webster for being so detailed. I snipped that excerpt out because I thought it was very interesting. Here are my two questions:

1) "and vice versa" refers to what? And a top is not necessarily dominant?

2) If the top is giving the bottom what the bottom wants and following the bottom’s instructions, is the top submitting to the bottom? I’d love to see the look on the face of one of my sadistic play partners if I said to him “thank you for submitting to my desires and servicing my needs chéri!” Then again, I better make sure I say that after he’s put down the whip!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigBadVoodooDadd
I know Doms that are masochists and that does not make them any less of a Dom, just makes them crazy ass bastards but that is it!

In my case, a crazy ass Bitch ;)

- LA

1. VICE VERSA means that a submissive might not be a bottom. Meaning that a submissive might not enjoy the power struggle that most bottoms do enjoy.

Also I do not think that Top is Dominant. They like to take the Dominant role in scening but in essence they do not have any Dominant traits in real life that can be used in the kink scene. It is the oposite of a bottom in the power spectrum but the same thing in essence.

2. Don't we submit to the bottom every time we negotiate the scene then? If we follow that logic we are the ones that are being used and the bottoms/subs/slaves are the ones that are being in charge.
I think they are reffering to the actual limits. Bottom is much more in charge of her limits and can very much push the person back if those limits are being run over. Subs have very little choice of it during the scene and slaves actually have no say in it at all.

Bottoms have much more say and abbility to actually define their limits during play and I think that is one of the big factors for their statement. A bottom is as much in charge of the scene as the top is at that time.

I hope this helps!

BBVD

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/8/2004 1:55:53 PM

topcat

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Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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quote:

So, have you noticed all the women who've replied to your post enjoy rough sex? Even those who identify as Domme? It's a common desire--even if they don't read romance novels. (Maybe they're closeted romance readers?)

Midear January-

Indeed- and as I consider it, I tend to be rather forceful in bed (even when I am trying to be vanilla<g>), and have rarely heard any negitive feedback from it - other than the occassional "man-I think you bruised my uterus!".

My usual approach to explaining this stuff to a mundane sort of person hinges on your observation about the commonality of such desires, and riffs off the primal nature of such drives, in fact. My friend in question, C. tends to far more aware of and outspoken about her desires than most that I have encounted.

quote:

So a woman who likes the kind of sex portrayed in these novels could be called a "bodice rippee".

I just call 'em a fun date<g>.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/8/2004 3:59:43 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BigBadVoodooDadd
I hope this helps!

Actually, it just make me more adamant to call myself "kinky" and nothing else! ;)

- LA

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/8/2004 11:03:24 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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Oh, yes!! And this isn't even about sex. I am getting alot of males who say they have to be forced. One of them actually said he wants this soooooo much, but his life is getting in the way (I laugh) and it would be much easier for him if I just came in and took control of everything! Actually, I have two like that right now. They can't submit on their own. What's this about? Are they afraid they are going to lose their manliness somehow if they admit to this need to submit to Me? But if I force them, it is ok?
I have news boys! This is not about what is easier for you, and I really don't care. I don't want it to be easier for you! But maybe I am jumping into a different area here. I haven't read the whole thread!

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/11/2004 9:40:51 PM

ShadeDiva

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It's called resistance play - or at least that's what I've always heard it termed as.

It can be any matter of things that are involved.

Sometimes it incorporates rough sex or sex or sometimes not at all.

It is startling to viewers not forwarned about what is going on or about to go on and it can be very intense.

It can have sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, top, or bottom flavors to it.

Play rape or play gang rape can be grouped in it, just as abduction scenes and interrogation scenes as well.

Sometimes the receiver meekly accepts it, other times they fight back with every ounce, other times, it's a mixture, and yet other times, it will flucuate througout the scene.

Scene might not be an appropriate word here, but I can't think of a btter one right now.

It can incorporate fists, kicks, smothering, bondage, slaps, pinches, general rough handling or harsh handling.

Wrestling scenes sorta dance around it.

It's VERY common, and if you are doing it with the right person and you are in the right mindset it can be a blast and it's VERY ah, energetic. You WILL burn a LOT of carbs doing it LOL.

*Vanillas* will do it, kinky folks will do it.

So yes, it exists, lost of folks engage in it, some publically some privately.

Behavior that would be deemed unacceptable submissive behavior sorta suspends itself in scenes such as that.

I would have NO desire dealing with a resistance scene as a dominant when it comes to rough handling or having to *fight* with my submissive. However, an abduction scene, or interogation scene I'd not mind.

Hmmm that leads me to realize I need to make a new topic LOL!

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/12/2004 5:50:58 AM

velvettears

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*makes a remark probably totally not having to do with this thread but* Reading this thread makes me think of Scarlett Ohara and how she always "pushed" Rhett to the edge, turning away and perhaps hoping he would grab her roughly and kiss her *or more* ...says her two cents and leaves blushing

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RE: Dominance Fetish? - 10/13/2004 4:38:57 PM

ShadeDiva

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ROFLLLLLLLLL Velvet!

I think it was on topic myself hehehe!

~ShadeDiva

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Post #: 27