angelikaJ
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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stellauk
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Why on earth would you conclude that just because someone likes edgy sexual activity, that they are magically competent at all life issues including past baggage and relationship skills? This makes no sense to me.
It might just be that I've met people who pretty much have their life all worked out and are living it and are growing old gracefully. Nobody is an expert at life or relationships in general terms, but on their own individual terms there's a lot of people who generally know what's what and they have it all figured out for themselves.
Granted, some people need therapy, but many people don't, and even if they are doing things we might consider stupid, harmful, self-defeating or socially unacceptable they are going through the experiences, living and learning. Life to me is really all about decisions, choices, consequences and learning from mistakes.
Thing is, there's very little I can conclude when I do come here, either here or on the other side, except for two things. First thing is that everyone else sees things differently, and second thing is is that there's a fair number of people here who are far more knowledgeable about things and experienced than I am.
I generally have a belief that there is some quality of life and experience even in the most sordid, the sickest, the foulest of experiences and that there is always something redeeming in the most twisted, most depraved, and disgusting minds.
Let's not forget that in whatever I post here I'm not just sharing my knowledge, insight, wisdom, and so on, I am also revealing my ignorance, my stupidity, my prejudices, and my insecurities. I may not see it, but I generally assume that it is a given that other people can.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Americans tend to suggest therapy a lot more than those in the UK. That's because you have to wait years to be assigned one and you don't get a choice in who you get. And we know that doing it that way means it won't be successful because you need to click with your therapist for it to work. If you don't like her/him, then it's a waste of everyone's time. So of course you think it's a foolish suggestion because it rarely is effective for those in the UK. It's equivalent to having chest pains and being told to wait two years till you can see a cardiologist and then being assigned a gastroenterologist. Doing it that way means you would assume all cardiologists are incompetent because everyone you know who needed one never got help when needed and always had permanent damage and a much shorter life span assuming you made it to the first appointment.
Really? I thought it was a much more cultural thing.
Also not sure where you get the idea that we have to wait years to be assigned one or that you don't get a choice over who you see. In some cases there are waiting lists, but generally speaking it's a matter of a referral and getting the next available appointment. And that is if you rely on the NHS. You don't have to. We do have therapists who work privately and also various organizations and charities have their own therapists.
I'd say it's just that we are different culturally and perhaps place a greater stock in dealing with stuff on your own and standing on your own two feet wherever possible.
Stella,
I don't see therapists as a crutch.
I stood on my own 2 feet for 41 years.
On the outside I was bright, competent and the go-to person in any emergency.
I was calm in any crisis, except for sometimes shivering... .
And I never cried.
(and yes I had PTSD; I just compensated really well)
The reason for that was I was completely disconnected from my emotions.
I see therapists as skilled people who possess tools and sometimes knowledge that can get some of us out of stuck places.
I don't see the people who need them or use them as weak or lacking or less than.
But, of course, that is my own bias.
If I could not experience sorrow, I also could not experience joy.
I had so much stuff and baggage stuffed that it was a wonder I could move, and actually, I really didn't...hence, being stuck.
My therapist never told me what to think or how to feel, he just helped untangle me.
And now, I am still bright and competent but now I can feel.
_____________________________
The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm
30 fluffy points!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg
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RE: WIITWD and social issues - support, codependency an... - 
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