|
xssve -> RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. (3/24/2011 8:07:04 AM)
|
It's a complicated and highly personal subject, I'm not going to address the subjective experiences presented, but try to provide an objective overview.
On the plus side, the female sexual act is one that is largely passive, there are indications that women have evolved to some extent to become sexually aroused by male sexual aggression, including rape, possibly for simple survival - you have to remember warfare throughout the centuries followed a particular pattern: kill all the men and rape all the women, and from a purely biological standpoint, it's probably better to be alive and pregnant than dead, lubrication prevents injury, enthusiasm evokes sympathy.
Anyway, humiliation and objectification is an extension of that, it's taking advantage of a particular trait to enhance sexual gratification - submissiveness itself is a trait evolved to prevent violence, i.e., in most mammal species, staring an Alpha male directly in the eye is the fastest way to a physical confrontation, you don't want to do that to a Grizzly or a Tiger, or a Silverback, for example, it serves as a sort of social lubricant, otherwise we'd waste all our time fighting, and the injury rate would be detrimental to group fitness when it comes to all the other stuff you have to do to survive and thrive, and like most things, nature furnishes rewards for behaviors that enhance fitness, in this case, subspace, a form of erotoleptic ecstaticism.
And yes, that can be addictive, but we've been down that road, we all have to choose what gratifies us, we're all "addicted" to food and air for example, the rest is what makes your motor run: money, shoes, whatever, this is just one among a number of options, many people are boredom addicted, can't stand any sort of excitement, others of course, just the opposite, they require a certain level sensation and stimulus to feel alive.
Clearly, given our human capacity for abstraction, we abstract these sexually agressive behaviors as well: we're capable of stepping back and viewing the scene objectively - that's why it's rape play, objectification play, humiliation play, etc. - it evokes the emotional response, which can be quite profound, without having to deal with the long term consequences - and that's the downside: loss of identity can be vary stressful.
These are things that all potentially involve violation and loss of identity: just as rape is a physical violation of ones physical body, humiliation and objectification is a violation of ones psychological self - that stress can cause all kinds of physiological problems, depressed cognitive and immune system development, etc., some people simply lose the will to live under those conditions in which questions of self-identification are non-trivial.
That's what Dr. Laura failed to comprehend, the "N word" isn't just a word, with a particular, unchanging meaning: it means one thing when a Black comic uses it, it means something entirely different when Dr. Laura says it - in large part, it's a question self identification, how you feel about yourself, and identity projection: what other people say you are, and that's where the violation comes in, when a particular identity is being projected onto you that is at odds with your self identity - the degree of cognitive dissonance involved there is what makes the difference between laughing it off and getting your ass kicked, if you happen to call somebody the "N" word, or a slut, or whatever - these aren't just words, they signify entire realms of complex interpersonal interaction.
It's much the same difference as between jumping off an airplane with full understanding of the potential consequences and taking precautions against them, and getting tossed off without warning.
Intent is huge part of it, and even women into objectification and humiliation react very negatively to random strangers attempting to objectify them, there is an interpersonal connection that has to made there first, in order for it to have the desired effect: the target has to be receptive to the dynamic, the initiator has to be able to transmit the proper sympathy/empathy, or the whole thing is going to go South, fast, it's no different that allowing you to violate her personal space with your penis, everybody has their standards - if you don't have some idea what they are, you might both end up miserable - a relationship is communication, on both verbal and non-verbal levels - otherwise you just have two animals butting heads.
|
|
|
|
