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LadyHugs -> RE: been offered the possability of collar (5/6/2006 7:05:16 AM)
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Dear guarddawg, Ladies and Gentlemen;
Like another dominant mentioned, there is an awful lot of activity for 18 months. To chaotic in my line of thought.
However, I would put the priority on your marriage and your wife, the boy too. Make a list of pros and cons of having another person enter your life, as to act as some "marriage council" or domination of the household. Structure is what you seek fine; but structure your marriage and family first. Outside SWITCH/Dominant or whatever last.
Are you considering the collar for your benefit--or the benefit of your marriage/family?
What contract will you have, as to "daisy chain" the command structure.
Will you loose your rights as a dominant of your wife, as you submit, making you both submissive? What recourse do you have in a D/s conflict to which you're in the middle of or the situation it creates?
Who is responsible for who? When? Where? How? --
Are you jumping into the collar because you use it as an excuse to avoid responsibility to be a husband/father? Is it some "sexual" kinky sex training? Will having somebody else run your life effect your son?
Why is the wife/mother so mellow on the matter? What is her opinion? What is her worries; what are her reasonings for being collared and or played with? What are you using D/s and or M/s for -- marriage therapy? kinky sex? healing? getting over issues by taking an 'around about route?'
Is it the lack of confidence that you need to have a collar to have that "safety net" --
I'd put my priorities in focus, in my humble opinion. As, anybody enters your marriage and relationship so boldly and blindly, will effect the marriage and the child.
Have you asked the SWITCH what impact awareness they bring to your home, marriage, family? Are they acting as self imposed advisor authorized by collar? Are they changing you from your authentic self into something that is not really yourself?
Are they aware the possible harm from entering the relationship? Will they withdraw if they are causing a problem or will they keep forcing themselves on you, your wife and or child? Will they be disciplining your child?
I'd ask myself what the collar means -- is it a risk, is it a crutch, is it passing off the responsibility of being a parent and making others responsible?
I'd then ask the wife--what the collar means to her. If she is unhappy but, goes along with it to make you happy--that is a deal breaker.
What is wrong with mentoring/coaching -- why do you need a collar?
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
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